Read this the day you posted Frieda. First much love and respect for this poem. It is one of your best, as not an ounce of whining as happens in a lot of poems written addressing the contradictions of suffering, abuse and the death these things cause as well as the heartache of those left hehind but trying to make sense of the reasons and whys.
You sharply identify many of these feelings in lines tense with the frustration of everything involved. I would have to quote your whole poem to express this, but you already know your poem. But I did appreciate the last few lines, not only for its conclusion but if read carefully for digging further into all you are presenting.
Yes, things do happen for a reason, BUT NOT FOR PREDETERMINED REASONS. We can know why something happens but it is not inevitable that they happen, or happen the way they do. Yes we do make choices, but the choices we make are determined by what we think is possible and are capable of doing and also that these choices are based in reality. Otherwise the choices will have very bad results... I realize I maybe walking heavily in your poem Frieda. Like a bull in the china shop. But it is because I appreciate this poem so much and how you are crafting it that I have attempted to express my thoughts.
And now I have written too much... it's so good to read what you write again Frieda even as your writing leaves my heart in many pieces...
~~redzone
Read this the day you posted Frieda. First much love and respect for this poem. It is one of your best, as not an ounce of whining as happens in a lot of poems written addressing the contradictions of suffering, abuse and the death these things cause as well as the heartache of those left hehind but trying to make sense of the reasons and whys.
You sharply identify many of these feelings in lines tense with the frustration of everything involved. I would have to quote your whole poem to express this, but you already know your poem. But I did appreciate the last few lines, not only for its conclusion but if read carefully for digging further into all you are presenting.
Yes, things do happen for a reason, BUT NOT FOR PREDETERMINED REASONS. We can know why something happens but it is not inevitable that they happen, or happen the way they do. Yes we do make choices, but the choices we make are determined by what we think is possible and are capable of doing and also that these choices are based in reality. Otherwise the choices will have very bad results... I realize I maybe walking heavily in your poem Frieda. Like a bull in the china shop. But it is because I appreciate this poem so much and how you are crafting it that I have attempted to express my thoughts.
And now I have written too much... it's so good to read what you write again Frieda even as your writing leaves my heart in many pieces...
~~redzone
As always, you fill my mind with an array of haunting thoughts...
"relief in hurricane's blast patterns
can't own the rain without drowning first
if everything happens for a reason,
Why then, is the rhyme always fractured..."~ Like a riddle, this keeps us wondering... and we can only drown in the sorrow before we find the answer...
i love the first two lines .. they laid me in my Lazy Boy and i prepared to go dream drifting .. instead you slammed your foot on the foot rest and jolted me awake .. this question that you raise is certainly perplexing ... given the premise "..everything happens for a reason," dooms an answer with our experience doesn't it!? ...
I am so happy and tickled you are back :)
E.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Can't have you drifting off E! Glad to be back sweetie. :-)
I recognize these places and spaces between the tableaux of our lives. Oh when things flowed and those problems were simpler...did we recognize then how simple things were? I know I only see it in retrospect sometimes. All choices have consequences, and not only for the person making them, but for everyone they touch. We are the buoys on their wild oceans trying to keep it all afloat. Fractured rhyme and fractured time seem to be traveling companions and they stomp a path through our stories. I think everything happens as a trajectory and we make up the reasons after all is done. Excellent poem Frieda, I mourn we've got to write them.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I doubt we did Anne, it was chaotic perhaps, but simpler. I knew you'd be touched by this one. Thank.. read moreI doubt we did Anne, it was chaotic perhaps, but simpler. I knew you'd be touched by this one. Thanks so much...
this is really sad... we keep getting told that everything happens for a reason....but i like sean connery's line in "finding forrester" "There are no reasons, reasons why some people live and some people die!"
really powerful stuff here, Frieda.
jacob
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Jacob, I've never seen the film, but might just have to look it up now.
10 Years Ago
Frieda, you would really appreciate that film...it is a writers' film...i show it to my lit classes... read moreFrieda, you would really appreciate that film...it is a writers' film...i show it to my lit classes..
I lost 3 family members to Suicide only 2 I was close to
one I never meet :/ but I know the feeling I still think
of them both off in on.
this was Beautiful sad and heart wrenching also.
I loved these stanza's lines the most.
a place where rhythm still flowed
waters treading convolut'd at bay
swaying in serenity's beating meter'd restitution
before compensation's thunderbolt hit dust
in retribution's realization of your eyes
you did it to yourself
I think you meant I am hoping waters treading convoluted at bay.
swaying in serenity's beating meter's restitution
Either you meant meter's or metered Bit confused on that one.
But great piece all in all Thank you for sharing.
Blessings. kindred poet
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Oh my, I can't even imagine three, so sorry for your loss kindred poet. It was 2009, seems like an .. read moreOh my, I can't even imagine three, so sorry for your loss kindred poet. It was 2009, seems like an eternity, yet only yesterday.
10 Years Ago
I was 16teen with one a great grandpa I am now 35. and 2013 of October a younger cousin in law he .. read moreI was 16teen with one a great grandpa I am now 35. and 2013 of October a younger cousin in law he was 21 or 22 he took his life. but I never knew Jeremy he's my husbands cousin he took his life but he is why my husband became a Eagle scout. I think next month I am going to dedicate some poems to a young friend I lost she had a sickness not sure what it was she was 28years old it will be 5years next month of July 26 of her death would of known her 30 years if she was still alive but I grant them as blessings to be in my life. will have to write about how I over came my grandpa passing But Loosing Jason the Younger boy really woke me up back to reality I was so lost at that point in my life. But I hope all is well with you too. I really Enjoyed reading this.
Blessing. kindred poet
If only Murphy’s Law didn’t trump Serendipity, then all would be well; but I’m afraid that our universe must wind down to zero before beginning another climb into blissful forgetfulness and naivety with us all tagging happily along as part of it once again. Life is an exhilarating amusement park ride. Enjoy the moment.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Some moments aren't so amusing, thanks for your thoughts.
10 Years Ago
But there's always a silver lining in even the darkest cloud.
10 Years Ago
Not really, but good if that's how you see it.
10 Years Ago
That's how I see it. I always find that gem in each moment that outshines all else. Since I don't ha.. read moreThat's how I see it. I always find that gem in each moment that outshines all else. Since I don't have high expectations, I'm never depressed about anything. The world isn't going to live up to my expectations of it; it only requires that I'm perceptive enough to appreciate the hospitality that it has to give as I‘m just its honored guest.
10 Years Ago
Not having any expectations seems kind of depressing to me, to be honest. Many things are out of ou.. read moreNot having any expectations seems kind of depressing to me, to be honest. Many things are out of our control, but that doesn't mean we accept them lying down....
10 Years Ago
Only up to the point where we're not chasing windmills like Cervantes' "Don Quixote". How long must .. read moreOnly up to the point where we're not chasing windmills like Cervantes' "Don Quixote". How long must he suffer for his imaginary Dulcinea?
10 Years Ago
Imaginary is a totally different story, I'm speaking of real pain and insufferable loss, show me the.. read moreImaginary is a totally different story, I'm speaking of real pain and insufferable loss, show me the silver lining there....
10 Years Ago
This world's a place of change, and in the end, all is lost. If we don't learn to live with loss, th.. read moreThis world's a place of change, and in the end, all is lost. If we don't learn to live with loss, then we don't learn to live at all. We become lost before we're lost. I'm grateful for those friends whom I'm known since childhood, those who have gone their way before teaching me some valuable lessons in life along with some good times never to be forgotten.
10 Years Ago
I hardly disagree with that, that doesn't make it hurt any less. Some losses leave deep scars, to av.. read moreI hardly disagree with that, that doesn't make it hurt any less. Some losses leave deep scars, to avoid that reality would be useless.
10 Years Ago
I wonder what deep emotional scars led your sister down the path that she took, or was it drugs, pha.. read moreI wonder what deep emotional scars led your sister down the path that she took, or was it drugs, pharmaceuticals, or was it a chemical imbalance in her brain, or all four? There’s much that may interfere one’s natural instinct for self-preservation. This is a complex plight. I lost one of my brothers myself, but I lost him to war defending our country, that isn’t the same thing.
10 Years Ago
It's a long story, actually when I wrote the poem, I was thinking about my son, who does have a chem.. read moreIt's a long story, actually when I wrote the poem, I was thinking about my son, who does have a chemical addiction but fits both....all loss is painful, but the loss from a suicide, leaves one with so many unanswered questions. So sorry about your brother.
10 Years Ago
I don't tear my self to pieces thinking about my brother. What I think about when I think of him are.. read moreI don't tear my self to pieces thinking about my brother. What I think about when I think of him are all his war buddies whose lives he saved by giving is own. He stood his ground for love and country between them and harms way. I would have done the same if I’d been in his place. My brother would want us all to enjoy the moment and not be sad.
Oh, screw everything happens for a reason. I hate that, even when I say it. Sometimes horrible stuff happens to good people, and looking to blame does no good for anyone. Anyway, a wonderful write, Frieda, full of pain and frustration, sadness, and wondering.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
My sentiments exactly, that and 'this too shall pass'...thanks KL.
This is a pristine ode to "the way things used to be".
I cannot begin to describe the clarity of your writing hear, it is so pristine. Filled with questions of why, and understanding that there will never be answers. There will only be the sun raising on the next morning. There will only be more heart ache on fields of gold wheat. There will only be misery at the end of the rainbow. A proclamation that the destination is not what we need to look for, but instead the continuum of the journey. Wonderful write.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks for such an insightful review Streamline, much appreciate your words.
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..