As always, you have a natural talent with words here; and so much clever word-play. First of all, I love the pun here, Poppycock indeed. ;) Playing off the traditional rhyme (although I am pretty sure the original uses peck and not pack), to make a tonguetwister was a clever idea... but still not the masterstroke that your final line was. I adore the imagery of "blooming lie" and in its myriad of meanings (although hearing blooming in slang, I never hear the 'g'), so maybe go with bloomin' just for the sake of the pun?
Posted 10 Years Ago
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10 Years Ago
Yes I think you're right, I saw the graphic and wrote it in about two minutes...forgot that it was p.. read moreYes I think you're right, I saw the graphic and wrote it in about two minutes...forgot that it was peck, but I like the idea of bloomin'....thanks so much.
Frieda! This is short, delicate, with a touch of malice. The malice of course wins out. You have a way with words, my dear, and you continuously blow me away with each bloomin' write! xo :)
sounds like that broken hearted lover needs to get out and find herself a new and sexy and handsome and compassionate and preferably happy to use his tongue when called upon ..... x x hehehe love to you chickka xx
Got my tongue twisted (in my head, at least) in the first few lines but I sure adore "'he loves me not'/secret rendezvous/in each bloomin' lie". The words have a dreamlike, nostalgic effect on me. Reminds me of those days when me and my girl friends pluck out petals from summer flowers while chanting "He loves me. He loves me not." And when we didn't like the answer, we'd murder another random poor flower again. :)
short and to the point ... the turn in your second line is dramatic for me ... first line i'm smiling and prepared for some Frieda humor but no ... second line i'm dashed to the rocks in sorrow and pain ... thats what lies do :(((
E.
Very nicely stated! I LOVE it--and so fitting for my mood at the moment--and my lesson of the day--(40 Lessons)--Thank you as always for sharing! Each time I read your work, I find myself delighted by the experience!
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..