Darting Betrayal

Darting 'tween raindrops

to rid the abrasive tears

   blindly seeking resolution

in braille's austere posture

desert wastelands slay'd

     my intuition's austerity  

couldn't see through the fog

   to an ambivalent heart

my voice stifled in stippling words

rasping in ambiguous thunder, 

nothing could dislodge indignation's

 voice'd rant of inauthentic regret, 

 started out a tempered debate,

 ending in loathsome hate ...

 a sinister cloud formation

paid no mind to your snide smile

within your blustery glare, 

 no breath in this disfigur'd swallow

      placed your verbal sword

          upon my chest          carv'd

    discontentment upon my breast

   hell to pay in this raucous quest

lost my way, at storm front's door 

only the pouring reigns landing

 in a dry eye'd resignation,  

     could ease the pain to   

         make sense of this betrayal

Author's Note

Reviews

[Jack...]

Betrayal can come from many places, friends, family or a special loved one, but no matter where it originates it always manages to dislodge the heart causing it to crack. In some cases a little love seeps out, some cases a lot and in some cases all of it. My dear Frieda, your beautiful poem today speaks loudly to me. Your words send a message from deep within your heart and it is heard.

You construct monuments to your thoughts with poetry. You chisel out every tiny facet with your artisan's talent and thrill me every time I visit your world. Bravo!!!!

[Frieda P]

Indeed it can, you always manage to put a positive spin on it though, I suppose it's human nature and we all experience betrayal at one time or another, thanks muchly Jack!

[athena]

Through your poetry i see a heart that is rich with sublime beauty. I am really touched

[N!LoC]

ooooooo i like this one.... very... hmmm. "scandalous"? .. lol... i dont knoe what word to use... lol but i like it

[s y e]

Ouch, I do hate this topic but I know that it happens to everyone at some point. I know I've been betrayed and I know that I've betrayed before (I'm not happy about it) I do think that in a way it is a part of growing. We all make mistakes and sometimes that can cost us alot, but we still do it.

I can so relate to this one with every fibre of my being and I loved how you have written it. x

[Ayvid N]

Frieda, betrayal is painful in its own right but coupled with indifference and insincere regret, it can be deadly. A very touching poem, I pictured a tiny helpless waif darting between raindrops, helpless against s mighty storm.

'Lost my way at storm's front door' is a priceless way of putting it! You did wonders with this write.

[Shadow Paradox]

Betrayal not cool. Can't begin to count how many times I've been and have had betrayed but we learn from our mistakes and from others ignorance to keep moving on, the stronger we grow, we bend but never break. Every smile doesn't mean the person is happy or that they love you, but there is a flaw to everything beautiful you just have tilt your perspective to see the different shape, like stenography. Beautiful reading and nice choice of music.

[paddy d daly]

which is worse, the betrayal or the being blind to it, I think you touch on that in the third and fourth lines, overall quite intense missus,,,

[redzone]

OUCH... betrayal sucks especially when you don't see it coming (your imagery with the"fog" is great) often though when attempting to "make sense of this betrayal" we look inward and miss that the betrayal was done to us, not by us... and often in the betrayal done by men to women it is not just commonplace, but socially acceptable practice developed over centuries, even though almost everyone knows it's wrong.. I always appreciate how your art draws us in and challenges our thinking in open and in subtle ways. For example how you penned the first 8lines.. into the fog we go and have to follow so we can get out only to be confronted with the horror of "confronting a verbal sword" .... WHOA... let me stop here but hopefully you know that I love your poetry Frieda. At some point maybe you will tell me why and how you developed the 'd style.. ~~redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

You knew I would dig this one.:) I wonder about voice'd though - apostrophe seems kind of unnecessary.:)

[BlackRose]

No likes to be betrayed in anyway. It doesn't matter who you are. Hurts like hell depending who they are and how close they are or were to that person. Your words cut deep and heart full of love pours out. FAB piece you pen here of it so well.

[ron]

Its sad that people will do this to others. Some like it as a form of control. I hate all the forms it can take and the ones that use it like they are owed something from someone...if that makes sense.

[Frieda P]

Makes perfect sense ron, and I concur...thanks so much.

[ron]

You are most welcome Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Control freaks me out, although I always seem to need it for myself.

[ron]

Lol. You can have all the control over me to fulfill your needs.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I have learnt the hard way that people who are supposed to love you are sometimes the ones smiling slyly at you while they stab you in the back.

[Frieda P]

Exactly....thanks Vidya.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Frieda P]

Have a great Sunday pazzo! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Same to you chica :)