Elusion's Disbelief

afraid of what was and what will be

          at an impasse of delusional catastrophe

are you still breath that exists

             if I can't see the essence of your smile

                rouged lips before storm's deluded deliverance 

    untouched by hurricane's hush before it silenced dawn

 poignant posies escaped atmospheric pressure

           'tween angst and harmony's yonder aspirations

speculated on a cloud of dust'd past grievances

             phantoms unprecedented glory be

beauty within skies' torturous moons

             my anesthetic mind dreams nevermore

                   spirits haunting lucidity of reality's gasp 

mocking in mirror'd reflective ghostly images

        darkly colored iniquitous consternation

                amidst constellations of heaven's lie

 grounded in elusion'd discernible disbelief

                  quietude of sanity's revelations beckon 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i can never read your poetry just once ... there is simply too much there to miss if one doesn't take time ... "Elusion..." what a great and seldom used word! .. stuck in a quandary .. palpable misery of over stressed mind ..gone numb ... prayers fall lifeless at ones feet ... whoa and calamity is surely coming ... this is a tale of someone in need of a rudder ... i am feeling as a puddle after reading .. and i agree totally with the Noodle ... big squishy hugs to you and another fascinating poem
E.

[Frieda P]

So kind of you to say E, thanks muchly, trying to catch up with reviews and RR's, I dare say it's impossible at best...I did so miss reading your words. x

[m.s.early]

You are definitely the sorceress of words Frieda. I so enjoy your read requests. Your sweet and delicate style makes me feel like I'm swimming. Keep the faith sister :)

[Frieda P]

Feeling is mutual I assure you xavier, thanks muchly :-)

[s y e]

Woo, you are blowing me away. I am gone for 2 days and you have written so many amazing poems each different, unique and special in their own way but each having the effect this one does and that is blowing me away. However, this one is completely filled with sadness and all I want to do it jump through my screen and give you massive, squishy huggles. I cannot tell you how this one affected me, you own my very tears.

// rouged lips before storm's deluded deliverance
untouched by hurricane's hush before it silenced dawn
poignant posies escaped atmospheric pressure
'tween angst and harmony's yonder aspirations
speculated on a cloud of dust'd past grievances //

Yikes, I want that hurricane to come to me instead of you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. xo

[Frieda P]

Awh you humble me sweet noodlebumble...thanks so much xo

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is sad Freida emotional and sad you have penned it very well :)

[Frieda P]

The mood hit me so I had to purge it, you know how that goes....thanks Vidya. :-)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes I know about the soul purging well done .You are welcome :)

[Claire in VA]

Sad but beautiful poetry. Sigh. Thanks for sharing.
Claire

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Claire.

[Devesh]

Once again, you left me speechless! Brilliant, just brilliant.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Devesh, you're always so kind, muchly appreciated.

[Devesh]

You're most welcome :))

[Scott Metro]

I feel a stark emptiness in this..
You always use choice words and phrasing..making it sparkle.
Love the little wolf in the video..I think that's my cousin Ralph..LOL
Enjoyed it Frieda...
Scotty

[Frieda P]

Scooby doo waffles....you're a nutter, Ralph eh? ;-) Thanks Scott...

[Scott Metro]

:)
S...........

[redzone]

Sorry can't hear the music you embedded with this poem Frieda, wish I could.. it is truly amazing how you are able to entice us into this hurrican'd vortex of delusional catastrophes and torturous moons, allowing us to know you and feel the deeply emotional pain that swirls around you. Someday you may be able to see that the past is past and while it pulls at us, it is what we do with the present that really determines our future.. love you and your wonderous poetry Frieda.. in the words of a young friend jazz'd flip flops and gushy heart'd hugs(me)... ~~redzone

[Frieda P]

You would enjoy Epica curt, I know you appreciate an eclectic mix of music. Thanks so much for your sweet words, you always blow me away with your reviews, and who could resist jazz'd flip flops and gushy heart hugs, right backatcha. xo

[A. Amos]

FP, my dear friend what a true magician of words you are, I truly wish all the new inspiring writers should read you're work to educate themselves as I do while reading you. You my friend are a true blessing for this world and I from bottom of my heart only wish you the success you truly deserve...which is shine like a star, cause that is what you are my dear. Proud of your writing and I'm honor that I'm one of those who can call you friend...Thank you so so very much.
This work of yours took me in a different world and now I have to find way to come back:)

[Frieda P]

My dear Amos, you have left me speechless with your kind words, you truly humble me, you've touched my heart my friend. :-)

[A. Amos]

You deserve much more my friend and you're most welcome

[Sami Khalil]

We confine ourselves in our hollow hearts being condemned by the darkness of consternation thinking of there are any happy trails in life, any escapes from the ravenous shadows, under the delusional catastrophes of history. Intertwined with ghostly spirits who used to dream like us before passing on to the never lands of sorrows...A touching write...:)............

[Frieda P]

Sigh 'hollow hearts' that says it all, thanks so much Sami.....

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. So true...You are welcome muchly...:)..............

[Nusquam Esse]

I was surprised to hear the song... I actually own the CD it is on... :P Granted it is one of the more 'popular' bands I listen to, but still nice to see some Epica. My favorite lines were the 2nd and the last two lines, excellent choice of words. This poem is excellent, as always! You have such great word choice, which seems to dance on the edges of your mind; superb flow which is not riddled with distracting typos (like far too many poems on here). I commend your command of the English language, and your attention to detail and nuance; it stands out in a sea of mediocrity.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for such a grand review Nusquam, I love Epica, I think I've use them once before, depends on what music I hear in my head whilst writing. I did have a stray apostrophe that my private editor KL snagged me for, ;-) thanks so much for your kind words.

[Nusquam Esse]

I saw him mention it, so I felt no need to point it out... besides, an apostrophe is not a huge deal in contrast to the nightmares of poor spelling and atrocious syntax.

[Frieda P]

You have to make concessions for those poets that English is their second language, I give them a lot of credit, but the people/kids that blatantly say overlook the errors, to them I want to respond, don't worry I won't be reading it....

[Lyn Anderson]

Frieda knows me and Frieda can take it. And, just so you know, it is something that if it bothers people and they post it, I just don't comment. But, in my humble opinion, good writers like to put up their writing PERFECT exactly as they intended. And Frieda is an excellent writer, and therefore deserves not to have her keep errors posted. I absolutely hate it when I miss a word or put an extra and -- a poem with 50 plus views and no one points it out, personally, I find that insulting. :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks KL, you know I only tease you, much appreciate it, since I feel the same way...you're just better at it than me. ;-) I can usually catch it in someone else's work but miss it in my own...odd I know.

[Nusquam Esse]

Well of course, I am all too understanding of those who are not Native speakers. I myself speak 3 languages, but my other two are far from perfect. I mean, my Japanese is good enough that I am not worried about completely humiliating myself, but there are times where I am sure my writing might be a bit confusing. However, complete disregard to English when writing in it (especially Poetry which uses subtle word play in one form or another) is just disgusting to me. Story writers focus on the flow of an entire story and its characters and setting. While poets focus more on the flow between words... But far too many people seem to think poetry is just writing something short; they don't write poetry out of appreciation for beauty but simply because they lack the ambition to write something longer... >_> When you cannot be bothered to proofread a poem a few times, then why should you expect others to read it? (especially multiple times, like I feel good poems should) The phrase, "I use it to express myself and to cope" does not excuse this; in this case, you should just keep your writing to yourself. I feel that as writers, we shouldn't just aim to express, we should also aim to improve and challenge ourselves so that we can better express ourselves. Sigh... sorry for the rant; I am sure that by now it is no mystery what has been frustrating me about parts of the community on here.

[Lyn Anderson]

It is not odd at all. The usual one to catch me was John in the beginning. And I used to get so annoyed no one else pointed it out.

[Frieda P]

Which John?

[Nusquam Esse]

When no one makes an attempt to genuinely point out your short comings, you can't help but feel that all praise is superficial! A large amount of the reviews I have received feel like this, but it is not a complete loss, I have had some great reviews from certain people on this site.