_RELENTLESS_

Photography ~ Christian Martin Weiss

Landlocked seas deeper than you could ever envision

    in the garish light of day you still can't imagine

   how deep the waters go beneath your soul

  fathomed in technicolor'd foam dragging you rock bottom

  from the tip of your crown, til splay'd on your knees,

           power of persuasion will haunt your psyche

       an amused cat with a mouse, toying endlessly

          injected under the skin as a festering toxin

The spirit of sleep that never comes 

     in your hour of pain when you seek peace

   blink        in your head, it'll disperse your bones

     take you from the ones you love

twist your mindset til it's crippled

    no one can rescue your sanity

prick 'd  reminders of broken promises

     desolate within forsaken tidings

there'll be no garnered reprieves,

   wreaking havoc     forcing your hand,

you'll be stripped naked to the core

    altered thought patterns's, taunt's forte 

Vociferous in assaulting crazed delirium

  holding the power of your deliberation

    ever sagacious, it will never leave your mind

  Mistress of unscrupulous tenet

     no way to be saved from its clutches

    torturous grasp burrows in deep

       entangled guts tied up with heartstrings

                You can't escape, you are render'd,

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

I don't even know why I like this as much as I do... but this is my favorite of yours... and one of my favs off this site. I love the relentlessness which you depict here, such a deep pain which seeks to drag you down and consume you. Or perhaps it wishes only to drag your limp corpse across a razor sharp reef.

Favorite line was
Vociferous in assaulting crazed delirium
holding the power of your deliberation
ever sagacious, it will never leave your mind

I love how you used both vociferous and sagacious in the same sentence; two ideas which are rarely held together. Usually meditation doesn't consist of screaming, but this is something new... powerful... and deep. As if gone is the sage who seeks enlightenment through calming his soul, and here comes the sage who has found his own enlightenment through bounding with a primal energy which only he understands.... a feral fury. Thanks for the review... it prompted me to come here and look over this, and I must say, I think I got the better deal. ;)

[Frieda P]

I do believe you just made my day Nusquam. 'drag your limp corpse across a razor sharp reef', why didn't I think of that? You got it spot on, thanks so much for this glowing review, :-)

[Blue]

"no one can rescue your sanity" -You are hopeless, then, Frieda. :P

Anyway, I absolutely like how detailed you described the word "relentless". I think your mind would make an excellent dictionary.

[Frieda P]

Ha-ha smartypants, don't I know it? ;-) I meant thanks muchly Arzel....

[Rita L. Sev]

Raw emotion in a whirl of brilliant vocabulary... I could feel the sensation of drowning in a sea of emptiness, a hell of one's own making... A vivid and amazing write, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Rita, how did I miss this marvelous review....

[Raymond Federle]

Wonderfully dark...and I've heard this music before...hmmmm....luv it! ;)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Ray, did you use this music already? T'was hauntingly accommodating...

[Raymond Federle]

Yeah, I used in one of my Comfort House Chronicle stories. I tend to use 'Sound Cloud' for all my music needs anymore.

[Raymond Federle]

Here's the addy >>> https://soundcloud.com/stream

[Frieda P]

I can't figure out sound cloud sometimes, and it won't always play automatically for me.

[Raymond Federle]

when you click oon the "embed" button and the window pops up there will be a butto at the bottom that says "view more" and PXl 350...click on that then scroll down and there will be a "auto play" bitton

[Frieda P]

There was no 'embed' button on the one I wanted, have no clue but thanks Ray...

[Raymond Federle]

No problem...some of them you cannot embed because they "turn it off" but oh well..C'est la vie

[Frieda P]

Ahhh no wonder, thanks again...

[David Scott]

The poetry was indeed "relentless"!
Sleep is telling...
I like your way of saying a feeling is gutting your soul...
Unlike the red head swimmer too... ;)

[Frieda P]

Gutted soul, precisely, you read me well my dear friend, and ha....my hair was that color once, don't ask. ;-) grazie mille

[David Scott]

I know you are a red head... All fire and ice baby. Wild Thang indeed.
Happy Thur.

[Frieda P]

Ha you have me giggling like a silly school girl here, did you slip some nitrous oxide on my thread? ;-) Happy day to you too hon.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Whew, this is one of the best poems I've read from you, dear Frieda. Great job!

[Frieda P]

Wooo thanks so much Brittany! Appreciate your kind words my friend.

[Devesh]

I could almost feel a little bit of your pain while reading this. You captured your emotions perfectly, in a way that is very very powerful. I'll also admit that they scared me a little. It makes you wonder what somebody must have gone through to write such a haunting piece. Very well written.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Devesh, glad it left an impression on you.

[Devesh]

You're welcome :)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Another masterpiece Frieda! Nicely written.

Kaze~ :-)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Kazie, you're always so sweet. :-)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome Frieda! And than you. :-)

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

I love how your poem matches with the music. Great work! Your poem captures perfectly both of the pains from physical and psychological shackles.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for your kind review Cascara.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goes Cascading!)]

my pleasure

[Lily Mae]

Talk about sensory over load...my oh my... At the beginning I felt like it was the kind of poison of the Puffer fish..a dangerous toxin...then my mind got lost and was taken deeper into the pain and suffering.. Maybe in a sense the toxins were a symbol of the slow death... Sometimes a part of us has to die to make room for rebirth... but you know all that... In other words.. amazing write...xo

[Frieda P]

Thanks Lily Mae, we all know, don't we, it's just never that easy...xo

[kublakhan27]

I rarely read more than one piece by you in a day my dear, because I need a day just to process everything you throw at me and my senses in one poem, but I simply can't keep up with the epic scope of your output otherwise. You produce two or three new things in the time it takes me to process one of them. There is simply no limits on your imaginative brilliance. You are a poet, you are a muse...I'm blessed to know you...xo

[Frieda P]

Awh geez Benji you're gonna make me cry...thanks so much my sweet friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

You make me do that a lot too Mrs.R :) xo

[Frieda P]

That's my job ;-) xo