Ice'd Lullabye

Your untouchable promises

     chill'd in my veins

my fragile posies were left

           out in the frosted reign

swept me up in your darkly 

                 abstruse sweetness

etch'd love songs

          on my skin's tremblings

prayers that were answer'd

          with sad weakness

lullabies dull'd my sensibilities

        and dying fortitude

fell on my knees upon

         my own strangled heart

rescuing  me from myself,

          you brush'd lusty tendrils aside

in contemptible silent sighs,

               from the depths of apathy

i need your emptiness to 

      fill my void'd briny spirit

frosted over my convictions,

             i lie frozen in icy drifts of regret  

Author's Note

Seriously, captcha is hellhag!

Reviews

[Eric Pudalov]

This poem is so powerful I'm having a hard time finding the right words to express how I feel about it, Frieda! It's rare that I'm at a loss for words, but I think this is one of those cases.

Nonetheless, I still like it; if you moved me that much, I suppose you've done your job!!

[Frieda P]

So good to know Eric, thanks muchly, this one happens to be a favorite of mine, jazz'd you enjoyed.

[Eric Pudalov]

There's the featured review thing again...I still don't get it. How do you "feature" something?

[Lyn Anderson]

This is lovely, and very sad and soulful. I think I would say lullabies - unless you want it to mean something else other than plural, and the last line not sure if I would pluralize regret, but anyway, great read.

[Frieda P]

Thanks KL, yep you're absolutely right, thanks, love having you around to edit, by the way which way did you like it better?

[Lyn Anderson]

without the apostrophe or the plural, but that's just me ...

[Frieda P]

No not that, I changed a line from the original, not important, Scott and the kimmer caught drift of it....

[Lyn Anderson]

Ahh, okay, thanks for clearing that up

[Jack...]

This one is extremely chilling...cold shoulder and all of that. Once again though, I am amazed.

[Frieda P]

Whoa I never got a one liner review from your pen Jack, you feeling okay...thanks so much for reading this one.

[Jack...]

I'm sorry, I must have lost my head. You know Frieda how I feel about your poetry. You know that I think you are the most amazing poet on this site. I was just having a bad day. Please accept my apology. This poem is so very beautiful, it touches and caresses to the core . It truly does amaze me how you manage to do this everyday...day in and day out. One beautiful poem after the other... and each one a stunning work. You make reading poetry a wonderful experience and I am so proud that I am fortunate enough to get to read it.

[KAOlmsted]

...is this an example of releasing the Kraken?? xD (love you, Jack xoxo)

[Frieda P]

Ha no usually it has to blow your skirt up over your head to be a Kraken ;-)

[Jack...]

No Kimmer, it's an example of an a*****e making up for a stupid mistake he made.

[Marie]

. You met G.H. didn't you?

[Frieda P]

HA how did you guess Marie?

[Marie]

Been there, done that...

[KAOlmsted]

WHO IS G.H.??

[Frieda P]

Hugh Laurie, he plays Gregory House, Marie has the hots for him, she's been lusting after him since forever and every....

[KAOlmsted]

ohhhhh...right ;-) I might have known... House. Here I thought we had a new WC stud xD

[Frieda P]

Well you know she lusts him too, but he's never around and I doubt she'd name him erhum ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

That reminds me...I need to email "him" ;-)

[Frieda P]

You're a glutton for punishment and a perv ;-) hahaha

[KAOlmsted]

;-) and not necessarily in that order...

[Frieda P]

HA I was being kind, going easy on you since it's your first day back..... ;-P

[KAOlmsted]

The Brit just came in and rolled his eyes *laugh* He's all...This s**t again?? xD I better get busy and write a new piece...might as well get the HUGE eye roll...no good going half-assed in the cafe xD

[Frieda P]

Since when have you ever paid the Brit any mind? ha you hit your head or somthin somethin? ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Must have bumped my head. Need. More. Vodka.

[KAOlmsted]

(sorry Marie) xD

[Frieda P]

I'll send a St Bernard toot sweet.

[Frieda P]

Oh right, she's going to get dragg'd into our nonsense, ha, I'm sure we'll hear about it, you know Marie, she doesn't hold back.................

[KAOlmsted]

A good old fashioned Marie scolding. A Marolding, if you will. (sorry...on a fusing kick)

[Frieda P]

*Rolling my eyes* @ you, you've been away too long apparently ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

I know...it's like I'm all virginy and whatnot ;-)

[Frieda P]

Hahaha I'd go with whatnot ;-P

[KAOlmsted]

HA! xD Good call ;-)

[Scott Metro]

Icy drifts of regret..that's a great line.
Woven nicely.....
Some sadness here tho....
As always...you shine.
Scotty

[Frieda P]

It's a reflection off the icy promises, I meant thanks muchly Scott ;-)

[Scott Metro]

You are the poet sugar..
Scotty

[Frieda P]

The sugar poet, or poet sugar? ;-)

[Scott Metro]

same thing...both will work;)

[s y e]

This is a great poem, Frieda. Simply divine and really well worded.

// swept me up in your darkly
abstruse sweetness
etch'd love songs
on my skin's tremblings //

These lines are beautiful, it all is beautiful but these lines jumped out at me.

Flip flops & all that jazz!

[Frieda P]

Thanks, woo I got a 'divine' and flip flops, doing the happy dance! Grazie mille noodlebumble...

[KAOlmsted]

I think Scott and I read two different poems? Either that or you are the fastest editor in the history of the cafe ;-) I like both versions. Good ink, lady.

[Frieda P]

Ha I couldn't make up my mind....figures you'd catch it!!! Thanks eye-spy, good to have you back! ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

xD I'm such an asshat xD xD xD My pleasure...

[Frieda P]

Now I'm perplex'd and kerfuffled haha, never an asshat, maybe the 'B' word, ha kidding ;-) mwah!

[KAOlmsted]

right...the Brit is the asshat...I'm a ...Baroness? Barista? Bi-polar Bacon-wrapped Bovine? (holy s**t that sounds good) What is this B word of which you speak??

xD

[Frieda P]

You got it, bacon wrapped gooey goodness! ;-D

[David Scott]

I love this one Frieda! My favorite poem today!
The line, "I need your emptiness to fill my void'd briny spirit". I know it might mean something different as a separate line, but man did this resonate.
I know we can be giving all we have and it may seem like nothing to the ones we love because it is not what they needed or wanted.
How many times have we heedlessly, "brush'd lusty tendrils aside in contemptible silent sighs,"?

You are penning strong today Wild Thang!

[Frieda P]

Whoopsie, I changed that line, now what? Ha, thanks so much Scott, I was hoping someone could relate, I've had this on the back burner for a while and wasn't sure it'd work...you made my day hon!

[David Scott]

Oh.... ;( I liked it better before. I can see this works well too, but the other felt more raw. LIke oysters on a half shell going bad and wasted.

[Frieda P]

Ha geez what imagery....that would make up my mind immediately....! Since you're so deep and I trust your judgement, especially when it comes to smelly oysters, I'll change it back ;-)

[Frieda P]

You know I always tell myself to go with my first instincts and then I second guess myself anywho....must be a poet thingy.

[David Scott]

I understand this... Revision can ruin a good poem. Editing is as much an art as creating the poetry in the first place.
I am deep, but I may full of shite rather than gold some days... ha.
I am glad you took my advice here however... Thank you for trusting my opinion. You have given me a great compliment in doing so.

[Frieda P]

Haha I can usually tell which days you're full of shyte my friend ;-)

[David Scott]

I do have those days... Ha.

[Frieda P]

Don't we all? You must be human after all hon ;-)