Epodic Fray

'Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues'

 Our conflicting ink brand'd

                our ballad lullaby

     i held your soul up to the sun, 

            threw wildflowers at your feet

  comparing all my poetry in your eyes

   

 there was no rhythm or rhyme

                  to the poesy'd verse

  we strive'd to reach a utopia 

              of selfish similes

   instead achieved cutting

           each other to the proems,

   bleeding into your story

           you sneer'd at my words

   whilst  subliminally assaulting 

                  my precious analogies,

        metaphorically speaking 

                  we were worlds apart

  left with shattered participles

             dangling in the overtures

    ~taking the high road

traveled lest known to stray,

                consorting within a softer sonnet

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Two entirely contradicting people who reign from separate worlds conjoined in a relationship trying to connect the dots by thriving in ignorance and the refusal to really analyze each other; by never touching any at all (might I say, brilliant and awesome, in the archaic definition). But the opposing party made the grave mistake of trespassing unto your territory, and critiquing your insecurities when you were not nearly close enough to being comfortable with the other party: leading into a string of arguments that ultimately led to the duo to conclude that they were never meant to be . . . Well done, this played out nicely.

[Frieda P]

Freaky Tai, sometimes I think you can see into my mind, thanks so much my friend.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well they say opposites attract, It is a task to find a balance in a relationship when both are so different ,but it makes for great sparks :)

[Frieda P]

That's what they til someone gets shot ha ;-)

[Vidya Bacchus]

There is that lol :)

[Frieda P]

Ha, I knew you'd agree with moi! ;-)

[Vidya Bacchus]

.......................:)

[Frieda P]

It don't come easy........... ;-)

[Vidya Bacchus]

That is the truth :)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

WOW! A brilliant write.

Kaze~ :-)

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille! :-)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. ;-)

[Katherine R.]

This sounds like someone hating on your poetry, if you ask me.

Love it! You and your wonderful poems. ENVYYYYYYY

[Frieda P]

Ha thanks Katherine, you make me smile :-)

[SAYED THANGAL]

the lines are so touching , it has a good rhythm

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sayed, jazz'd you enjoyed my rhythm...

[Blue]

Impressive vocabulary, word choice, and structure, Frieda. Another well-crafted poem from you. A bliss to read!

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Arzel! Like the new avatar...

[Blue]

Thank you. I'm wearing the costume of vocaloid "Rin". :)

[Frieda P]

Eh, speak English haha ;-)

[Blue]

Haha. It's an anime thing. I don't fully understand it myself but my anime-addict friends can discuss it with you at full length. ;)

[Frieda P]

Ahh gotcha, this old lady is out of the loop with anime... :-)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a great metaphorical ride. Loved it. I noticed a few of your photobucket images were moved in the last pieces you wrote.

[Frieda P]

I think photobucket has gremlins too,,.thanks, I guess I have to replace it or my OCD will be off the charts hahah

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh dear … sounds like someone is spending a little too much time focusing on your poetry for the sake of their own insecurities. Write it as you see it and feel it … poetry is subjective and how one feels about any given style is shifting; so ultimately be true to your muse. Time is the only true test of any piece of art's worth and none of us can see into the future. But yeah … way too many critics.

Loved the meta - metaphors in this … truly clever.

[Frieda P]

Oh I like 'meta metaphors' Pryde, thanks so much.

[Rita L. Sev]

left with shattered participles
dangling in the overtures

Very cool concept here, Frieda. Relationships - so much depends on the right words at the right time... like poetry...

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Rita, jazz'd you enjoyed.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

there's no such thing as a free lunch darling, a well written and researched piece! good read.

[Frieda P]

Nope, gotta pay the dues...thanks Thomas.