Colorless Indifference

COLLABORATION~ Jack & Frieda Lovely piano music compos'd by just Jack

bled out through your vain'd indifference

the taste of sulfurous poisons on my skin

glance'd a mocking blow in your inertia

lethargic in  sharing  gravy'd recompense

overcompensating in my own redemption

we all fall down in soil'd nonchalance  

toxic meanings frown on broken promises

puddles form at the feet of the weary

drinking in the essence of face forward moments

brandishing a sword of tolerant gilding

slicing downward at the head of the beast

missing the mark in blinded fury

dancing forlorn on an empty wire

wrapp'd around unwilling strides

vault'd stairway to Utopia's doors lock'd 

step into the lion's den unwithered

flowing out an execution's finish

flood of tainted claret cruor feel unto my toes

conviction bows to untrusting desires

never again to weep salt’d tears

stain’d glory amiss in hollow parched lips

and fire brand’d breaths aiming

armor plate and rusted dreams corrode

running from white light rabid stares…

Author's Note

Reviews

[s y e]

It's has gotten to the point where I just don't know who beings and who ends... You guys just fit together perfectly. Like a missing puzzle has been completed when you two collaborate together, it makes my night and leaves me sighing and smiling.

// toxic meanings frown on broken promises
puddles form at the feet of the weary
drinking in the essence of face forward moments //

This is beautiful. My two favourite people, please don't ever stop writing together. You will soon be able to make a book out of these beautiful writes and I'll be the first one to buy it! Haha. :-))

And Jack, like I told you just now, that recording is simply amazing! You blew me off my feet.

The imagery is so vivid and beautiful.

Flop flops & all that jazz!

[Frieda P]

Thrilled you enjoyed this one noodlebumble...I'm partial to it myself, didn't Jack do a wonderful job on the music, fits perfectly with the sentiment, thanks luv! xo

[s y e]

He is one special, talented man. :) It blew me away. x

[Blue Ivory]

Gosh, the music and the words combined together just made me feel so sad inside! Simply beautiful!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You both write lovely separately but together wow.........

[Lyn Anderson]

Ah yes, I know this well. Interesting piece.

[Frieda P]

I think we've all been there at one time or another....

[Mark]

Not sure of where this poem is supposed to take me. It feels a little like a conglomeration of images that have little to do with one another. It doesn't read like indifference but like suffering, anger, loneliness. the affectation... 'd ... I spent a minute or two trying to fathom the difference between vain and vain'd. I guess it could be a subtle reference to veined... as though indifference was a vanity and coursed through out the body. Is this a common affectation from a certain type of poetry? I have to admit my ignorance that I have never really seen anyone use it before. Am wondering if I"m just not well read enough to understand it.

[Frieda P]

Hmm, not sure what to say to this Mark, sorry you didn't get the feel for this one,I disagree with you on the conglomeration of feelings, indifference encompasses many emotions, it's the absence of any strong desire, so yes I'd say it involves suffering and lonely feelings. The vain'd I was hoping would come away exactly how you took it, wasn't sure if anyone would understand, and yes I'm trying to impress you with my 'd...I just like the way it looks. Thanks for your critique, sorry you didn't like this one.

[Jack...]

Damn Frieda, looks like someone has mark'd up our collaboration review...oh well, you can't please everyone. :) Thanks for reading Mark.

[Mark]

LOL funny man!

[Ruth]

You two work so well together...I am in awe each time I read you both. Each collaboration literally sings and I love the music here too. Both elements set for a remarkable piece of literature that flows and each line is woven into the next with utter conviction. Truly wonderful, both of you x

[Frieda P]

What a stunning response, thanks so much Poppy! xo

[Ruth]

My absolute pleasure x

[Poetic Beauty]

The feeling of tiredness and feeling as if you aren't getting anywhere can be overwhelming. The cycle of being lost and not knowing where to go can be heart aching.

[Frieda P]

So thrilled you came away with that feeling PB, thanks muchly.

[Poetic Beauty]

This piece definitely has a melancholy feel to it.

[Rita L. Sev]

The poem is wonderful - you work together so well. I love the music, Jack - Listened through after reading, and am blown away by the talent. This is a collaboration of so much talent!

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Rita, yes Jack is multi talented....!

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much Rita. I'm multi something...Frieda is the talented one

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A rather indifferent piece really, beautiful descriptive wording and a clear guide for the reader, yet there is an inherent ambiguity of clear subject, good read.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Thomas, thrilled you enjoy'd our collaboration...

[Jack...]

Thank you Thomas. Happy you stopped by to visit our world today.

[Shaquana Adams]

This is beautiful. I love the imagery and word play in this one. Great job :)

[Frieda P]

Thank you so much, glad you enjoy'd our collaboration. :-)

[Jack...]

Thank you so very Shaquana for your kindness.

[Shaquana Adams]

You're both welcome!

[Justsimplyjulia]

that painted a beautiful picture, i was so amazed reading this!
fabulous write!
-Dragon

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Dragon, glad you enjoy'd our collaboration! :-)

[Jack...]

Thanks so very much my friend. Anytime I get to write with someone as beautiful as Frieda it is a great day for me.