~EXpir'd Dance

untimely teeming downpours,

     my tears slid down your cheeks

as your heart bled unto my soul

    without concessions revelation's pulse,

alas, beating eyes speak in disclosure 

    proclamations etch'd in blood

envelop'd the yielding surface skin

    strapped to a behindhand'd watch

that read a confession of surrender

   at quarter past indignity and 

half past sinful indulgences

   rollback was warranted

but time had earlier run out

   faith expired on the second hand

dance end'd when the music laps'd

     love died an untimely death

...whilst the band play'd burning violins

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Time dripped into the bottom of the hourglass at the same speed in which the rain poured, the tears fell, and the heart bled and dribbled down, only to have your lover realize far too late and try to fix things that can be repaired no longer. I quite enjoyed this one; it's a clever take on the hourglass concept presented uniquely with a metaphor twisted in delicately . . .

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Tai, exactly, always jazz'd to read your reviews..

[Trace]

The ending of many things,
very in depth thoughts here.

Enjoyed the music you chose to compliment your words,
Trace

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Trace, you a Leonard Cohen fan?

[Trace]

Don't know that much of him, but definitely enjoyed your clip.
Makes me want to go listen to more of him,
Reminds me of Chris Isaak whom I am a big fan.

[Frieda P]

I love him, he's one of my favorite poets/singers, he's even better now that he's older, his voice is all raspy, I think you'd enjoy him a lot....

[Katherine R.]

Love it. It's really emotional. Only issue is lack of caps. But in just picky. Good job, friend!

[Frieda P]

Thanks, depends on my mood if I use caps or not, muchly appreciated!

[Katherine R.]

Ah. No prob, though!

[Bri]

Very strong and deep. I loved reading it. Strong emotions there.

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Bri.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

A very innovative yet sad piece. I loved the analogy of love's end to a clock. Wonderfully done!

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Gleb.

[NeiL ArandA]

Comparing a relationship to a clock. A relationship that has gone cold. Just like the clock that lapsed. Its beyond repair. It crossed that time or place or point of no return. Relationship is complicated sometimes just like the mechanism inside the clock. Once damage through neglect or mishap its too costly to repair and too valuable to replace ... Beautiful piece Ms Frieda ..thanks for sharing

[Frieda P]

Seems to me, it's always about timing, thanks for your insightful words Neil.

[Mark]

God, Cohen is such a f*****g genius. You aren't too bad yourself. The end of love.... I just wrote a poem about that myself. Nicely done btw.

[Frieda P]

He's still got it too, amazingly this song is about the concentration camps, and the music that was playing as they were lead there, not much of a love song...genius, yes indeed.

[Ahena MK]

my tears slid down your cheeks
as your heart bled unto my soul
really good !!!

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Ahena!!

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Reminds me of a relationship I had once... Well done, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Hmmm, I guess a few have been in these dancing shoes Travis, thanks so much.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ah, to "rollback" and understand all that went before the death of a relationship... You write with an eye to both harsh reality and wishful fantasy, Frieda. I love your word choices.

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Rita, you're so kind, you made my night.