Psychotic Waltz

Fundamentals of madness

    warping skin around the brain 
miter'd head splits wide open, 
        like blue skies wanting to thunder
dark heart leapt out from under
          blinded burnish'd eyes
world looks annihilated
       from the validity of upside down
birds have severed vocal chords,
butterflies shed their wings
          there's no dance left, aside from
   ghost steps of a psychotic menacing waltz
          & one dark raven hauntingly swaying

Author's Note

Reviews

[m.s.early]

Eerie yet intriguing. The flow so carefully leads one line to the next that I was done before I knew it and read it twice more before gathering my bearings. It made me think of a pleasant trip into insanity as if an invitation. Naturally my mind lends to the thought of Poe whenever anyone mentions a raven around me (and The Allen Parsons Project for that matter) and for me, that added to the darkness.

Great. I love having my mind bent.

[Frieda P]

Yes insanity by invitation only, ha, thanks, I love your review....

[Sheila Kline]

Intensely beautiful, dark and stirs my soul - words, music, images all bid the depths of my spirit to cry out for understanding in the shadows of the heart and mind - there seems to be complete entrapment at times! There are those moments when eyes do not see, when voices may not scream, and the outside world is forbidden to the one lost in the perimeters of the forbidden to become lost in ghost steps of a dance that should not be..........really wonderful as all of your writes are!!

[Frieda P]

Oh Sheila, I like your review better than my poem, always love to hear your thoughts my friend. Thanks so much.

[writing mojo]

very dark inward to the ritual of being shadow enslaved...excellent piece

[Frieda P]

'shadow enslaved' perfect definition, thanks so much mojo

[writing mojo]

welcome as always dear friend

[Vidya Bacchus]

Me thinks the lady has gone dark lol.This is different from your other stuff still it has quite a way about itself.I like.

[Frieda P]

Dark and testy, I had my crankypants on when I wrote this..ha, thanks Vidya.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well I must say that you wear your crankypants very well lol.You are welcome Freida :)

[Frieda P]

Ha they get a lot of wear LOL, thanks! ;-)

[Vidya Bacchus]

And don't believe what anyone tells you.It does not make your butt look big hahaha.

[Frieda P]

ROFL!! .....................

[Rob Santana]

Damn Frieda. This dark. I love it. I bet when you walk through a park all the lovely birds go silent!!!

[Frieda P]

Hahaha, not a chirp in sight. Thanks Rob!!

[Lyn Anderson]

Ah Frieda, I was waiting for this one. A minor suggestion, unless you are concerned about keeping two syllables, what do you think of "there's no dance left but the" instead of aside from?

[Frieda P]

I take it you don't like that line, I always feel 'but' negates what's written before it, will have to think on that one...thanks KL>

[Lyn Anderson]

it's not that I don't like it, it's just when I read it it flows better. Just an opinion, not gospel by any means.

[Frieda P]

Appreciate the suggestion, will see if I can up with something else that continues the flow, thanks again.