A mother's anguish...

...just a simple thought

although unsettling ones persist,

from the center of my universe

unfolded of the heart

furled in golden ribbons

for you to behold

lemondrop kisses

apricot nectar'd hugs,

you were the sweet little boy

i bounced upon my knee

reminiscing when life was simpler

before the monkey on your back,

twisted addiction zapping your fortitude

pulsing false breaths of pleasure

can't you see past needle's eye/

deeply cutting into darkly dwelt fragility

at what cost will you defray this pain

tearful of ashes that curb this hook'd bag

you're killing us slowly with your fixation

where did my precious baby boy falter

or was it me?...

Author's Note

Reviews

[luviva]

this is a mother's cry...
and i felt for you even though i have no kids of my own
i understand the pain because i see the little boys waste away
on streets puffing away cigarette smoke as you as 12 year... and i cry a
deep cry. you might feel responsible but the son "baby boy" is at fault too
he had a choice, to remain the baby boy that mommy adored or to waste away to an addict.
but fear not... he will return to you!
time will come when he realises that addiction is no good.
everyone has a turning point and his will come.
nice write.. for all the parents and young boys here on WC.
enjoyed it as i always do

[Frieda P]

Thanks for reading this one luviva, hopefully you're right, before something tragic happens.

[luviva]

he will turn round.. just be receptive when the time comes

[Vidya Bacchus]

I have three kids and I pray everyday that they follow the right path,we can talk until we are blue in the face but they do after all have a mind of their own.We hope that our years of loving them would make them capable enough to face this cruel world but we will always wonder if we did'nt do enough.

[Frieda P]

Exactly Vidya, thanks so much for your kind words.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome:)

[SAYED THANGAL]

the real love of a mother portrayed very well, very emotional one. good.
I also wrote like this in my ''my days are counted'' ,
all the best

[Frieda P]

Thanks sayed muchly appreciated.

[SAYED THANGAL]

very pleasure

[Scott Metro]

It wasn't you Frieda...don't ever think that. !!! Modern society is ruthless, void of meaning for a lot of people. Sometimes the most sensitive people fall victim to this..it's often easier to live deep within ones self than to face the falseness surrounding them.
Maybe he'll at some point realize that love is all there is...and his demon is no replacement for that.
I pray for this to happen.
Bless you...you are kind and sweet.
Scott

[Frieda P]

Awh thanks Scott, you'd have to be a mother to understand that rationale, everything is our fault. Thanks so much for your kindness my friend.

[Scott Metro]

Admiration your way Frieda...you are a strong woman.
S.

[Frieda P]

Much appreciated Scott, thank you.

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh, Frieda, the maternal love and heartache in this one reached out to grab me. We can not control what our children do. We raise them with "lemondrop kisses" and "apricot nectar'd hugs", but the truth is, they become adults and they start to make their own decisions...ones we sometimes don't agree with. You gave him the best foundation you could and now it is up to him to travel into the world. Hopefully he will see what he is doing to himself is not wise and he will get control of his addiction, but all you can do is let him know you are there for him if he needs emotional support. Let him know you will always love him. That is what a mother can do....nothing more. Your heartache pierces my soul after reading this one. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Lydi, your insightful and supportive words mean a lot to me.

[Rachelle]

How do you pass on wisdom to people drowned in immediate self-gratification presented by media and all that is around them such that any tiny bit of frustration would send them running to a means of escape?

[Frieda P]

Good question sweetbind but I think it was more than a tiny bit of frustration that sent him there, i'm just worried about the long journey back now...

[Rachelle]

Not a parent's fault when the individual can already make choices.

[Ahena MK]

unfolded of the heart
furled in golden ribbons

you're killing us slowly with your fixation
where did my precious baby boy falter
or was it me?...
wonderful ... keep it up
ahena

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly for reading this one Ahena.

[:o]

This is a scary one from you Frieda. The sadness strains your words and the music has a spookiness to it. The last line is striking in the way you asked the question. It leaves me wondering if the child did this on his own or was it by taking after his mother. Incredibly moving.

[Frieda P]

Scary indeed. The music is from Requiem for a Dream, a movie about addiction, and to be honest, yes, I was addicted to prescription drugs after an emergency back surgery years ago, so I know how difficult it can be. We're a lot alike, and are addictive personality types, whether it comes to drugs or any other faucet of our lives. Thanks for your kind words Lacey, muchly appreciated.

[:o]

Wow, I didn't know that. I was under the impression this was fiction. I'm such a dork. I know people who have that addiction gene, it can be real tough. My prayers are with you and your son.

[Frieda P]

I wish, most of my stuff comes from reality. Thanks again Lacey.

[A]

This journey from "apricot nectar'd hugs" to "deeply cutting into darkly dwelt fragility" and the end with guilt.... That's exactly what anguish is and you made me feel it very deeply. I still live the times of sweetness with my two boys, always hoping that they won't have to face that darkness alone... I wish all the best for you and your children.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Anabela, I still live that sweetness from my three boys, but sometimes harsh reality gets in the way.

[Coyote Poetry]

We bleed for our children. I like the journey and thoughts in the poem. The ending is true.
"where did my precious baby boy falter
or was it me?..."
When our child falter. Make us feel like we did the same. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Exactly Coyote, thanks so much for your kind words.

[Trace]

As the father of 5 I completely understand where this is coming from.
I guess I have been lucky that they have made some pretty good choices
although I still have a 9year old that has a lot of choices still to make.

We as parents can only do so much as we try to teach our children to be responsible adults
then it is up to them to decide how they want to live (or die sometimes)
and sometimes it breakers our heart.

This is extremely powerful and thought provoking.

Greatly enjoy your writing.
Trace

[Frieda P]

I do realize that, but it's so hard as a parent, a mother especially to sit idly by whilst watching them wrecking their lives. He is my first born, had such promise, a firefighter who's saved lives, now he's destroying his own. Thanks for your kind words Trace, and five...wow. I thought three was a lot.

[Trace]

Also have 5 grandsons

[Frieda P]

Wow, you started early I see. ;-)

[Trace]

I may be older than you think

[Frieda P]

We're all older than we think. ;-)

[Trace]

I know huh!!

[Frieda P]

I'm still 17 in my head! haha