A mother's anguish...

...just a simple thought

although unsettling ones persist,

from the center of my universe

unfolded of the heart

furled in golden ribbons

for you to behold

lemondrop kisses

apricot nectar'd hugs,

you were the sweet little boy

i bounced upon my knee

reminiscing when life was simpler

before the monkey on your back,

twisted addiction zapping your fortitude

pulsing false breaths of pleasure

can't you see past needle's eye/

deeply cutting into darkly dwelt fragility

at what cost will you defray this pain

tearful of ashes that curb this hook'd bag

you're killing us slowly with your fixation

where did my precious baby boy falter

or was it me?...

Author's Note

Reviews

[luviva]

this is a mother's cry...
and i felt for you even though i have no kids of my own
i understand the pain because i see the little boys waste away
on streets puffing away cigarette smoke as you as 12 year... and i cry a
deep cry. you might feel responsible but the son "baby boy" is at fault too
he had a choice, to remain the baby boy that mommy adored or to waste away to an addict.
but fear not... he will return to you!
time will come when he realises that addiction is no good.
everyone has a turning point and his will come.
nice write.. for all the parents and young boys here on WC.
enjoyed it as i always do

[Frieda P]

Thanks for reading this one luviva, hopefully you're right, before something tragic happens.

[luviva]

he will turn round.. just be receptive when the time comes

[icelandicblue]

This is an arrow through the heart that I know well. Our beautiful boys are still in there somewhere. I just know they are. We just need them to find themselves again. I understand completely and the heartbreak and tears are never ending. We loved them to full capacity and somehow they chose a path not realizing how deadly it was and they can't find their way home. We shine the light, keep the candle in the window and pray they find it and come back to us.

[Mark]

"where did my precious baby boy falter
or was it me?..."

Would it help if you were responsible? I don't know, it's so hard to watch loved ones with addictions. The no meaning saying 'it is what it is' is about the best that anyone can do.

My heart goes out to you and your boy.

[Tam Warink]

Very sad, Frieda. One that is all too familiar to many. A mother sees and watches her son waste away from an addiction. Helpless it seems... an unjust punishment but one that she endures. An inspired write that cries for inspiration.

[Kianna]

Dear Frieda P,

Hello, how are you doing today? I was going through my newsfeed and decided I wanted to read some poetry today. My, my, I like what I have encountered so far. I cannot identify with a mother's anguish for I am not a mother, but reading your poem makes me feel the mother's pain. In fact, it reminds me of mi abuela and her pain.

I love these lines here, "furled in golden ribbons
for you to behold
lemondrop kisses
apricot nectar'd hugs,
you were the sweet little boy"

I sort of wonder why you say "golden ribbons" and use the many shades of yellow, but it might just be pure coincidence. As I read it again and again, golden could also represent happy as if they were the best times. However makes me feel the mother's nostalgia of the good times.

These lines, "twisted addiction zapping your fortitude
pulsing false breaths of pleasure
can't you see past needle's eye/
deeply cutting into darkly dwelt fragility
at what cost will you defray this pain"

I found them a little random and felt they didn't flow as well. I mean it sounds nice and I do understand that these lines were meant to describe the sadness at watching her son fall and wanting her son to make the right decisions when she says, "don't you the needle's eye..."

Then the lingering, rhetorical question, "Was it me?.." I thought was vague, but what gives it a nice appeal and makes me understand even more of the mother's anguish.

I say good job.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Ruth]

Not easy and a most emotional poem love...beautifully worded, as always, hard to think of the children having their paths to walk, wrenching, in most cases, the song is emotional too, beautiful xx

[Frieda P]

Thanks dear Poppy, much appreciate your kind words. x

[Traci]

My heart goes out to you dear friend. We as parents will always wonder if we were at fault. That guilt leaves us heartbroken and causes many sleepless nights. We can only hope and pray our children will make the right choices, and if they are the wrong ones, they will somehow find their way back into the light, knowing the extent of our love for them. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your baby boy, stay strong, and believe in your heart you were/are a good mother, who did all you possibly could for him. Love you.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Traci, appreciate your kindness. xo

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

What a heart wrenching poem. I'm sure you did your best to guide him the right way. My heart goes out to you. What an amazing write.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Kaze, appreciate you reading.

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your welcome.

[Pryde Foltz]

A very expressive and naturalistic write and very heart wrenching. I have a young son and the thought that he might have to battle such a demon is terrifying. I send you love.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Pryde, you never see something like coming when they're so young and innocent.

[Pryde Foltz]

No, you don't. I lay the blame on the high level sociopaths that sell and distribute the stuff... Profit over humanity.

[Frieda P]

Yes, I'd like to shoot every one of them, but there's always someone out there prying on a weak moment.

[MsJewel]

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through Frieda. We want our children to make the right choices and I think it is only natural to feel guilty when they fail - wondering if we did something wrong or guided them in the wrong way. My heart goes out to you my friend.

Hugs, Julie

[Frieda P]

Thanks Julie, much appreciate your kind words and hugs. xo