A mother's anguish...

A mother's anguish...

A Poem by Frieda P

...just a simple thought
although unsettling ones persist,
from the center of my universe
unfolded of the heart
furled in golden ribbons
for you to behold
lemondrop kisses
apricot nectar'd hugs,
you were the sweet little boy
i bounced upon my knee
reminiscing when life was simpler
before the monkey on your back,
twisted addiction zapping your fortitude
pulsing false breaths of pleasure
can't you see past needle's eye/
deeply cutting into darkly dwelt fragility
at what cost will you defray this pain
tearful of ashes that curb this hook'd bag
you're killing us slowly with your fixation
where did my precious baby boy falter
or was it me?...

© 2014 Frieda P


Author's Note

Frieda P

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Featured Review

this is a mother's cry...
and i felt for you even though i have no kids of my own
i understand the pain because i see the little boys waste away
on streets puffing away cigarette smoke as you as 12 year... and i cry a
deep cry. you might feel responsible but the son "baby boy" is at fault too
he had a choice, to remain the baby boy that mommy adored or to waste away to an addict.
but fear not... he will return to you!
time will come when he realises that addiction is no good.
everyone has a turning point and his will come.
nice write.. for all the parents and young boys here on WC.
enjoyed it as i always do

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thanks for reading this one luviva, hopefully you're right, before something tragic happens.
luviva

10 Years Ago

he will turn round.. just be receptive when the time comes



Reviews

I could say, it wasn't you but that gnaw...I've felt it myself. Its always there...
I am blessed for the moment in so many ways. My elder likes a good cigar and a shot of whiskey now and then. That's the extent of it. I am grateful. Because I'm a lousy parent - he is alright in spite of me.

Posted 10 Years Ago


this is a mother's cry...
and i felt for you even though i have no kids of my own
i understand the pain because i see the little boys waste away
on streets puffing away cigarette smoke as you as 12 year... and i cry a
deep cry. you might feel responsible but the son "baby boy" is at fault too
he had a choice, to remain the baby boy that mommy adored or to waste away to an addict.
but fear not... he will return to you!
time will come when he realises that addiction is no good.
everyone has a turning point and his will come.
nice write.. for all the parents and young boys here on WC.
enjoyed it as i always do

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thanks for reading this one luviva, hopefully you're right, before something tragic happens.
luviva

10 Years Ago

he will turn round.. just be receptive when the time comes
Fearing that your son's frets or troubles originate from his upbringings is a normal feeling among mothers, accompanied by the thought that "maybe if I raised him differently, things would be better." Fine portrayal of motherhood, Frieda. Well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thanks Tai, muchly appreciated.
Oh no sweet mother twas not you! No not at all. Though the addict may not be at fault he is still solely responsible. I went into an Al-Anon meeting once and was so drenched in guilt felt compelled to apologize to all mothers on behalf of alcoholics and addicts everywhere! Just as foolish of me to think I could quench their regret as it was for them to claim responsibility.

You stab at the heart of the matter so painfully. Such wickedness creeps into the soul and sometimes prevails against the odds. How the odds shrink as we grow older in this matter. How evil those hedonistic chemicals that warp their minds and seep into the condition of those about them. Let this be a reminder that addiction is a family disease, an insanity that knows no discrimination. You capture that so woefully.

No beautiful mother twas not you. We can only love our children to our greatest extent. Even after that their life is theirs.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much xavier, your kind words mean a lot.
m.s.early

10 Years Ago

You're welcome. Your poem touched a deeply personal nerve. Thank you, poet.
Such a tragic poem, Frieda. I pray that the Good Lord leads your son back to the real world and that your suffering will end soon.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thanks Joyce, much appreciated.
Not you, Frieda... I have been watching a friend go through this with his sister; he is most concerned about his parents. He asked me recently what he could do for them, and I told him to continue to be the good person that he is, so his parents can see that they did not fail. I cannot imagine this heartache - the World has demons that find their victims, in spite of love... but Hope is always there...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words Rita, really means a lot to me.
Frieda, this poem brings back many painful memories, I have of my parents struggling with my younger brother's alcoholism, and various messes, which I helped them, to clean up, after him. Of the many months, my dad cried himself, to sleep. Something, my dad, rarely do, show his emotions to others.

For my dad died, in November 1998, from a broken heart. And my brother was living on the streets, hiding from the family for 3 years, before resurfacing, once more.

I hope, your son find the strength and courage to battle his daemon head-on and regain control over his life.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

therisa

10 Years Ago

Your welcome, Frieda, just wish you didn't have to write a poem like this.
Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Sigh, me either, I wish that every minute of every day...........
therisa

10 Years Ago

I understand.
Like this a lot. To add a personal note; my son had these kind of problems, that he thankfully got over.
There is no simple answer, but my position was always ; reject the addiction, not the the person, get help, and often it turns out OK.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Good to know Leslie, thanks. And yes, I so agree, people speak of tough love, but the rejection doe.. read more
Beautifully penned. Pure, raw emotion. Hopefully he'll find his way back...

I realize this is not the same, but my little brother has anger management problems and I can't help but wonder what happened to my sweet, little baby brother? I knew he would grow up, but not like that...

Posted 10 Years Ago


The anguish of seeing someone for what they were, while watching what the have become. I'm sorry for your pain, but applaud you for this courageous write.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on January 9, 2014
Last Updated on January 9, 2014

Author

Frieda P
Frieda P

NJ



About
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..

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