After submergence...

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Survivors astray in the ocean, you having pulled close to rescue the loner now learned the tragedy of your mistake: that despite the calm demeanor, a person is still capable of ripping apart a titanium boat to shreds. What entices me is that you wished to be split open, as you knew your vessel contained precious cargo... Yet the initial damage inflicted by tearing apart the vessel rendered it incapable of floatation, which resulted in the treasure sinking and you realizing the person was not human, but a creature that thrived off the mercy of venturers such as you. But, the creature made the decision to linger among the debris.. and you, as the victim in need of help, only look upon the one responsible with indifference, hence the deep breath. Perhaps you expected it because you ventured so cluelessly into dangerous waters.. or perhaps you expected retribution for past sins. How compelling.. How enticing.. How poignant.. I quite enjoyed this, and the complex tale told in between the lines of the poem.

[Frieda P]

I quite enjoyed reading your review Tai...always a pleasure to have you on my page.

[Dr. Wood ?]

far too clever for me really....THat is not a BAD thing...Nothing you write ever is...My simple mind sort of sits on the edge and admires your expertise

[Frieda P]

Not sure where that edge is, but thanks doc.....

[Dr. Wood ?]

It is JUST out of sight......But I'm there

[AYVID N]

There's a lot of emotion and all of it expressed beautifully. I really like the novel imagery -

you submerged yourself
a warm bubble'd spot in my heart" and "this chambered heart is made of titanium"

Impressive write Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Divya, jazzed you see you back, grazie mille.

[Tam Warink]

And that in a nutshell describes the problems with e-romance. Nicely captured too I might add, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Tam, and ye speak from experience my good man?

[Tam Warink]

Um, no comment.

[Frieda P]

Ahem, none necessary.....

[Latifa]

very nice poem with load of emotions well penned

[Frieda P]

Thanks for stopping by & your review Latifa.

[writing mojo]

I am glad you surfaced at the end of this piece with the strength and the ability to exhale skills when in life's tread becomes more than an undertone...great piece

[Frieda P]

Sometimes the exhale doesn't come so naturally, thanks mojo.

[ron]

This is a beautiful poem about hardening your heart and then opening it back up and taking a chance.

[Frieda P]

Exactly, thanks ron :-)

[ron]

You are most welcome Frieda.

[OTownPete]

Although I didn't completely glean the message of this piece I did want to let you know that I read it multiple times. Your friend in words, Pete

[Frieda P]

With all your mature writing today, perhaps too much sex on the old noggin Pete, thanks. ;-)

[lee von cleef]

I walked the carnival cruz of life,
Beautiful people beached with the tide,
Head and tailed in a line,
razor edge, mirror life
Compact
Smoking Vodka,
Who thought of that ?
Like Freida to breathe while drowning,
Brilliant Write.

[Frieda P]

I never thought of smoking vodka but now you put the idea in my head lee...thanks luv....

[lee von cleef]

Youth always coming up with a new way to boggle the mind.Lot like you.

[Frieda P]

Ahhh if I were only younger.................

[lee von cleef]

Cut N paste;

It is absorbed directly into the bloodstream and does not go through the digestive tract. This has the advantage of no calories; no carbs, no impurities and the effects of consuming alcohol are immediately felt, making it easier to responsibly imbibe. Unlike traditional consumption of spirits, Vaportinis give more control, shortly after exhaling all of the effects of the alcohol consumed are felt. In contrast, it takes 20 to 30 minutes to feel the full effects of spirits that are swallowed.

[Cassie]

I'll be the first to admit, still waters run deep...that is so true.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sunshine...

[David Scott]

"the nature of drowning's decent gingerly takes another breath"
I think this line wraps the thought well.
The contrast of being drowned and still somehow "breathing"... I have a loose and poorly developed idea for a book about this very thing in a more sci-fi slant, but the philosophical intent is the same.

I also like the lines about how the waters seemed to have carried away all warm blooded survivors... It give the reader a great sense of the emotion.

This is very strong poetry Frieda. IMO... ;)
Have a great day!

[Frieda P]

Sci-fi drowning, sounds interesting Scott, thanks so much for your in depth thoughts here. I see what mood you picked for today, I like it. :-)

[David Scott]

Well, I'm trying. It does not always work to let the mood pick me. ;)

[Frieda P]

Yes I understand, I have to change out of my crankypants regularly. ;-)