Survivors astray in the ocean, you having pulled close to rescue the loner now learned the tragedy of your mistake: that despite the calm demeanor, a person is still capable of ripping apart a titanium boat to shreds. What entices me is that you wished to be split open, as you knew your vessel contained precious cargo... Yet the initial damage inflicted by tearing apart the vessel rendered it incapable of floatation, which resulted in the treasure sinking and you realizing the person was not human, but a creature that thrived off the mercy of venturers such as you. But, the creature made the decision to linger among the debris.. and you, as the victim in need of help, only look upon the one responsible with indifference, hence the deep breath. Perhaps you expected it because you ventured so cluelessly into dangerous waters.. or perhaps you expected retribution for past sins. How compelling.. How enticing.. How poignant.. I quite enjoyed this, and the complex tale told in between the lines of the poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I quite enjoyed reading your review Tai...always a pleasure to have you on my page.
It's very intriguing when they stick around. You want to investigate further, but a part of you would almost rather remain in the dark, so as not to get disappointed.
Very beautiful and sad, but thoughtful and perceptive too. You explore the twisting, tortured paths of human emotion and tragedy so expertly with empathetic, expert, lyrical verse. It is stunning.
Survivors astray in the ocean, you having pulled close to rescue the loner now learned the tragedy of your mistake: that despite the calm demeanor, a person is still capable of ripping apart a titanium boat to shreds. What entices me is that you wished to be split open, as you knew your vessel contained precious cargo... Yet the initial damage inflicted by tearing apart the vessel rendered it incapable of floatation, which resulted in the treasure sinking and you realizing the person was not human, but a creature that thrived off the mercy of venturers such as you. But, the creature made the decision to linger among the debris.. and you, as the victim in need of help, only look upon the one responsible with indifference, hence the deep breath. Perhaps you expected it because you ventured so cluelessly into dangerous waters.. or perhaps you expected retribution for past sins. How compelling.. How enticing.. How poignant.. I quite enjoyed this, and the complex tale told in between the lines of the poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I quite enjoyed reading your review Tai...always a pleasure to have you on my page.
This is brilliant, a perfect poem really. I wish I wrote like this. Phenomenal work here my dear, I don't even have a review for it. Everyone has pretty much covered everything ;P
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'll take it Benji, thanks so much my sweet friend. :-)
Perhaps a cool exterior but break the surface if you dare and within the deep chasms, somewhere if you persevere, you'll find a warm, forgiving heart !
Deep and soulfully penned with no frills attached, splendid Frieda !
Frieda, You never cease to amaze me with the beauty of your poetry. You have touched my heart again with a stunning poem - so many lines worth remembering - this is going in my favorites.
:) Julie
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Oh thanks so much for both Julie, muchly appreciated. :-)
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..