Running in the rain...

I can't see through my heart,

as I watched my resolution's stare

blindly running against the rain

 to disguise my own teardrops, 

trying to avoid your blustery glare

Ended on a sinister cloud creation,

 I tried to breathe/ 

       whilst I gingerly swallowed, 

I found you stuck there

rasping ambiguous, 

nothing could dislodge 

the abrasive taste, 

             my own voice stifled by regret, 

 started out a tempered,

            genesis love song...

 I wanted to believe that it was true

    you placed your raucous sword

        upon my breast, cut me deeply,

       leaving scars,         apparent 

         you craved the bloodstains

        resonating in my chest

...I wavered in the hailing discontent,

 afraid to leave, afraid to stay, 

was a little sliver of Heaven

 with a lot of Hell to pay

I lost my way, only the pouring rain

   understood exactly what to say...

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This certainly describes the way people often get into a relationship then acquiesce and make the most of it, searching all the while for that sliver of hope the rteason to keep hanging on bourne of our own feelings that we can make it work or that this is as good as it gets. Well penned my Lady!

[Frieda P]

You know it John, and lovely to see your face again. ;-) Thanks so much!

[redzone]

it is easy for us who read others stories, whether in poetry or otherwise to come to conclusions.. "you should have.." etc etc etc. but for those who are within the bounds of a relationship, it is often harder to know what is going on, what to do.... more so for women I think than men who more often are the cause for such pain... your poem not only is artistically done, that is, is alive with the colors of this pain (rain?) but also allows those who read see and feel the consequences of the hurt caused... the blood spilled by this "sword"... and in doing so, perhaps helps others to not be injured and can escape more quickly... Frieda, thanks for sharing and hope the wounds have healed.. ~~redzone

[Rita L. Sev]

I lost my way, only the pouring rain
understood exactly what to say...

When the one we trust takes it all away, it's as if we require a rebirth, a new baptism of downpour and white noise, with no judgement. A powerful write of the moment before - starting over. Excellent, Frieda.

[s y e]

"I found you stuck there
rasping ambiguous,
nothing could dislodge
the abrasive taste,"

-- this is the perfect description of the way people get into a relationship and attempted to make the most of it. A very passionate write.

[Blank]

So many times in my life I've heard the phrase, "set your boundaries"... how easy of a concept it is, and yet how hard it is to keep.

"as I watched my resolution's stare
blindly running against the rain"

"...I wavered in the hailing discontent,
afraid to leave, afraid to stay,
was a little sliver of Heaven
with a lot of Hell to pay"

These lines in particular struck me as being incredibly powerful. It's so hard to know when to say enough - when to walk away, or whether to stay for one more go... and in those moments the deafening sound of the rain and the cleansing of downpour can be a persons best friend.

Thanks for sharing.

[Frieda P]

Exactly, much easier said than done, especially when you've invested your heart, thanks so much for your insightful review V.C.

[Ruth]

Your poetry gives me hope you know...it makes the reader realise they are not alone...gentle and beautiful...as always, stunning hon x

[Frieda P]

Never alone Poppy, we think our problems are unique to us, I think that's the best part about poetry, you realize, we all share in the joys and difficulties of life, thanks dear. xo

[00000000000000000000000..]

That's deep! Very deep sounds pretty tough at that. Its no fun feeling that way:( Picture went very well but seeing something strange idk its me but looks like a thumb print where the woman stands in a shadow. Ahh may be me. Anything remains to be seen theses days. Thanks for sharing your heart:)

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Jon, not sure what you mean....maybe your your computer screen needs to be cleaned ;-)

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Naw I swear it not pulling ur leg screen is fine, But your welcome.

[Frieda P]

You still see it, maybe I need glasses ;-)

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Ask every1 to focus rite in the chest of the shadow lady and tell me they don't see a finger print its there im serious . I took and blowed it up big to small and you can really see it than. Just ask I promise,I may not be good in words but I can see.

[Frieda P]

I think you've been staring at her chest way too long Jon hahah ;-)

[Pryde Foltz]

I lost my way, only the pouring rain
understood exactly what to say...

Oh those words said in anger ... if only.

A passionate write about a passionate relationship. A really powerful write.

[Frieda P]

Lovin' all the P words Pryde, thanks muchly :-)

[Lydia Shutter]

Monumentally emotional words. I felt the pain of broken trust, the hurt of regret, the disbelief that someone you loved could do such a thing. The rain can disguise the teardrops for the outside world, but the pain in your heart is not so easily disguised. This one packs an emotional punch. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

Exactly Lydi, you must know this scenario, thanks so much.....

[Lydia Shutter]

Unfortunately, all too well, Frieda.

[David Scott]

I should know better than to read your poetry when I need to get home from the office... You give me great pause.
I wonder who this is stuck in your throat. Who has lashed out and cut your very being with a crushing blow? There was a Heaven... Now a Hell the rain attempts to cool.
Walking in the rain has always been something I enjoy, but here I see a desperation and an attempt to escape. Run! Yet there is comfort in knowing you will never outrun the raindrops.
You capture the pain and bottle it up like Patrone... Now I just need some salt and a lime.

[Frieda P]

Ha I absolutely adore this review Scott... Cheers my sweet friend! ;-)