I Hold My Breath

~A mother's plea~

You drag us all through bloody hell

black tar's needle zaps your resolve

pricks us all in its firm intentions

tarnishing all hopes and dreams

there once a little boy, wide-eyed

ready to take on the universe

world dissolved in that first attempt 

took flight over worrisome realities

plummeted depths in a flash

rapid fall into 

abysmal

 bleakness 

weaken monkey's shadow manic unrest

 fixation crushes gray matter's cover

how far down does hell darkly reach

before it's reduced to instant last call

I cannot breathe through your smoky vapors

crash & burn the cruelest of options

nature's nurture versus alchemy's warfare

a million tears can't extinguish the fires

these mother's eyes can't watch you implode,

after I safely carried you, gave you first breath 

Author's Note

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

When I read my RRs I try to start from the bottom (oldest) and work my way up the list, but I saw the comment for this one and I knew I had to make an exception here...being male, I will never truly understand the psyches of motherhood, but you've brought me as close as I could ever hope to get here...it's impossible to overlook this mixing bowl of frustration, concern, care and remembrance...and that song...this is one of the best you've done dear friend...you're already aware of the worry and concern I carry around for both of you, so I won't get too emphatic about that here, but you know...xo

[Frieda P]

Wondering why I can't respond to your review then realized it's featured, thanks so much for your kind words Steve, you're always a constant comfort and a good friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

As I always say, you know I'm glad to help in any little way I can...and you know those feelings are mutual :) xo

[Frieda P]

Okay good, I just bought him a ticket for Nova Scotia, he'll love your record collection ;-P xo

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha right on, just let him know they're not for sale ;P xo

[OTownPete]

Losing a child to a narcotic haze is tantamount to losing them to a drunken driver...different result but same internal anquish. Your friend in words, Pete

[Frieda P]

"Internal anguish' exactly right Pete, thanks so much.

[redflutterby]

There's not a parent in this world who's safe from this. No matter the age of your children or the love you've given them that devil may come to your door. How will handle it is anyone's guess. Its easy to say we will do this or that but when your in the midst of it those things may not fly. I've watched you live this for months and my heart goes up and down with yours. Really there's nothing else I can do for you but sit beside you...grip your hand and hope the ride will end well. Based on what I've seen on WC...you're going to need some extra hands. Because so many are reaching out to be there...even just for a few moments to say you and Ian are not alone. It may not need to be said...but you have all my love and heart with you. Always..xo

[Frieda P]

Thanks Red, always appreciate your kind words and your friendship means a lot to me, muchly appreciated...always xo

[lee von cleef]

Cut and paste, probably not proper in the Cafe, but gives a window, to Neil Young.

A recording of the song from 1971 was part of the 2007 album Live at Massey Hall 1971. The album captured Young's introduction of his song thus:

Ever since I left Canada, about five years ago or so... and moved down south... found out a lot of things that I didn't know when I left. Some of 'em are good, and some of 'em are bad. Got to see a lot of great musicians before they happened... before they became famous... y'know, when they were just gigging. Five and six sets a night... things like that. And I got to see a lot of, um, great musicians who nobody ever got to see. For one reason or another. But... strangely enough, the real good ones... that you never got to see was... 'cause of, ahhm, heroin. An' that started happening over an' over. Then it happened to someone that everyone knew about. So I just wrote a little song.


I sing the song
Because I love the man
I know that some
Of you don't understand
Milk-blood
To keep from running out.

( Simple )

[Frieda P]

I think anything goes in the cafe, thank you for sharing this lee...

[ron]

This is sad. I agree with Rose that children don realize until its to late some times.

[Frieda P]

Thanks ron, muchly appreciated.

[ron]

Your welcome

[lee von cleef]

"the abyss full of darker demoniacs" and "a million tears can't extinguish the fires" O K this poem is on the steps of your heart, so I will try not to be the flaky reviewer I am usually.Because to me this poem walks with reality,palpates the pain, wants to reveal a mothers love,the two lines above detract from the simple purity the rest holds. This Devils world we live in is full of snares( and I have researched several of them personally) Play with the line some see if you can maintain the wordings meaning using other words besides "Abyss" and "Demoniacs" I think the poem will carry its flavor better. The next line" a million tears can't extinguish the fires" is too common when compared to some of your better poems and this if not one of your better ones sure has the potential to be close to your hearts best.

[Frieda P]

As I said lee, this one kind of wrote itself, just had to purge it in that instant or it was going to cause damage, thanks for your input and gracious thoughts....

[SyberRose]

A sad one Frieda...nothing like a mothers love...but children don't realize that until it's too late...The agonies of being a mother...Rose

[Frieda P]

When they say toughest job in the world, they ain't kidding, thanks Rose.

[Justaguy]

Yeah, and the worst part is feeling powerless to change things...

[Frieda P]

Well that's not the worst part, but it sure feels like hell, thanks Ron...