I Hold My Breath

~A mother's plea~

You drag us all through bloody hell

black tar's needle zaps your resolve

pricks us all in its firm intentions

tarnishing all hopes and dreams

there once a little boy, wide-eyed

ready to take on the universe

world dissolved in that first attempt 

took flight over worrisome realities

plummeted depths in a flash

rapid fall into 

abysmal

 bleakness 

weaken monkey's shadow manic unrest

 fixation crushes gray matter's cover

how far down does hell darkly reach

before it's reduced to instant last call

I cannot breathe through your smoky vapors

crash & burn the cruelest of options

nature's nurture versus alchemy's warfare

a million tears can't extinguish the fires

these mother's eyes can't watch you implode,

after I safely carried you, gave you first breath 

Author's Note

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

When I read my RRs I try to start from the bottom (oldest) and work my way up the list, but I saw the comment for this one and I knew I had to make an exception here...being male, I will never truly understand the psyches of motherhood, but you've brought me as close as I could ever hope to get here...it's impossible to overlook this mixing bowl of frustration, concern, care and remembrance...and that song...this is one of the best you've done dear friend...you're already aware of the worry and concern I carry around for both of you, so I won't get too emphatic about that here, but you know...xo

[Frieda P]

Wondering why I can't respond to your review then realized it's featured, thanks so much for your kind words Steve, you're always a constant comfort and a good friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

As I always say, you know I'm glad to help in any little way I can...and you know those feelings are mutual :) xo

[Frieda P]

Okay good, I just bought him a ticket for Nova Scotia, he'll love your record collection ;-P xo

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha right on, just let him know they're not for sale ;P xo

[TL Boehm]

this is such an Oh My God. poem. Does that make sense? I'm a mom. sometimes all I can articulate is OH. MY. God.

[s y e]

This is such a heart breaking write, Frieda -- A mother has a close bond to her child from even before the baby was born, from when it was inside you but sometimes that's not how it works out. Some kids don't have that strong bond with their parent(s) that they should do. They don't have the parents who are there to support them and help them through the hard times in life. It's sad really.

"how far down does hell darkly reach
before it's reduced to instant last call
I cannot breathe through your smoky vapors"

-- Such powerful lines here, it gave me goosebumps. The hurt in those words, the betrayal and the frustration in this write. But most importantly the care. The love from a mother is forever and always, no matter what happens you won't love your child any less. You know you're in my thoughts... you both are.

xoxo

[Tom]

A mother's love for her child is a universally strong bond that never wanes from birth and onwards through into adulthood, to be cherished and respected without equivocation whatsoever!

Bravo once more Frieda, a stoic write penned great poetic nous!

[Siren]

"how far down does hell darkly reach
before it's reduced to instant last call...
nature's nurture versus alchemy's warfare"

chilling words, those lines. but the despair, the hurt, the wonder, the rage....the love. above all, the love. mothers are beautiful and incredible women indeed, and we are all indebted to one. a great write with volumes of perspective and emotion that will make anyone appreciate and be mindful of the marvelous task of mothering. fantastic.

[Jack...]

Don't know how I missed this one. Maybe my tear filled eyes couldn't read it on the day it was posted. Maybe I read it and was going to come back and leave a review, but sorrow clouded my mind. Maybe this feeling breaks my heart and I could not bear to come back. Maybe I wasn't being a good friend. Anyway you look at it I am glad I found this again because I always want to be a good friend. I want you to know Frieda that if I could I would change the world so that this poem was never in need of being written. And maybe I'm just sad because I can't.

So deeply touching my sweet friend.

[Blank]

What a hard subject. It's devastating being in a relationship with an addict, it's enough to drive even the most rational of people insane, I can not imagine what it would be like if that relationship were with my daughter, I hope to never find out.

You've beautifully put into words that chaos of emotions and thoughts that plague you every waking moment when your involved with addiction.

Touching and wonderfully written.

[Frieda P]

Thank you V. C. much appreciate your thoughts here.

[Tai Ryens]

How shockingly horrid, I believed this to be about a lover at first. Well done.

[Frieda P]

Thank you Tai, yes it is...

[Ohhhwillow]

Frieda, the more I read from you, the more I come to appreciate your strength. As a poet you have your release from life in literature, as I have mine. (Although I did not always.) If only we could bestow upon our loved ones the same harmony, to draw them from struggle.. To create once more platinum wings. I will never appreciate fully what my mother has done for me, particularly as I struggled with addiction.. I suppose we all take nurturing for granted. My thoughts are with you and your family beautiful Frieda, may "natures nurture" dissolve the chains of crimson clutches. Stay strong friend. x

[Frieda P]

What a lovely thing to say Willow, so appreciate your thoughts and support here my friend x

[Michael G. Smith]

You brought those devastating feelings to life. The chemical youth, I myself was hooked on cocaine in my younger years. Fortunately, I found strength to beat the dragon.

[Frieda P]

Hopefully he can beat his dragons also, thanks M.G.

[emmajoy]

Love is birth, is giving life, is protecting that life .. is forever - whatever. Your words are .. unforgettable.

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille sweet petulia...your words are always a comfort my friend.