PITY Party

It's my party & you're ALL invited...

You are cordially invited to my pity party

dress is casual cranky, bring your own gripes & woes

champagne cocktails to catch paltry tears

~self loathing served by the glass only~

games & hors d'oeuvres will be served too

first choice is Amuse-bouche, you get two bites

with your whine and crabby dip

canapes for all the pissing couch potatoes

pigs in a blanket if you got caught

spicy hot wings if you lost the plot 

shrimp toast if you don't have a backbone

fried oysters if your sex life has tanked

tongue toast for those that can't keep a secret

deviled eggs if you don't give a flying fork

fried dumplings if you're full of yourself

crudités if you're stuck with an annoying vegan

the coldest cuts if your heart can't warm up

caviar if you need to sink or shut the fook up

Spanakopita if you're getting it Greek style

Name tags will be issued for all snippy crankypants

Complaints are taken in the order of importance,

cheesy cake will round it all out

if you haven't yet said 'CHEERS' 

that can only mean you're still bitchin' & complainin',

tag, you're it,  you get to clean up this bloody mess

Author's Note

Reviews

[Angi]

Biatch. Don't you know I have my period and a headache. I am out of GD wine and my husband ate the reece cups I had stashed in the frickin freezer. Gaaa. Biatches and their damn pity parties! You know what?! YOU know WHAT?! I flippin' love this poem and that just pisses me the hell off. Carry on and good day. Sheesh. Love, Angi~

[Frieda P]

Haha laughing here, thanks for the shytes & giggles, I'll save you some cheesy cake!

[Angi]

Ha! Love ya lady. But don't quote me on that. I would have to deny you. * raspberries a'comin'* ;P

[Frieda P]

Ha you making a mess again on my thread with those raspberries again, no whine for you, cheese neither! ;-P

[wordwarrior]

Lol....if you don't give a flying fork...shut the fook uo...lmao! This is sooo funny. Love it! it's so true! I accept the invitation lol I can make any pity party anyone holds. I'm always in that mode!
This really made me giggle! Such clever wording Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Hahaha glad you enjoyed my insanity wordwarrior!

[wordwarrior]

Oh I added this to my favourites! Found out how to do it!

[Frieda P]

Ha ha, thanks.... ;-)

[Rita L. Sev]

Crudités and plenty of whine for me, please - and be sure to have a whambulance on hand... :)
You found some funny today, my friend - and thank you for sharing!

[Frieda P]

Whambulance, why didn't I think of that? Yep, you know we always have to find our funny on these days.....do you want some cheese with your whine?

[Rita L. Sev]

Dairy-free, please - I am one of those annoying vegans! (not really, just veg - but, you know... ) ;)

[Frieda P]

I like you a lot but you're a pain in the tuchus Rita ;-)

[Angel]

Wouldn't you know it...I promised to baby sit that night. Darn kids...they just expect me to do EVERYTHING for them. Over thirty, the baby is...and I STILL can't even take a damme bath without the fookin phone ringing...one of 'em wants something, I just know it. How the h-e-double hockey sticks do they always know when I'm in the tub? I think the brats can smell the bathwater!! And they always seem to know if I've got a buck or two tucked back...sure enough, somebody will need it for something...
Blah...I see my greasy neighbor has parked that pick up of his right under my bedroom window again...sure enough, he'll come out and rev that noisy thing up at two in the morning again. And that sl_tty girlfriend of his, running around with her azz hanging out of her shorts...always gossiping about people she doesn't even know...no respect at all for anyone, these damme kids today...

Uh...

What were you saying, Sweetie??

Oh, yeah...sorry, Hun, I don't think I'll be able to make it. I hope everyone has a good time, though!

[Frieda P]

O.O Ooh you'll fit right in Angel!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I'll make sure to leave a doo doo bag and light it on fire on the front porch...so you can step on it...hehehe...but I do like the font...I can read this one without translating it...first...that was different of a narrative...liked the punch lines you are serving at this function...

[Frieda P]

Hahaha there's always one practical joker...I'm going to put font in your appetizers too, the kind you don't like! ;-)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

THOSE SOUND TASTY...THERE'S ALWAYS PEPTODISMAL FOR THAT...I DO NOT EXPERIENCE HEART BURN BUT I MIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME...HEHEHE...GOOD TO READ YOU...

[Frieda P]

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? ;-p

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I'm actually laughing with you...good night...late here in the Philippines...

[Frieda P]

Buona notte, are you quiet in your sleep at least? ha.....

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I snore like Freddie Flintstone...hehehe...no...I'm quite as a mouse...

[fwvalidus]

This is definitely a unique poem that is slightly quirky and definitely made me laugh a little. Good work

[Frieda P]

Slightly? ha, thanks...

[Emerald Seas]

Haha - this is so funny and original! Love it :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sirrah, do you see what I have to do to stay sane these days? ;-)

[Mark]

I don't think I'm hungry anymore.

[Frieda P]

What no Spanakopita? Sorry, I couldn't resist after our conversation hahaha

[Mark]

hahaha maybe just a taste :P

[Jack...]

What time should I be there...I hope it doesn't go on too late, these things always last for hours and then it is a long drive home and the traffic is so bad and the roads so damn bumpy. And why am I always last to know and I have nothing to wear and a headache....

Very funny my sweet friend

[Frieda P]

Oh gawd, you'll fit right in! hahaaha

[Pryde Foltz]

Tres amusant. I love this irreverent and creative piece. It's a keeper.

[Frieda P]

Ha thanks Pryde, this is what I do on days like these to keep what sanity I have left...

[Pryde Foltz]

Funny, I once had a guy on here accuse me of being the girl at the ball who refuses to dance. I answered with it's my ball and I'll cry if I want to; he then accused me of being insane. And so, you have just written my life story. LMAO.

[Frieda P]

Hahahaha, it's yours to keep, my gift to you.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you.

[Pryde Foltz]

Might need to add some hot nuts to the menu.

[Frieda P]

Anytime Pryde, us insane people have to stick together.............

[Pryde Foltz]

It's okay. I fought back with poets fall into two categories--crazy or boring. I left it to him to choose. Rave on, you raving beauty.

[Frieda P]

Oh sheesh, I'd rather be anything than boring....