PITY Party

It's my party & you're ALL invited...

You are cordially invited to my pity party

dress is casual cranky, bring your own gripes & woes

champagne cocktails to catch paltry tears

~self loathing served by the glass only~

games & hors d'oeuvres will be served too

first choice is Amuse-bouche, you get two bites

with your whine and crabby dip

canapes for all the pissing couch potatoes

pigs in a blanket if you got caught

spicy hot wings if you lost the plot 

shrimp toast if you don't have a backbone

fried oysters if your sex life has tanked

tongue toast for those that can't keep a secret

deviled eggs if you don't give a flying fork

fried dumplings if you're full of yourself

crudités if you're stuck with an annoying vegan

the coldest cuts if your heart can't warm up

caviar if you need to sink or shut the fook up

Spanakopita if you're getting it Greek style

Name tags will be issued for all snippy crankypants

Complaints are taken in the order of importance,

cheesy cake will round it all out

if you haven't yet said 'CHEERS' 

that can only mean you're still bitchin' & complainin',

tag, you're it,  you get to clean up this bloody mess

Author's Note

Reviews

[Angi]

Biatch. Don't you know I have my period and a headache. I am out of GD wine and my husband ate the reece cups I had stashed in the frickin freezer. Gaaa. Biatches and their damn pity parties! You know what?! YOU know WHAT?! I flippin' love this poem and that just pisses me the hell off. Carry on and good day. Sheesh. Love, Angi~

[Frieda P]

Haha laughing here, thanks for the shytes & giggles, I'll save you some cheesy cake!

[Angi]

Ha! Love ya lady. But don't quote me on that. I would have to deny you. * raspberries a'comin'* ;P

[Frieda P]

Ha you making a mess again on my thread with those raspberries again, no whine for you, cheese neither! ;-P

[LJW]

I only tried Spanakopita once. I didn't like it.

[Frieda P]

HAHAHAHAHA

[icelandicblue]

A fun metaphorical smörgåsbord of despair. I think I've lost my appetite. I should eat but I don't... This is really skillfully crafted. A very clever write.

[Frieda P]

Try Greek yogurt smoothies, they go down alright Anne, and I hear you...thanks!

[Mark]

I totally LOVE this! The menu is , as the phrase is these days, "off the hook"! Very appropriate, and funny as hell! Spanakopita? LOL! Very well written!! Love it!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Mark, glad you got a few chuckles out of it, I had a few more, but they were totally inappropriate, so those selections are being served in the closet, thanks for popping in!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'll take some deviled eggs please...because i don't give a....

wonderfully clever how pulled the metaphor through this poem...

like a special guest at the party...

now it's Judy's turn to cry, Judy's turn to cry---cause angst's come back "to me"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Frieda P]

Coming from the master of metaphors that means a lot, I'm getting you an extra plate of those devlish eggs, thanks jacob, and that damn Judy!!

[Stella Armour]

fried oysters please.. a large helping and i don't mind staying 'til the end , i wouldn't want to miss anything..lol

You are so clever and witty, i think this cyber party will be overflowing with guests..

[Frieda P]

Haha Stella, I"ve been on that line, join me in some deviled eggs will ya ;-)

[Stella Armour]

oh yes please....haha

[Rose of Gondor]

lol...cheers. I don't go to pity parties (even if I'm hosting them...) often but this was just too awesome to resist. Sometimes life is just crappy and a pity party can make it all better. This one certainly has. Love this poem, very true and quirky and original.

[Frieda P]

Party pooper lol....thanks so much for your visit & review, party on....

[Rose of Gondor]

lol people like me are too rational to have any fun. Still. Life isn't always sunshine and daisies and THEN I won't be a party pooper.

[Aethereal]

Funny poem full of insight. Love that little personified cloud. There’s always something to be joyful about within each moment for those who seek. If we can’t find love with the one we want, then we must seek love with the one we’re with. Though our Islands-of-Contentment within our Oceans-of-Discontent are small, they are adequate. My pet cat is purrr-fectly content in that she’s not troubled by things that lie outside of her sphere of knowing, and her contentment is contagious.

[Frieda P]

You know cats have attitude problems, so she's not invited, just saying. ;-)

[Aethereal]

My cat thinks that I'm her pet. She was a stray kitten who came to my front door many years ago. I was gonna take her to the animal shelter, but she was so beautiful that I kept her instead. Only those unlucky mice who get in her way think that she has an attitude problem.

[Frieda P]

Ha if she thinks you're her pet, she has an attitude....

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Brilliantly original! Don't say this to often, but I loved it! "Cheers" to you! Hey, where's the table with those fried dumplings I keep hearing about?

[Frieda P]

Says a lot poetic heroics...look me up, I'll be by the deviled eggs...ha ;-)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

They are next on the menu... see you over there. ;)

[Frieda P]

Wear your dancin' shoes with those crankypants ;-)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Didn't plan it any other way.

[annie lee]

Sounds like a hoot. My preferred pity party refreshments are chocolate truffles and Asti Spumante. I also like sleep enhancing drugs and the covers over my head. But after spending four years coping with and then recovering from PTSD, I'm hoping I can avoid that self-indulgence. I love the way you matched conditions to finger food -- very clever. This reminds me of sardonic pieces I have read in The New Yorker. Have you submitted this anywhere?

[Frieda P]

You'll fit right in annie lee, front row seat at least, and you humble me my friend!

[Tate Morgan]

That's funny god that's good

[Frieda P]

Pull up a chair Tate, I can't imagine which tidbit you're going to go for.....thanks!