Anticipation's Rhyme

Anticipation, locked away in my heart

   when love grew old and dreary

     where once upon a time shone vivid light

Your face still haunts my memories

   haltingly beautiful eyes that captivated

    windows to your soul, now darkened with time

Yet, I can't help but think of you & reminisce 

when pensive rain hits my window pane

the sad sounds reminds me of an old rhythm

              when our poetry still rhymed ~

 

We danced in well versed enraptured ecstasy

              and there was no such thing as time

Reviews

[Astro]

The personification of rain was well used to further the sadness and allow for greater impact of those final and very touching thoughts. "our poetry" only a great writer could impart such an all encompassing way to describe a relationship. Well done Frieda, short and sweet.

[Frieda P]

Wow Astro thanks for such a gracious review, muchly appreciated.

[Astro]

Il y a pas de quoi, mon ami!

[Frieda P]

Ah but it was, mon sweet. :-)

[Tai Ryens]

Perhaps sorrow lay beneath the sugarcoated words, for I sight a memory that there was no time when in fact time existed... I envision a lover dying, and the significant other, devastated by the death, recalls such moments in which the world was forgotten..

[Angi]

To be in sync like that is a rare and wondrous thing. There are times when two people just mesh, those are the times that make breathing so easy. This poem was filled with longing for those easy days. 'When our poetry rhymed...' Yes. Angi~

[ANTO]

Like TL I think the line 'when our poetry still rhymed' is quite outstanding. It is a beautiful metaphor Frieda, just beautiful.
Ben Fatto !
X

[Frieda P]

Thanks Anto I'm really thrilled you like this one....grazie mille! x

[TL Boehm]

when our poetry still rhymed. that line alone speaks volumes .

[Frieda P]

Thanks TL...we are driven by our poetry...

[annie lee]

Wonderfully structured scene, beautifully worded -- this evokes a sadness and perhaps a feeling of "rose-colored glasses." Our memories tend to dull the edges of reality. Lovely piece.

[Frieda P]

Yes so true minichinz, they do seem better when they're a bit hazy...thanks so much.

[SteveB]

Thoughtful and whistful. The last two stanzas in particular struck me. Well done Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Steve, glad you enjoyed it.

[Barbara Walker]

Love the structure to this piece. Great subject many can identify with. Love your syntax and the last rhyme scheme fits so well. I like how you incorporated the rhythm and flow of poetry into this piece.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barbara.

[kublakhan27]

An old rhythm when our poetry still rhymed...priceless line...it probably goes without saying that I tapped into this one rather swiftly...I've written this sentiment in my head many times over the years, it never sounded as good as this though...a classic case of the painful poetry bringing out the best in a poet...well done my friend.

[Frieda P]

You humble me my sweet friend, I'm so glad you like this one, it's a fav of mine.....x

[kublakhan27]

And rightfully so :) xo

[Frieda P]

Thanks again, it's not too often we as poets are satisfied with our work, that's what reviews are for. ;-) xo

[kublakhan27]

Oh don't I know that Mrs.R? ;) xo

[Tarry Franck]

Yet, I can't help but think of you & reminisce
when pensive rain hits my window pane
the sad sounds reminds me of an old rhythm
when our poetry still rhymed ~

Fav of the poem but loved the whole...very well written my friend

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Tarry, glad you enjoyed this one.

[Tarry Franck]

My pleasure