Freezer Burn

Promises of

 a magical interlude

forever after

 and all that jazz

your hand caught

 in the cookie jar of lies

that's the way 

lusty treats crumble

you forgot the sugar,

 added salty brine

the lump in my throat 

has been time tested

terminal withdrawal 

of my broken heart

Reviews

[Vikrantsingh]

Wow my favorite track playing - Frozen by Madonna ;)
Well this is very sensible and powerful read Fredia :) loved the composition and narration :)

You test my love
like litmus paper
entwining my soul
to a full halt
took my breath away,
then gave it back
was it the moon
that stole your spirit
or some recipe
of romantic visions
wrestling
Superb Lines :)


Cheers :)
- Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Ahh a Madonna fan, this was her at her best, thanks muchly for this gracious review my sweet friend have missed you! :-)

[Vikrantsingh]

Yes! me too was on break for a week :)
I hope - everyone missed me like you did :D
Well - I wrote one poetry for my come back its sad :(
I hope you will like it :)
- Cheers!
- Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Oi, you came back to make me cry, I will check it out....send hankies!

[Vikrantsingh]

Lmao :P no - never don't cry its just a bad mood swing which stuck me to write this :/

[TL Boehm]

you forgot the sugar, added salty brine. Wow. love that phrase.

[kublakhan27]

Needless to say this is a sad piece...it could be bitter, despondent, resigned, but sad above all...the images you present offer an element of irony, with cookies and sugar set against such an emotionally-charged background...it makes me think of innocence lost, but then you follow it up with a time-tested broken heart and that's when I really started to feel the pain...the second stanza is more direct, with rawer imagery...I suppose the progression of the poem could mirror the aging process...I hope you're feeling better than this piece would suggest, as poignant and brilliantly written as it is :) xo

[redflutterby]

When you catch that hand in the cookie jar slam the lid with all your strength and take off a few fingers!! Or whatever appendage happens to be closest!! Ha... Yes a cold heart will leave you with freezer burn...I've got the scars to prove it. Much better to find a heart filled with warmth...a generous lover who will bring on the right kind of burn! ;-)

[DrD]

Well, you could come and thaw me out. No, that's not throw me out. Anyway, I liked this very much and as usual you are brutal in undressing your emotions. To bad it ends there.

[Frieda P]

Oh my Doc, must be those cool Mexican breezes, you get hotter every day...ha thanks muchly!

[Sami Khalil]

I love this poem and this song of Madonna ( very poetic )( it has some Arabic tunes too at the end ). Love is a bird , she needs to fly . That is awesome . Some beautiful lines in this poem...:)
In my library...:)

[Frieda P]

One of my favorites of hers, I did get that Arabic flavor in this one, thanks muchly Sami, glad you enjoyed this one & thanks muchly for the fav too. :-)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Jack...]

Sad, so very sad that the heart can not feel the warmth of love because that is not what is offered. Sub zero feelings, deep freeze emotions, dark and chilled like a silent winter's night when the only sound that can be heard is the ever fainter beating of her heart as it slows ever colder.

Very cool my sweet friend, you captivate me and always leave me wanting more.

[Rita L. Sev]

your hand caught
in the cookie jar of lies...

Really like this... A sweet-talker believes that he will never get caught. Great analogy here, Frieda - you know how to get your point across in unique ways!

[icelandicblue]

Some hearts never truly feel the warmth of love. They use, abuse and discard others with nary a thought. Perhaps the moon stole their spirit or there never was a spirit there at all. Dark images on a dank day.

[Baby Ricochet]

Some good metaphors here. Good poem frieda

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Baby.