Drink A Toast in My Sake....

Will you forget me if I go

if I should die before I wake

will you drink toasts in my sake

will my name remain upon your lips

Don't dig me a shallow grave

rather spread my spirit to soar

that I might still be free

to float upon the seas

and visit you in your dreams

Remember me fondly as music 

stirs your soul to recall

all the smiles and laughter

we discovered being you and me

those memories always remain alive

Know when you feel the rain upon your face

and the wind hails at your back

whilst the posies dance on zephyrs

& the sun is shining above the clouds

those are reminders I'm  thinking of you

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

Oh my god, I think blue and I drank from the same bottle...I thought you meant the rice wine, too xD Anyway. Holy cats, dude...this is really something. You know you will never be forgotten, but that doesn't mean you should test the theory ;-) Hope things are going better for you (and yours) xoxo

[Frieda P]

In my sake, (rice wine) to my sake, it's all the same, love that you guys went there, cheers & thanks the kimmer! xo

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure, lady xoxo

[kublakhan27]

Are you kidding? You know you will never be forgotten my dear friend...I'm betting there is more to this poem than that though...there is certainly a lot in my mind as this piece continues to sink in...it sounds like something Dad would have said, and the very images you evoke in this piece are comparable to the images I associate with him..."that I might be free to float upon the seas" That line in particular hit me, as I wonder where his nautical journey may have taken him...it's been a long time since I've talked about this...I am sad but strangely comforted at the same time...I hope the sentiments of your friends below have comforted you...this is as heartfelt as poetry gets...you should be proud of this piece.

[Dana Alsamsam]

being an artist, your work will transcend and through your writing you can never be forgotten! with a soul as sweet as yours i doubt your name will ever leave the lips of those you hold close to you. this piece captured that questioning very well. reminded me of a quote i heard a few days ago "they say you die twice. one time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time"

[Vikrantsingh]

Good work dearie Frieda = Better work so no wonder comments will be always positive from me or anyone who read it :P
Loved this ones as well :)
- Singh :)

[TL Boehm]

spread my spirit to soar
that I might still be free
to float upon the seas
and visit you in your dreams

Remember me fondly as music
stirs your soul to recall
Love that part. this is beautiful. So good to have you back!

[Frieda P]

Good to be back T, thanks so much!

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh, I am most certain, lovely Frieda, your written word will remember you well. But stick around, will ya. Lovely write.

[Frieda P]

Much appreciate your sentiments Pryde, thank you.

[Kristin Lee]

This is truly beautiful work, absolutely sad, but truly beautiful. If words could have a sound, it would sound like the melody from a violin, melancholy but resonates in the heart like its meant to be there, a part of you.

[Frieda P]

Love the violin, thanks Kristin.

[Rossen]

Beautiful reminders... cheers to you and to this lovely poem

Rossen~

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Rossen, appeciate the visit.

[Tai Ryens]

One of my favorite portrayals of death has to be the empty fallout of the moment: no macabre or horror or sorrow, just emptiness.
You might argue that this poem speaks not of physical death, but I find my concept friendly with all kinds. In this case: I see the death of a relationship (whether the end was met by a break-up or suicide is beyond me), but I see the hollow husk of the antagonist (how harsh of me!) wishing for your narrating protagonist to return . . . Hence the lingering love and the random thoughts.
What sums this poem up for me was the last line: it's quite chilling in its own way.. Well done.

[Frieda P]

Emptiness is a lot like sorrow Tai, thanks for your thoughts here, always appreciated my friend.

[SteveB]

Lovely and gentle. I enjoyed all of the specifics here.
One quesiton about the structure of the piece. In the first stanza you went for rhyme but not again later in the piece. Was this on purpose or did it just flow out in this manner?

[Frieda P]

I'm the world's worst rhymer, it always feels unnatural and strained to me, so if it rhymes it's purely coincidental Steve, thanks so much!

[s y e]

"Will you forget me if I go
if I should die before I wake
will you drink toasts in my sake
will my name remain upon your lips"

I'll never forget you, ever, ever! This is such a beautiful, touching plea. This is really something, Frifri - it's like she has been locked away and is begging to be free. Wow, such a powerful write.

~ Noodle ~

[Frieda P]

Thanks Noodlebumble, never forget you either my sweet friend! xo