Grinding Monkey Hook

what's left to believe

    when veins have been purged

your pain sticks a needle in my heart

we both bleed

 the same shade of blue

weaving in and out of obsessions hook

 cravings are possessed

 by toxic bags of kick

monkey on your back as a grave marker 

 with self fulfilling prophecy

grinding the music to a deathly tune

 that takes no prisoners 

slept with my eyes open, still 

couldn't save you from the litany that looms

last chapters pen'd in the etchings

 primal guts on tombstones written in original sin

negotiations negligible and non pending

 in contracts of self delusions

tomorrows only suffice to write the legacy, 

 an epitaph of unyielding sorrow

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Oh Frieda,

How I cried when I read this. I felt each and every word. Even in overwhelming pain you are able to grasp those fears and bring them to life, even for the uninitiated. The future has never looked so frightening- especially since futures are so stunted when they only consist of a day at a time.

[Frieda P]

I know exactly how that feels, and what you mean, seems just yesterday they were little guys falling on their knees, and now they're just falling, there's no band-aids for this pain, thanks so much.

[icelandicblue]

My love and hope to you, for both of us.

[Sami Khalil]

"slept with my eyes open, still
couldn't save you from the litany that looms
last chapters pen'd in the etchings
of primal guts on tombstones of original sin
negotiations negligible and non pending
in contracts of self delusions"
Wow. I feel the heart of a mom here begging her child to get back on the right path so she can save him from the tombstone or it could be an ex- beloved one. Powerful and raw feelings in this great write...:)

[Frieda P]

Begging, key word, you'e so right my dear friend.....

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Vikrantsingh]

Good Read and Sorrows, Rejection... Splendid work dear...
Wonderful lines :
when veins have been purged
your pain sticks a needle in my heart
we both bleed
the same shade of blue

Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Thank you Singh, always appreciate seeing you on my page.

[Marie Anzalone]

I think that sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom before you can make the decision of up or sideways. Up is a hard, hard road. But, we both know that. It takes more energy than many of us have to give some days. All we have to hold onto sometimes is hope, and knowing that we will never stop fighting for a future that does not hurt as bad. Not a review, maybe just acknowledgment.

[Frieda P]

How many times can you hit rock bottom I wonder. The hope part is the most difficult some days, I'm a fighter, so I'll never give up but sometimes it does feel fruitless. Thanks for your kind words Marie.

[Marie Anzalone]

we hit it only as ever many time as we have to. Hard as it is to realize that others have their own struggles and demons, that we can only watch, not trust. I know you are a fighter. I think even harder sometimes is continuing to love despite everything. Love is the only thing that ever healed anyone from rock bottom. Fighting and spite only ever get you so far.

[Frieda P]

Love is unquestionable, and I'l fight for my son till the death, not sure how 'spite' came into this...there in none in terms of my child, he's all that I care about in this moment....

[Marie Anzalone]

talking of my own experience, not about your son. I ran on spite for several years until that ran flat out