Grinding Monkey Hook

what's left to believe

    when veins have been purged

your pain sticks a needle in my heart

we both bleed

 the same shade of blue

weaving in and out of obsessions hook

 cravings are possessed

 by toxic bags of kick

monkey on your back as a grave marker 

 with self fulfilling prophecy

grinding the music to a deathly tune

 that takes no prisoners 

slept with my eyes open, still 

couldn't save you from the litany that looms

last chapters pen'd in the etchings

 primal guts on tombstones written in original sin

negotiations negligible and non pending

 in contracts of self delusions

tomorrows only suffice to write the legacy, 

 an epitaph of unyielding sorrow

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Oh Frieda,

How I cried when I read this. I felt each and every word. Even in overwhelming pain you are able to grasp those fears and bring them to life, even for the uninitiated. The future has never looked so frightening- especially since futures are so stunted when they only consist of a day at a time.

[Frieda P]

I know exactly how that feels, and what you mean, seems just yesterday they were little guys falling on their knees, and now they're just falling, there's no band-aids for this pain, thanks so much.

[icelandicblue]

My love and hope to you, for both of us.

[Angel]

I have a grandson in an unmarked grave, and another who will live his life with "foetal alchol syndrome"...one of four who were taken from their mother after she drove her car off a cliff with them inside, nearly killing the oldest... And this barely a year after their father was shot to death...

All due to alcohol
Another kind of addiction, a different deadly obsession...
But I feel your pain, I know the helplessness, the crying in the night, the praying when it seems like the sky is an unyielding sheet of gray metal, and nobody hears...
OH, Frieda, I know....

Your piece here tells it with a beauty and an eloquence I could not ever have managed.
May it touch another heart...and hopefully prevent this tragedy from happening again.

[Frieda P]

Oh my Angel, what a terrible story, we never know what pain other's are dealing with, do we? Thanks so much for sharing....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really sad, you write pain with the best of poets...

excrutiatingly heartbreaking.

[Frieda P]

You truly humble me jacob....

[s y e]

OMG, I was so teary eyed I had to take a minute before I could this. This is such an emotional, powerful write. Your heart just poured onto this page, Frieda. The pain in this write is overwhelming. You've really written this so well that I can see and feel everything. It is honestly so hard to know someone you love or even a friend addicted to drugs.

" that takes no prisoners
slept with my eyes open, still
couldn't save you from the litany that looms
last chapters pen'd in the etchings" ~~ Wow, this was mind blowing.

~ Noodlebumble.

[Frieda P]

Thanks sweetie, I had to actually look back at what I wrote, it just kind of came pouring out.....

[s y e]

Sometimes that's best....

[ANTO]

Frieda I cam here because I saw 'Monkey' and I expected to have a laugh. After reading this poem I felt like crying in unison with you. This scourge of the world as you say 'takes no prisoners' - I feel for you Frieda, I really do.
That you could put pen to paper at all to produce this is testament to your strngth of spirit. You are very brave.
anto

[Frieda P]

I don't feel brave Anto, I feel desperate and exasperated, not much anyone can do, especially me as his mother...this is me screaming and throwing dishes when I lose the plot. Thanks for your kindness.

[ANTO]

Sometimes all we can do is pray Frieda. Please accept mines
X

[Frieda P]

Thanks dear Anto, much appreciated x

[annie lee]

The pain is just as excruciating for those surrounding the desperate victim of addiction. And if the victim takes that horrible escape, the ones left suffer the same excruciating pain now intensified by grief and anger. I read a lot of rage and hurt here. Thank God you can put this so eloquently into a poem and release a little of that internal pressure.

[Frieda P]

Yes it was more or less a volcanic eruption on the page that needed to be released, thanks so much for your kind thoughts here.

[Archangel Gabriel]

Drug addiction can destroy families. Well written.

[Frieda P]

Yes, it can destroy a helluva lot more than that too, thanks Gabe.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You seem to have suffered more than your fair share of fate's shady dealings. But it is what it is and you have the right to live a life free from the guilt of everything. As always a splendid and graphic write.

[Frieda P]

Thanks John, guilt comes with motherhood I think...or it's an Italian Catholic thing, either way I'm screwed it seems...

[Angi]

The pain this piece stabbed me with is so exquisitely sharp, Frieda. Too many fall, too many. Angi~

[Frieda P]

Especially hard when it's so close to home, thanks Angi.

[Pryde Foltz]

I think you capture the irony of drug use perfectly, pleasure 'grinding' one to death and destruction.

[Frieda P]

Yes unfortunately that's the catch...thanks Pryde.

[SyberRose]

Such a terrible thing to be addicted to drugs...and for loved ones to have to witness...and I feel so
bad if you are dealing with this Frieda in your family...my heart goes out to you as my nephew has this problem and I pray he will overcome this addiction....Rose

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts here Rose, much appreciated.