Grinding Monkey Hook

what's left to believe

    when veins have been purged

your pain sticks a needle in my heart

we both bleed

 the same shade of blue

weaving in and out of obsessions hook

 cravings are possessed

 by toxic bags of kick

monkey on your back as a grave marker 

 with self fulfilling prophecy

grinding the music to a deathly tune

 that takes no prisoners 

slept with my eyes open, still 

couldn't save you from the litany that looms

last chapters pen'd in the etchings

 primal guts on tombstones written in original sin

negotiations negligible and non pending

 in contracts of self delusions

tomorrows only suffice to write the legacy, 

 an epitaph of unyielding sorrow

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Oh Frieda,

How I cried when I read this. I felt each and every word. Even in overwhelming pain you are able to grasp those fears and bring them to life, even for the uninitiated. The future has never looked so frightening- especially since futures are so stunted when they only consist of a day at a time.

[Frieda P]

I know exactly how that feels, and what you mean, seems just yesterday they were little guys falling on their knees, and now they're just falling, there's no band-aids for this pain, thanks so much.

[icelandicblue]

My love and hope to you, for both of us.

[Einstein Noodle]

hope you stop and know you are still being read my dear friend Frieda! ;) this poem is so heavy ..with no glimmer of hope ..in reading i don't want the weight of it ... but we are an empathetic group ... and fine friends .. so i take this poem to my heart today and wish you to be ever so finely well ..with peace and joy ..
Gene

[Lyn Anderson]

Sometimes, you just can't write light into a poem, no matter if you want to. A heavy heart, grief, loss, sadness, hopelessness all encompassing. Makes me want to give the bearer of such sorrow a hug.

[Frieda P]

Thanks KL, this is always a tough one to come back to, hug muchly appreciated.

[KeelyJane]

I always love your way with words. You combine words so uniquely, bringing to life clever descriptions and ideologies that always inspire me.
"by toxic bags of kick"
"primal guts on tombstones written in original sin"
Love.

[Barbara Walker]

Whoa and wow, I am speechless. I think you did this to me once before...

[Dana Alsamsam]

the pain and fear for someone close to you is palpable in this dark piece. the people that we care about always carry the heaviest weight on our lives, and you've shown that very clearly here! i really like this piece :)

[DCT ponderings]

Whoa! Frieda this was an incredible (poor word choice for the topic) description of addiction and it's effects. I have always said addiction is simply Russian roulette. Go ahead and keep playing but know at some point you will lose. This is very intimately written.

monkey on your back as a grave marker
with self fulfilling prophecy
grinding the music to a deathly tune
that takes no prisoners

[shallimarRose]

Oh my gosh Frieda... this is one of those poems that you can feel running through your veins as you read... The word usage and metaphor very strong.. loved it..

[Astro]

Quite possibly my favorite of your writes Frieda. I loved it. I oozes "blue" in many shades and its lines of tragic effect leave sad white roses boiling in a spoon, as my mind waited for another taste. Awesome.

[Kristin Lee]

This piece really hit home Frieda. I've yet to cry since I got my latest medical news and this piece almost did me in. Such tragic beauty in your words. The monkey on your back, marking your grave...its both a cuddly friend and a sad reminder of the inevitable. Very well done.

[eglantine]

Lots of raw imagery here, but too many "of"'s. Thanks for sharing!