The Drowning Pool

drowning in emotions of deceit & despair

  you waded in taking chance we'd go under

       held my head til tiny bubbles appeared

i swallowed heart not to feel the pain

   rushing  inhales made it hard to see

    through the dizzying whirlpool of  twisted lies

          your guilt burnt my fused eyelids

i dove in the deep end of abstract remission

   only to drown in your bawdy transgressions

         truth surfaced to find a lifeless repose

            repast held without honor of mourning

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed

        just an empty casket that encased your heart

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Our relationships are strange. Karina pointed out to me recently that because of my low opinion of myself I have allowed myself to get into relationships that were not healthy just because I was grateful someone cared. Maybe this is too common? As always a crafted free verse piece.

[Frieda P]

You, a low opinion of yourself? I find that hard to believe John.....thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Strange how we come over to others and how we use mental defence mechanisms to swim through the swamp!

[Einstein Noodle]

brutal.
wishing you love and peace
E.

[Frieda P]

Thanks E, same to you my friend.

[Angel]

I just want to bring you home, and feed you chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven, with a glass of cold milk...or maybe some home made ice cream.
That was my Gramma's answer whenever one of her babies had been hurt...maybe it didn't really help the reason for the hurt...
But it never made it worse, either!!

Of course, all of her grandkids grew up a little on the heavy side...but very, very happy...

Beautiful poem...very elegantly done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Milk! For heavens sake Angel it has to be better than milk!

[Angel]

Ummmmm.....a milkshake, then?? Chocolate malted??

[Angel]

After all, I am a grandmother, you know

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok throw in a little brandy?

[Angel]

*gasp* BRANDY?????



In that case, we'd better make it an eggnog...

[Frieda P]

I'll take the warm chocolate chip cookies and the brandy, thank you very much Angel....leave it to John to bargain for something more....!

[Angel]

*rolls eyes*
Sure...who wants to go to the liquor store for poor old Granny?????

[Frieda P]

Hahaha did you roll your eyes at moi? That's my job...now I totally get it!

[Zahra]

as usual you've presented emotions eloquently in this piece, sad and beautiful.

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille............

[Jack...]

The sadness is most evident in this poem today my sweet friend. Where I always long to see your smile I am greeted by a frown or even a blank stare, questioning why, why must it be like this? Why do I stick my toe in the water to test it and find that it feels pretty good only to dive in and be bitten once again by something which transforms below the surface? Why do I even swim anymore? This poem brought me pain this morning. I sit staring east at what is a beautiful sunrise but can see the clouds looming in the shadows. Your poetry always touches me, in some form or fashion, and this piece is no different as it ripped at my heart and pulled my emotions to the front of the page. Frieda, you are one of a kind and always amaze me.

[Frieda P]

As always you humble me with your praise Jack, thanks my friend.

[Pete Langley]

This piece is a deep plunge into despair and I hope it helped you to write it, because it is very hard for me to read without wanting to just give you a hug. P.

[Frieda P]

I'll definitely take you up on that hug Sweet P, thanks so much.