The Drowning Pool

drowning in emotions of deceit & despair

  you waded in taking chance we'd go under

       held my head til tiny bubbles appeared

i swallowed heart not to feel the pain

   rushing  inhales made it hard to see

    through the dizzying whirlpool of  twisted lies

          your guilt burnt my fused eyelids

i dove in the deep end of abstract remission

   only to drown in your bawdy transgressions

         truth surfaced to find a lifeless repose

            repast held without honor of mourning

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed

        just an empty casket that encased your heart

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Our relationships are strange. Karina pointed out to me recently that because of my low opinion of myself I have allowed myself to get into relationships that were not healthy just because I was grateful someone cared. Maybe this is too common? As always a crafted free verse piece.

[Frieda P]

You, a low opinion of yourself? I find that hard to believe John.....thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Strange how we come over to others and how we use mental defence mechanisms to swim through the swamp!

[annie lee]

Another wrenching poem about grief and pain. These last lines:

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed
just an empty casket that encased your heart


were a powerful final statement. Again rich language and images grip the reader.

[Frieda P]

Thank you 2minichinz, always a pleasure to see you on my page.

[Archangel Gabriel]

It appears you are in a negative balance right now with deeply distressing emotions to the fore. However portrayed in stunning words.

[Frieda P]

Negative balance, hmmm...nice way to put it Gabe!

[Archangel Gabriel]

How would you put it Freida?

[Frieda P]

You don't really want to know Gabriel. :-)

[Baby Ricochet]

Some good metaphors. Great job Frieda

[Frieda P]

Grazie Baby...

[Emily B]

i saw somewhere that depression feels like drowning, while watching everybody around you breathe . . . i am sorry for your grief, if i could take it off your shoulders i certainly would

[Frieda P]

Wow, that sounds about right Emily, thanks....

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Some vividly fierce descriptions that metaphorically depict just how another person's negative actions can drag down someone high on life.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Dale, always love to hear your take on it....cheers, hope you're relaxing today.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

That is about all I am doing... you are welcome.

[Frieda P]

Good on you Dale....

[Dr. Wood ?]

another masterpiece Frieda.....have you got an army of Elves writing these for you overnight..all slaving away in the dark basement of your house?????

[Frieda P]

Yes, a slew of tiny minions at my beck & call sir :-)

[Dr. Wood ?]

well tell them they are all geniuses....from Me

[Sami Khalil]

Life and love can be all those things and you portrayed it marvelously...All good lines to quote...:)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sami, another new avatar I see :-)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep . Another look . You are welcome...:)

[Just Kim]

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed
just an empty casket that encased your heart

Loved this part, such depth and sadness.
Nicely expressed : )

[Frieda P]

Glad you enjoyed sprinkles :-)

[SyberRose]

a very sad heartfelt poem but always nicely crafted...hugss...Rose

[Frieda P]

Thank you Rose, hope you're enjoying your holiday.