The Drowning Pool

drowning in emotions of deceit & despair

  you waded in taking chance we'd go under

       held my head til tiny bubbles appeared

i swallowed heart not to feel the pain

   rushing  inhales made it hard to see

    through the dizzying whirlpool of  twisted lies

          your guilt burnt my fused eyelids

i dove in the deep end of abstract remission

   only to drown in your bawdy transgressions

         truth surfaced to find a lifeless repose

            repast held without honor of mourning

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed

        just an empty casket that encased your heart

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Our relationships are strange. Karina pointed out to me recently that because of my low opinion of myself I have allowed myself to get into relationships that were not healthy just because I was grateful someone cared. Maybe this is too common? As always a crafted free verse piece.

[Frieda P]

You, a low opinion of yourself? I find that hard to believe John.....thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Strange how we come over to others and how we use mental defence mechanisms to swim through the swamp!

[Shweta Singh]

I wonder how can you pen such heart rending emotion, leap by leap!I'm really running short of words how deeply I can connect with it,to be precise,with every single line..I read it so many times to drown myself in it...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it is so sad when there is no closure...there is sadness in death, and a double sadness when we note that person was so unhappy, and lived a life of lies and deceit...died with no fanfare..barely a whisper of sadness from others...

no tear shed.

this one tears at the guts of the reader...but then, you tend to do that when you write your darker pieces.

jacob

[s y e]

Wow, hon ~ the pain is so clear in this write, it's a very emotional write. The damage has already been done, and sometimes you can't forgive them, what they done was too bad. Or on the odd occasion, if you do forgive them you won't forget what they put you through.

"there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed
just an empty casket that encased your heart" ~~ Your last two lines are heart wrenching. A really tough write, I bet and a tough, emotional read.

Stay strong, Frifri ~ you're a strong woman.

~ noodlebumble xox

[Leandro Mendez]

aahh the pain, lies and guilt... well penned the few features that hold us back

[Kristin Lee]

Oh my, your last sentence was heart stopping. Very beautiful.

[icelandicblue]

I am so saddened by your poem. You write of such pain without end, without closure, without hope. I feel this one deep in my soul Frieda. It written in your beautiful style but it is gut wrenching. There is just too much suffering to go around.

[Annabelle Lee]

My my, Frieda. Less airy and romantic these days?

[kublakhan27]

There is a lot of drowning going on here, and a lot of emptiness...I love the last four lines...the damage has already been done by the time the truth rises to the surface...this is a haunting piece on so many levels...just remember that not everyone's heart is so corrupted, even though it may feel like it at times...this is a profound and poignant piece my dear, well done.

[SteveB]

Strong, vivid images. A metaphor continued throughout. Raw emotion expressed with elegance. What more can one ask for?

[TL Boehm]

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed
just an empty casket that encased your heart

Standing O.