~ Trace Antiquity

aimless wanderers looking for

            the sound of thunder

    metallic machinery in tow,

          baggage of decayed swatches

seeking answers

           to ancient history's secrets

       zeppelin's wail as background 

                    incessant blares

        only to be forgotten by and by

              in wastelands's echo

chants of achromatic cerebral

                      mystic channels

          passing random moonbeams

                      taunting implosion

toppling 

         disconcerted,

                    darting 

                            to

                              earth

                                    in

                                      cobalt

                                             bolts

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

It sounds like you are describing humanity's past and its history of antiquity with its thunder or decay times where mythical creatures wail in the background and all the efforts are wasted in the wastelands...
A very different from all your writes but I like it a lot...Well done...:)

[Frieda P]

Ha don't want to become predictable my friend, I really love this intriguing review, thanks so much Sami.... :-)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...........:)

[Frieda P]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahahaha........................:)

[eglantine]

Very surreal, sci-fy type poem. Reminded me of the movie, Thor as well. While I am a huge fan of descriptive language, there is an over-abundance in this one. Try to tighten it up a bit :)

[Frieda P]

Interesting take here, thanks for your thoughts eglantine.

[ANTO]

I havent felt this way since I watched 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind' for the first time. I had to watch it again and again because it was speaking to my soul and Im glad I did because it is like an old friend to me now and it lifts me when Im down. Im sure 'Trace Antiquity' will be the same Frieda P.
X

[Frieda P]

Wow Antnee, thanks for this glowing review, much appreciated. Never caught that flick will have to check it out now....xo

[ANTO]

Then Im sure we will have a mutual celluloid 'friend' Frieda.
YVW
X

[Frieda P]

Ha not another flammable one I hope, thanks now I'm really intrigued!

[Rita L. Sev]

I love the way you "bookend" the imagery here, with thunder and lightening. I'm puzzling over this:
baggage of decayed swatches
seeking answers
to ancient history's secrets

Pieces of the past, incomplete and unreadable; try as we might, we will never know full truth...

You got my brain going this morning, Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Ha I'm jealous you're off school so I thought I'd task your brain Rita, thanks so much!

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Keep 'em coming - it's good for me! :)

[Frieda P]

I'll inform the muse! :-)

[SyberRose]

Wow How creative...a bolt of lightning to me...and I love that painting too...Nice presentation frieda:)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Rose, glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the Wow :-)

[Pete Langley]

I love this!!....not an easy unravel, this one, Frieda, but a juicy fruit of a poem! This could be about storms or stormchasers, arguers or archeologists! In any case, great entertainment for me. P.

[Frieda P]

Pete my love you just made my day, perhaps my week. Something that fell out of my head onto my pen, wasn't sure if it would make sense but then again I like keeping you on your toes! I'm humbled, thanks so much.