~Poetry's Whimsy~

I thought I had dreamt you

you appeared out of  filtering light

as though you could read my mind

you asked me to dance

violins were playing a vibrant tango

you glided me across the floor

as if two entangled butterflies

floating on air

caught my breath in a whisper

no words could escape

we spoke with our eyes

melting into each other's hearts

I felt a zephyr blow my hair

realized you had placed wildflowers there

I found you in poetry's machinations,

   endearingly perpetuating my capricious whimsy

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"I felt a zephyr blow my hair
realized you had placed wildflowers there

I found you in poetry's machinations,
endearingly perpetuating my capricious whimsy"
This poem is like flowing on the air , dancing in the meadows , soaring above the clouds. You perpetuate the dance of life within all the distractions and noises...:)

[Frieda P]

Wow Sami, what a lovely review, thanks so much, you've brought the end of day to a close with a smile on my face my sweet friend. :-)

[TL Boehm]

I felt a zephyr blow my hair
realized you had placed wildflowers there

Such a beautiful image!

[s y e]

" I felt a zephyr blow my hair
realized you had placed wildflowers there"

Wow, this is amazing! I see that Sami and I had the same lines in mind, ha! Good taste, lol.

This is gorgeous, FP, I loved it. It was flawless, the words just glided down the page and those butterflies are too cute!

~ Noodle.

[annie lee]

This is a lovely image, and you use some beautiful words to achieve it. Just a few things I would change (and this certainly does not mean YOU need to change anything). The "filtering light" confuses me; why not the "filtered" light? "I felt a zephyr blow my hair" -- why not "As a zephyr blew my hair' -- ? And while I find the last two lines beautiful, their lack of simplicity steals from the beauty. Machinations to me are gear and cog set in motion by human hands; I can't really match machinations with poetry; perhaps rather a labyrinth or undying rhythms? Again not meaning to offend OR rip your lovely poem. The last line has a redundancy: capricious whimsy; whimsy is capricious, isn't it? And the phrase "endearingly perpetuating" is lovely, but I think applying it makes the line sound like a bunch of words from a Thesaurus session.
I can tell you that the effort you use to lovingly paint a scenario and place your words into such a setting is obvious and artistic. You create a little tableau and the reader is charmed by it. Please do not be put off by my remarks. I have recently been attacking my poetry with the axe of revision, trying to implement a professor's advice. Sometimes I feel that since I am older and so are my poems, surely they must have ripened like a great cheese -- cheese being the operative word when I re-read them with a cold eye and heart. It's hard, I know, because our poems are like little seedlings or baby birds, and we want to protect them from those we consider unkind. So if you feel like stomping on some of mine after you read this, feel free. I need the criticism and the freshness of new eyes.

[Archangel Gabriel]

Another airy and whimsical piece that meds words to words to paint a picture for the reader.

[Marie]

Nice...I love those butterflies swooping around...

[lee von cleef]

Ahh you leave me with a whimper,

[kublakhan27]

We're drinking and we're dancing and the band is really happening and the Johnnie Walker wisdom running high...don't know about the JW but this poem is definitely happening...catching breath in a whisper sounds like fun ;P

[Robbie~xoxo~]

How mesmerizing is this!~ melting hearts tango...LOVELY!!
I am captivated by the fluttering butterflies within your etched whimsy.
Beautifully written Friedalicious!~xoxo~:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Gently flowing, your words glide across the page. The inspiration for your words, this partner in the dance that is poetry... gives a feeling of contented surrender. *sigh* :)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

Poetry is music of the heart and soul. The imagery was captured.