this is so poe-ish...but reminds me of sherlock holmes in Murder by Decree, playing the violin after he went to see annie crook at the mental institution and how he cried for her...even as he was playing..
the violin is a beautiful instrument but can play such sad, haunting notes.
this poem is sad and haunting.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
So glad it took you there jacob, the feel I was going for, thanks so much.
Dancing to your own beat, that is how the rhythm of life should be... never duplicate, only orchestrate your own tune. What a lovely verse of a free spirit.
It's wonderful what inspiration can do. This one got stronger and stronger as it went Frieda. I don't know why but this line stuck with me, "as the furious tunes beguile,". Great bit about the crows too. Nice one.
The use of gypsies and violin music immediately sets such a sublime tone. This piece is oozing with imagery, which I always enjoy. Dancing, spinning, music in the moonlight; it's all there for the enjoying.
Only suggestion: The last stanza, "frenziedly" made me stumble both times that I read this, perhaps a different word or maybe just take it out all together and have "swaying to the memories".
Thanks so much Friday, I changed it to frenzied, see if it works for you now...I just wanted it to h.. read moreThanks so much Friday, I changed it to frenzied, see if it works for you now...I just wanted it to have that feel.
I love the sound of violins...you put music on every other damn piece but you couldn't find some violins to enhance this beautiful write?? You're slipping, my love ;-) xoxo
Oh geez you're right the kimmer, I wrote this when the power went out, all discombobulated between t.. read moreOh geez you're right the kimmer, I wrote this when the power went out, all discombobulated between that and all the other stuff...ha, I'll find you something. xo
11 Years Ago
Just for you ;-) x
11 Years Ago
I have the speakers turned off because it is after midnight, but I will listen to this first thing i.. read moreI have the speakers turned off because it is after midnight, but I will listen to this first thing in the A.M. Cannot wait :-D xoxo Thank you, lady ;-)
I like the shift in mood that springs from the one word "grey" at the end of the second stanza. Hinted at with "ornery" but driven home by grey which sets up the final stanza.
I also like the image of the metaphorical gypsy - the secret persona hiding within our soul whom we only allow to come out at times.
Nicely done!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks Steve, glad you enjoyed this one, I'm not a rhymer, trying something new.
11 Years Ago
Isn't that one of the reasons to be here? To try new things. Good effort and I look forward to readi.. read moreIsn't that one of the reasons to be here? To try new things. Good effort and I look forward to reading more.
I love the imagery you have in this poem, it totally made my morning. It strikes a chord with me (pun intended hehe) as recently I've been finding my mind fluttering about remembering strange occurrences from forever ago. Reminiscing on the past I suppose. Thanks for sharing :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Ha very good, thanks for the visit and review hyottoko. :-)
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..