A Sunder

My skin worn thin, my mind deluged

recesses of the heart cobwebbed with time

digging up past trespasses from the fold 

its vice grip like an implosion of the soul

'let no man put asunder' holds no meaning

where was god during the proceedings

Reviews

[Pete Langley]

In the depths of the damage of the ripping apart, the desire to call on a deity...any deity....to make us whole again is natural for a survivor like you, Frieda love. Ultimately, you have to find that `god` inside yourself to pull you out, don`t you? This moves me. P.

[Frieda P]

I will agree with you there Pete, sometimes these just sneak out without much resistance on my part, much appreciate your kind words here. x

[Annabelle Lee]

fold.......soul
meaning........proceedings
RHYMES?!?!?!?! Approximate rhymes, but rhymes. Is this really a frieda piece?

[Baby Ricochet]

I like this one.There's been moments in my life where I wondered what in the hell God was doing. He wasn't watching us. That's for damn sure.

[Emerald Seas]

A quick read of depth and emotion. A moving piece.

[Foxemerald]

Rapid, yet heart-felt, and complex. The past is cuttingly raw. It's like looking through a cracked glass into a moment that one was forced to have borne . . .

[Zahra]

When something terrible occurs and turns your world upsides down, it also effects the pattern of thinking. As Tai pointed out, this tearing and breakage never becomes a part of the past, you feel it's still happening, even when we move ahead. Very well written poetry. You're one of the gifted poets who have the ability of saying so much in few words.

[TL Boehm]

'let no man put asunder' holds no meaning
where was god during the proceedings

ouch. That line hits like a hammer on a spike. WOW! great poem.

[Tai Ryens]

I find the apparent disconnection with the theist and their god(s) quite intriguing here. Shattered by another existence; wondering where the deity was and why he hasn't intervened to make life a go-lucky glorious existence. One more thing I absolutely adore here: the play with words in the beginning. Asunder would (or perhaps I over-analyze once more!) mean that the splitting had already taken place; while a sunder would indicate the splitting IS taking place.
This, to my opinions only, would make me imagine you have even a deeper sense of disconnection with destiny as you once believed; the unsure demeanor of not knowing if the parting is meant to happen or has happened; and you only dwell within the past.

[Kristin Lee]

The depths of this are cloying. How true that the past keeps a vice like grip on us some times digging up tresspasses. I felt like I could wrap myself in your words. Truly beautiful writing.

[icelandicblue]

That is the universal question for much that happens in this world. It is the bitter herb of all questions. I've always found those words to be strange-let no man put asunder-I always thought it was up to the couple to keep it together not warn everyone else to leave them alone.

[s y e]

"'let no man put asunder' holds no meaning
where was god during the proceedings"

Well, I can't answer that, but Johns review made me laugh!! He gave us free will and I guess some men take advantage of that..... A lot do.

Good write, hun x