Poetic madness written in collaboration by kublakhan, the illustrious master of abstract (Steve) & Frieda, enjoy!
you applied pressure, i acquiesced heated elements drove me home implosions bit my tongue to bid you another invitation into my boudoir your reply; fingers grabbed roughly and pulled through my tousled hair
satin tresses exercised sweet strangulation on your slow deliberate grip hinting at acceleration smothered at the source so my skin could observe the methods of your touch and my mind could formulate the level of anticipation in your texture
found rapture in your fluidity wrapping taut thighs around your release chanting in rapid succession of the gods unchained melodies of dark moons
conveyor ecstasy hiccups in time with every grizzled jolt jutting both bodies slanted into air slapped teasingly with tiny beads of sweat and stray saliva
small of back tickled in time with full-frontal grope firm but loose enough to field the ebb and flow of mounds in motion
There are some very good lines in here. I liked the last two stanza's especially but I would say there are some words that could be looked at to improve.
"conveyor ecstasy hiccups" - interesting here, tweak it and it should work as a first line.
but there are some very good lines like
"found rapture in your fluidity"
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks, appreciate the comments George...I think Steve likes that line the way it is, but much appre.. read moreThanks, appreciate the comments George...I think Steve likes that line the way it is, but much appreciated....
I sense there is a deep meaning to this. I probably have to refresh my vocabs though, very confusing. The flow, however, I can commend. It just seem right! Brava to you and Mr. Steve!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Deeper meaning, as in kenetics, ha...it just flowed easily once we got started, thanks Monster!
Woo, did you hear that Steve, we got a 'perfect' from Poppy Silver, doing the happy dance! Thanks mu.. read moreWoo, did you hear that Steve, we got a 'perfect' from Poppy Silver, doing the happy dance! Thanks muchly xo
11 Years Ago
It's definitely happy-dance worthy ;P Thank you Poppy, you humble us with your praise :)
Oh, my! I am blushing! A sensual, flowing piece that makes me wish my husband was home right now! :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Oh my, did you write about it after he got home Rita? ;-) Thanks!
11 Years Ago
Haha I don't know if your husband is home yet but maybe you can read it to him :P we love to inspire.. read moreHaha I don't know if your husband is home yet but maybe you can read it to him :P we love to inspire our readers on any level that applies ;)
11 Years Ago
Haha! Quite inspiring! A good weekend to recite some poetry to my beloved... ;)
11 Years Ago
Woo, sounds like a party will ensue shortly afterwards. :-)
Ok, now that my glasses are no longer fogged...nice job you two, this had a reckless abandon running through it as if someone's hair was on fire. Down and dirty, but smooth and very well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Down & dirty but smooth, hmmm...sounds like a smooth operator, thanks Jack.
11 Years Ago
Haha don't worry Jack, I had foggy glasses at some points too...I had to write some of it after all .. read moreHaha don't worry Jack, I had foggy glasses at some points too...I had to write some of it after all :P
Get a room you two! Not in front of the kids PLeeease!!
Nice erotic write!
May need a mature label?
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I was thinking that too John, Steve said no...now you've got me perplexed. What say you Benji?
11 Years Ago
I didn't think it was going to be needed, but since it has been explicitly referred to by a reader, .. read moreI didn't think it was going to be needed, but since it has been explicitly referred to by a reader, I suppose we should go ahead and label it haha
Mmm that is so sexy groping is so much fun :) This was a very hot piece, which I also found very hilarious the way you described certain things
like "chanting in rapid succession of the gods"
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Yes you nailed it, mostly hilarious groping, ha. Thanks.
11 Years Ago
What did you do to this poor guy, Frieda? I went to read something of his and his account is closed.. read moreWhat did you do to this poor guy, Frieda? I went to read something of his and his account is closed...
11 Years Ago
*wince* Wow, surely we didn't scar someone with mental images or anything did we? ;P
11 Years Ago
I'm afraid so, Steve...it was you and Frieda's wanton ways that chased this young man straight out o.. read moreI'm afraid so, Steve...it was you and Frieda's wanton ways that chased this young man straight out of the cafe...you should be ashamed. Both of you. Because look at him...he's adorable! xD
11 Years Ago
No way, his account is open, he's not leaving me with this mess to clean up on my own! ;-)
11 Years Ago
Ohhh, Luke, ahahaha, that's a whole different ballgame. ;-)
11 Years Ago
Ha! ;-)
11 Years Ago
Check your inbox. ;-)
11 Years Ago
Haha I love it when you two get into a discussion...you make a most entertaining pair, verbally that.. read moreHaha I love it when you two get into a discussion...you make a most entertaining pair, verbally that is ;P
11 Years Ago
You have no clue Benji! Lol ;-P
11 Years Ago
Haha No? NOW I'm thinking inappropriate thoughts...;P
11 Years Ago
Does it have to do with the kimmer, moi and a certain hot tub? Lol ;-P
11 Years Ago
Haha hey don't make my imagination any more hyper than it already is ;P
11 Years Ago
*laugh* You'd have to get in line behind Keegan, Steve, but I'm game xD
11 Years Ago
Haha you're well aware of what my imagination is capable is concocting Kimmer ;)
11 Years Ago
;-) I better get back to work or I might get myself into real trouble here *laugh*
Haha and I thought the flying sweat was the predominant image in there...just don't equate flying sp.. read moreHaha and I thought the flying sweat was the predominant image in there...just don't equate flying spit with drooling...there's a difference ;)
11 Years Ago
Oh my word, you're drooling too, you're a hot mess!
Beautiful ease into the nature of feeling and continuing onward into full rapture---exquisite write!!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you, it was smooth sailing writing with the great abstract poet, much appreciate the visit and.. read moreThank you, it was smooth sailing writing with the great abstract poet, much appreciate the visit and review.
11 Years Ago
Thank you my friend, and Mrs. R as well for continuing to humble me with her praise even though I co.. read moreThank you my friend, and Mrs. R as well for continuing to humble me with her praise even though I consider myself the secondary writer in this piece :)
Holy crap...I'm at work and I almost passed out reading this. Should have had a big warning sign... danger ahead! Lmao...what a mind blowing experience on those words!! Going to lay down now and sigh... ;-D xoxo...
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Blame it all on Benji, Mrs R, just went along for the ride! ;-P Thanks, glad we could blow your ski.. read moreBlame it all on Benji, Mrs R, just went along for the ride! ;-P Thanks, glad we could blow your skirt up a bit! ;-) xo
11 Years Ago
Haha yeah just like that expression "Blame Canada" right? (Thank you South Park) Even though we're .. read moreHaha yeah just like that expression "Blame Canada" right? (Thank you South Park) Even though we're excessively polite and understated, you know what they say about the quiet ones ;P Glad you enjoyed it so much :D
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..