Seasons on Fire

spinning in my head,

 the contention finally purged aside

the winter of my mind 

    is more than a typical reason

these storms desecrate the thoughts of my mind

       the thunderous claps play havoc with a vengeance

struggle to deliberate the existence of acceptance

      sanity swims by in a dark colored suit

a lifeline of sensibilities dive in

    yet the torrential downpour never ceases to exist

seasons come and go but nothing changes

         i thought i'd found a diamond of summer

it was flawed beyond recognition

          it brought me to my knees

i fall to the abyss yet again

         like the autumn of death's door

i sit waiting for consummate spring's perfection

                 a vision that eludes me

should i cut my head off and start again

                  would life be any less convoluted

i contemplate the labyrinth of another's turmoil

    does the chaotic shrill of life's seasons never end?

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

Frieda....I first have to say that the title of this poem, captured my eyes, as well as my imagination:

Reading this poem, for some reasons reminds me of how the gods look down upon us in disappointment, thus making us a little puppets...enslaved in their cruel game. Of course, that's just my interpretation, and naturally i could be completely off the mark...big surprise.

Back to this poem...brilliant use of choice of words, the arrangements of them in each of the lines, exquisite use of profound imagery as well as flow. This write really smacks you right in your imagination. amazingly well penned (as usual), Frieda, thanks for sharing. Sorry for lack of reviews...trying to catch up. Take care and be well - xoxo

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A guided piece that relaxes in it's entirety yet pulls the reader in all directions only to settle on questions, well done, good read.

[lolawants]

wowsers!

[Frieda P]

Thanks, you sound like Jen, is that you?

[Rebecca Buller]

...sanity swims by in a dark colored suit
a lifeline of sensibilities dive in
yet the torrential downpour never ceases to exist
seasons come and go but nothing changes...

Wow, simply perfection, and this has already been added to my favorites. Thank you for a truly marvelous poem.

[Frieda P]

Wow Rebecca, thanks so much for visiting my page, and such a glowing review, much appreciated!

[Rebecca Buller]

You're very welcome:)

[Frieda P]

I went to return the favor and you have no work posted, where's your stuff? :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the description. I like the use of the seasons.
"i thought i'd found a diamond of summer
it was flawed beyond recognition
it brought me to my knees
i fall to the abyss yet again"
The above lines are my favorite. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks John, always a pleasure to see you on my page.

[Pete Langley]

I`m gonna have a little pick at this one, because I think it`s a superbly themed piece damaged by a few constructional stumbles....OK, here we go....first, I don`t want to change the style...it`s yours and yours alone....once you start emoting you take our breath away! Line 2 "contention"?...accurate but poetic?,,,mmm. "contest"?
Line5 maybe "my thoughts" ?
Line9 maybe "dives"
Line 10 maybe ceases
Line 17/18 ...the perfect vision of consummate spring/that eludes me
Line 22 maybe "labyrinth"

If you`re gonna slap me around for this...please use a pillow and not a baseball bat, OK?
Luv ya. P.

[Frieda P]

We never use pillows in joisey...ha, you've given this much thought, I will take it under advisement after I get back from the batting cages. ;-)

[Frieda P]

Better now? ;-)

[Pete Langley]

Mwah :)

[Frieda P]

Made my day love! ;-) x

[Augustus]

Compelling and intense. It is such an alluring metaphor isn't it? Equating the changing seasons with the swirl of emotions. I wrote a sonnet called "The Seasons Deep Within" three years ago on exactly the same topic! I love the imagery. You have made full use of the scope that this metaphor provides for creating forceful imagery. Several memorable phrases here: "storms desecrate the thoughts" and "sanity swims by in a dark colored suit" are my favourites. I loved the rhetorical question at the end too...
"does the chaotic shrill of life's seasons never end?"
And I shall answer it with the closing couplet of my sonnet
"For neither sun nor snow can stay their Dance
Entrapped in mysterious webs of Chance"

Lovely write, Frieda! Thanks!

PS: In the penultimate line, should "labyrinthine" be changed to "labyrinth"? It doesn't take anything away from the poem's beauty or message though.

[Frieda P]

Such a lovely review Augustus, thanks so much for your kind words....your ending is much more formal than my piece here but it melds nicely. I meant labyrinthine more as an adjective, such as the twisting effect of other's plight. I will have to give it some thought.

[Augustus]

You're welcome Frieda! :) Of course my ending is formal, because it is taken from an old sonnet of mine, and it has a specific rhyme and meter. I understand that "labyrinthine" is an adjective. The only issue is that it is creating a bit of confusion because there is no noun following it. Perhaps "labyrinthine turmoil of another" is an option, in case you wish to retain the adjective form.

[Frieda P]

Ha, you'll confuse me with rhyme and meter, I write differently than you do. That makes sense, thanks for the insight...much appreciated.

[Augustus]

Oh I don't intend to confuse! I respect and appreciate well-written poetry irrespective of whether or not it uses rhyme and meter. It was a pleasure to review your poem! :) Glad you found the review helpful!

[Frieda P]

I know, just kidding with you, but meter does confuse me ;-) Thanks again.

[kublakhan27]

You must know by now that the way to my heart is through a poem about the seasons right? ;P Seasons come and go but nothing changes...you've summed up about eighty percent of my life's creative output with that one line...but for you personally, I know there's a lot of soul-searching going on in here...I'd like to think we're both wrong on the notion that the seasons change nothing...there is still a diamond of summer waiting to be restored to full lustre...let's tend to that before we start worrying the autumnal abysses...one day at a time my dear, and one season at a time ;)

[Frieda P]

I was waiting for you to read this one, since yes, I know you have this thing for the seasons...well diamonds are just mere coal under pressure right? How hard could that be? One day at a time, yes, sounds like a sitcom! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha very true...I'm from a former coal-mining town (before the industry collapsed) and my grandfather mined so I know all about the nuances of a diamond...maybe there's a sitcom in there somewhere too ;)

[Frieda P]

Ha yeah like Diamond in the Rough. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha or One Diamond At A Time ;)

[Frieda P]

That sounds like it could be R rated ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Anything that stems from our imaginations at any given time COULD be R-rated ;P

[Frieda P]

Hahaha shhhhh!! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

LOL Well it's not like it's a secret to anyone that reads our stuff ;)

[Frieda P]

I have no clue what you're tawkin bout Willis ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha are you sure? ;)

[Frieda P]

No, but I'm waiting...patiently...ha not really ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha that's what I thought ;P

[Frieda P]

xD

[kublakhan27]

;)

[writ rajat]

fantastic poem

[Frieda P]

Thanks.

[TL Boehm]

sanity swims by in a dark colored suit
a lifeline of sensibilities dive in
yet the torrential downpour never cease to exist
seasons come and go but nothing changes

I truly hate my "big Girl drawers)"

[Frieda P]

Hahaha, that made me laugh TL, thanks! ;-)