~Castles Crumble

Castle walls in the skies kept me safe

   until you crept up behind me out of sight

you broke into the vault of chained melodies

   music of the heart written in braille

you pierced the outer membrane 

   it oozed a sudden aubergine recognition

bejeweled crystallization of this vessel's tune

   i felt an ancient nagging dance within my soul

old heated tempos tangled in my toes

   let me waltz the passage before a tango

crumbling walls desire avowal to prance

   upon flooded fortified fortress chambers

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

so many lines in here that have amazed my mind this morning-and there was a sleep over here last night after a big teenie bop concert-Phillip Phillips late night for us!!!!
I had to have another cup of our special wake up friend read this over until my eyes were connecting to my brain....and I adore it
prance I love that word!you have not and flooding chambers let's us know-
who will sink and who will float!
thank you fine lady...but please can we do this on a non sleep over concert morning*)

[Frieda P]

Ha, you need to tell me when then Holly....thanks for this glowing review my friend. :-)

[Rhianne Ney]

Another well expressed and well-written poem, Madam (: I'm seriously amazed by your poems and your duty to always write everyday. Great job~!

[Frieda P]

It's therapy Rhianne, pure and simple, thanks so much! :-)

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome, Madam.

[Tai Ryens]

I see the loss of faith here. Something undeniably a fallacy, yet so inclined to believe in it simply because it brings comfort. Truth will come knocking someday, and Truth is one stubborn b*****d. I interpret the poem, probably in the wrongest way possible, as you accepting the fact, and coexisting peacefully with it.

[Frieda P]

A b*****d, that's putting it mildly Tai, thanks for your thoughts here.

[icelandicblue]

The poem speaks of both physical and spiritual awakening. There was no storming of the castle walls more like a whisper and a sigh as those walls crumbled.

[Frieda P]

Exactly, thanks blue....

[Jack...]

Indeed they do, walls come crashing down, gates are standing open and windows are raised as the fresh scent of life begins to flow through the hallways and corridors of our heart. Very nice Frieda. this was beautiful and delicate and loud, all at the same time.

[Frieda P]

Oh, the fresh scent of life, I like that a lot Jack, thanks!

[Foxemerald]

I flush with pleasure and a wide smile as I'm carried upon the song of these words, into a beautifully painted, artistic distance. It vivaciously in stark, bejeweled words and colors, but also softly, as though it were being written to classical music. It is pure and unfettered. It took me into a rapid, pumping heart moment- and then, softly let me go . . .nicely done.

[Frieda P]

Am loving your review Foxemerald, it's poetic! Thanks so much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the alliteration...and this reminded me of don maclean's "Castles in the Air"

now nothing keeps me safe, i have been penetrated, my fortress walls collapsed and i am vulnerable...but there is still a tune in this vessel and i can still dance.

[Frieda P]

Wow, I don't think I"m familiar with that one, will have to check on that one, thanks jacob.

[kelvin]

Nicely written read here within ones mind pure talent is hidden and it seems you have found it as from the writings I read of yours so far.AS always keep writing fellow writer. again nice one

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your kind review kelvin.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Beautifully written. I love the imagery and the emotion in this. It's a bit cryptic, which is one of the reasons why I really enjoyed it. A suggestion, it might be more powerful if the last three lines were set apart in their own stanza...they really sum up the entire piece and are their own thought in a way. Overall, you never cease to impress.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Friday, yes I can tell you like cryptic by reading you! :-) Thanks for your thoughts here...

[Annabelle Lee]

Ahhhhhhhhhh, always the Romantic, Frieda. I liked the title of this one, fit very well with the piece yet so creative.

[Frieda P]

Lol, a romantic, hmmm, no one has ever called me that before, don't talk to my ex whatever you do! ;-)