~Castles Crumble

Castle walls in the skies kept me safe

   until you crept up behind me out of sight

you broke into the vault of chained melodies

   music of the heart written in braille

you pierced the outer membrane 

   it oozed a sudden aubergine recognition

bejeweled crystallization of this vessel's tune

   i felt an ancient nagging dance within my soul

old heated tempos tangled in my toes

   let me waltz the passage before a tango

crumbling walls desire avowal to prance

   upon flooded fortified fortress chambers

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

so many lines in here that have amazed my mind this morning-and there was a sleep over here last night after a big teenie bop concert-Phillip Phillips late night for us!!!!
I had to have another cup of our special wake up friend read this over until my eyes were connecting to my brain....and I adore it
prance I love that word!you have not and flooding chambers let's us know-
who will sink and who will float!
thank you fine lady...but please can we do this on a non sleep over concert morning*)

[Frieda P]

Ha, you need to tell me when then Holly....thanks for this glowing review my friend. :-)

[Pete Langley]

The last four lines are brilliant, Frieda. This has to be music in your soul making you articulate so well, love. P.

[Frieda P]

You have just made my day Pete, my night, thanks so much love! x

[KAOlmsted]

Ooh...that alliteration at the end knocked my proverbial socks off, lady. Great write...

[Frieda P]

Score 1, I always wanted to knock your socks off, woo....thanks! ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

:-D Always my pleasure...any old time ;-)

[Acucena G.]

very good

[Frieda P]

Thanks Acucena.

[kublakhan27]

It's been a while since you've gone dancing my dear ;P Some of these lines are just breathtaking...music and fantasy have been brought together brilliantly here...you are a muse.

[Frieda P]

Ha has it been really, good thing you keep me on my creative ballerina toes! Am I right on cue with dark & light, I know you keep track. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

You are, and I did indeed notice ;P

[Frieda P]

Ha good thing I don't have to pay you for this. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Good thing I can't dance...you'd never get a moment's peace ;P

[Frieda P]

Now that's silly, anybody can dance, it's just feelings put to motion ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah my feelings just tend to be very shy, and not at all conducive to rhythm ;P

[Frieda P]

You can't be serious, someone that loves music as much as you do!

[kublakhan27]

My dear, you have no idea how shy I am in the flesh...that's why I'm so debonair on paper ;)

[Frieda P]

Hahahaha there's another sitcom, Debonair on Paper...lol You need to write that one Steve!

[kublakhan27]

LOL Very true...if I ever write a memoir, that's what it's called ;P

[Frieda P]

Ha....I think you start off with a piece of your finest abstract poetry first ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha so I should I introduce Vanilla now or later? ;)

[Frieda P]

Go check your mail then talk to me about vanilla ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Will do ;P

[fireblossom]

I went a little crazy reading this poem...it was good crazy. Wonderful writing.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much fireblossom, crazy is always good in my book. :-)

[lolawants]

this is amzing luv the picture :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks. :-)

[TL Boehm]

music of the heart written in braille - and flooded fortified fortress. Ooh. Alliteration! So nice. Tempos tangled in my toes is such a strong line too. for a short work this thing is packed with wonderful lines!

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your glowing review TL.

[KeeD]

I've put my defenses up.. no more will I allow myself to be breached.. that's how I fool myself into thinking i'll be alright. Frieda your castles are made out of diamonds.. beautiful and hard.. a lot of people want to set siege and claim the crystallized vault but yet here you are still Queen of your castle.. alive, strong and beautiful. No one can ever get you down hunny.

[Frieda P]

Your reviews always warm my heart and bring a smile to my face Kee, thanks so much!

[KeeD]

best picture ever^

[Frieda P]

;-) x

[KeeD]

You look so young and radiant. Someone is glowing :D!

[Frieda P]

HA it's an older pic but happy times with my #1 son, so I needed to keep it close. Thanks!

[KeeD]

Frieda how do you write so many poems and they're all so good. What's in the water your drinking? Can I have some of it?

[KeeD]

I was reading kimmers detective book and she's so talented.. she captures that ny city cop male ego so well.. it got me wondering have you ever written a book miss p?

[Frieda P]

No have no clue where to start writing a book, that's beyond my comprehension, I can barely sit still long enough to write poetry....I barely have the attention to read lately, that's why poetry is the right fit for me. I know, I know, I have to get to the genius's book! :-)

[KeeD]

I'm on the second chapter, I haven't left a review as yet cause frankly i'm thinking of something amazing to say :P cause it's so good the review has to be good as well haha :D I don't know how she keeps up with the dates and the detail in her book though :D

[Frieda P]

Ha don't look at me, like I said, I'd have no clue where to begin....

[Frieda P]

Down here the kimmer ;-)

[s y e]

This was a great write, there will always be things that bring us down but we always have people around us to help. There was a positive message in this write. A lot of powerful lines.

[Frieda P]

So happy you got that message out of this one Sye, thanks hun xo

[s y e]

So glad you're back, sweetie. It was weird without you xo

[Frieda P]

Awh, you're so sweet Sye...mwah! xo

[s y e]

< 3 mwah x

[Veronica Chandler]

On the surface this awesome piece seems to be one of destruction, but I sense such goodness in here. The crumbling away of the old often precedes a rebuilding of something new, more suited to who we are evolving into. Some of my most profoundly difficult moments have turned out to be productive of the most good.

[Frieda P]

Glad you came away with that feel Veronica, I see you know castles too, thanks so much.