~Castles Crumble

Castle walls in the skies kept me safe

   until you crept up behind me out of sight

you broke into the vault of chained melodies

   music of the heart written in braille

you pierced the outer membrane 

   it oozed a sudden aubergine recognition

bejeweled crystallization of this vessel's tune

   i felt an ancient nagging dance within my soul

old heated tempos tangled in my toes

   let me waltz the passage before a tango

crumbling walls desire avowal to prance

   upon flooded fortified fortress chambers

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

so many lines in here that have amazed my mind this morning-and there was a sleep over here last night after a big teenie bop concert-Phillip Phillips late night for us!!!!
I had to have another cup of our special wake up friend read this over until my eyes were connecting to my brain....and I adore it
prance I love that word!you have not and flooding chambers let's us know-
who will sink and who will float!
thank you fine lady...but please can we do this on a non sleep over concert morning*)

[Frieda P]

Ha, you need to tell me when then Holly....thanks for this glowing review my friend. :-)

[InsanityWriter]

Frieda, you've done it again. ;) Another great poem! I love the imager and flow of this piece... Excellent work. (:

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

This almost feels like the happenins of the heart, nothing physicla even though it can produce that kind of pain - but love, how we feel when we opoen ourseleves to love, well done.

[Baby Ricochet]

Very nice. Lots of interesting imagery. Congrats on the #1 spot.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Always a joy to read the words of this phenomenon, this poet.

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

The wordplay used here is just simply amazing. Thanks for sharing Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for the read and review, much appreciate it Mr Dunne. :-)

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

The pleasure was all mine :)

[Souladareatease]

Lucky fella, it could be song, Lays upon lips as honey!!!
A bared write indeed and absolutely magical in it's telling

[Frieda P]

Ah, a song, how lovely a thought, thanks so much!

[Ency Bearis]

Profound poem and well presented = simile to dancing in the rain. The only thing I can't comprehend is that word - bejewled - maybe you mean bejeweled crystallization.

[Frieda P]

Oh my, a typo, my bad, I won't be able to sleep now! :-) I'll fix that right away, thanks so much for your review...

[Barbara Walker]

There's something about the second line that takes away from the rest. How about just "until you broke into the vault of chained melodies" Other than that it's a great write!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barbara, I'll have to look at that one again...

[Deron Alexis]

really nice writing Frieda .it felt like waking up after sleeping well thats a rare thing for me so you know I enjoyed your poem especially the lines felt an ancient nagging dance within my soul
old heated tempos tangled in my toes that i think was the high point for me and you found just the right way to express the idea well done

[Frieda P]

Ha, you and me both Deron, thanks for your glowing review, as always!

[Shay]

i love this the wording is just amazing

[Frieda P]

Much appreciate you pausing on my page Shay.