Bloody Sun

violet musings crash my mind

posies of a special kind

honeyed to the soul like candy

turn the page to black orchids

tunes of rock salted melodies

dancing with the devil's crush

i hold you close to my breast

for you are all of me

the darkest light winds the mind

i wear it so well twisting in it's acumen

my suit of armor has ruffles of poppy red

lacy inserts around the neck

they hung me safely inside out

if you could spy within the eye,

oleander planted in soot

pansies do survive this concrete slab

posies grow smashed within the fray

perhaps one day daffodils will bask

unabashedly in the glow of something other

than tears from the bloody sun

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Darkly written poem- a variety of flowers struggling under a bloody sun. Beauty is not without its struggles- sometimes it struggles for its life. The one line that jumped out at me and poked me in the eye was this one: they hung me safely inside out. Sounds very much like an oxymoron and I couldn't help but reread it and shudder.

[Frieda P]

So thrilled you 'felt' that one blue, thanks so much.

[N!LoC]

how flowery... hihi

[Frieda P]

Ha, flowery you say. hihi ;-)

[Steven]

'oleander planted in soot'

Great image, unique. Some really nice lines in here. The second 'of' isn't correct though--should be:

'sweet to the soul,' or 'sugar of the soul,' or 'sweets of the soul...'

Otherwise I liked it ;).

[Frieda P]

Thanks Steven, didn't notice I had two 'ofs' in there, will work on that...much appreciated. ;-)

[melodioh]

Ok. This is the last of eight poems by you that I have read. My criticism is perhaps more for your friends than you. It seems that they must not like you very much. If peotry is a serious interest of yours then you still have a lot of work to do. Unfortunately nobody has bothered to tell you so.
Your writing is quite jammy with metaphor and cliche. If it were syrup we would have to permanantly regurgitate; your recipe is haphazard and rushed.
If I didn't think you really cared about your writing I wouldn't bother writing you. Please don't be offended.

[Muse]

this is not a review, it should be a private email

btw, you mispelled poetry.

[Frieda P]

I'm not offended in the least, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, I wonder why you felt the need to read eight of them to come to this conclusion though... this is my style, I write from my heart and gut, and don't follow any particular rules....not sure what you mean by jammy exactly...

[Muse]

because you "jam" well with peanut butter. :)) Let her give an example of jammy, then we can call it a constructive review.

[Frieda P]

I hope it's raspberry, I don't like grape too much ;-)

[Muse]

My new favorite is Nutella...I wonder if you would "jam" well with that??

[Frieda P]

Brandy new profiles without a clue give me the heebie jeebies anywho, no telling who this is...but I have a sneaking suspicion I know...

[Frieda P]

Haha, I am Nutella! ;-P

[redflutterby]

Wtf?? Please give me a break!!! I love when someone think everyone else is idiots. What would we do without them??

[Muse]

no..not idiot...put the Nutella on your toast.

[redflutterby]

Melodeoh can put the nutella where the sun don't shine.... lmao!!!

[Muse]

bwah ha ha

[redflutterby]

I hold you close to my breast
for you are all of me

These are my favorite lines. They speak to me of being completely within another. So much that you are inseparable in body and soul. May not have been your meaning though. ;-)

[Frieda P]

Once I put it out there Red, you can play dress up with it, however your little heart desires. ;-)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

What a beautiful juxtaposition of the dark and the light; the beautiful and the painful. I found this piece to have a mournful feel; dark and morose, and yet utterly delightful just the same.

Perhaps one day daffodils will bask
unabashedly in the glow of something other
than tears from the bloody sun

Wow..powerful stuff.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Friday, you read me well, much appreciated.

[Ohhhwillow]

"Dancing with the devils crush", ah Frieda this line was so rich in sweet, devious, dark innocence I love it! Excuse my terrible paradox, for you are quite the master of it, with your never ending, deep descriptions that tickle the tongue with questions about who we are reading about and vivid images tied to your natural imagery flood the mind!

P.s I love your title, something with a juxtaposing beauty

[Frieda P]

I am dancing to your review right now, thanks so much Willow!

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

the darkest light winds the mind...you always amaze and never let us down.

[Frieda P]

You're much too kind Neva, thanks.

[TL Boehm]

if you could spy within the eye,
oleander planted in soot
pansies do survive this concrete slab

pansies are tough little blooms. This poem speaks of that. the tough armor. The harsh concrete - and yet there is life - fed by blood but it is still life....this is a deep write

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your thoughts here TL.

[David Scott]

A "bloody sun" appears at the end of daylight. When the day is spent and night is pushing to have domain. Yet is seems to me like this is the promise of the new day. The sense of hanging on as long as posable. The sun does not just go out. It's refusal to key go promises that a new day will come. That is the promise those fragil blooms hold close as they shiver through the cold of darkest night.
Your poetry has emoted much for me today. Thank you Frieda.

[Frieda P]

What a sweet review David, and shiver they do, you're most gracious, thanks so much....x

[quinfinn]

"there is a rose in Spanish harlem".....seducing all with her simile and playful imagery. you really know how to spin a thought, dear posy. "living in the shadows of a concrete world" is a line from Journey's song "easy to fall" from the Trial by Fire album , and i immediately thought of it , reading this. you always make me reach way beyond the experience of simply reading your art...i usually feel it right down to my soul, and find it leads me down other venues as well. i love it, damn you!

[Frieda P]

Always a song in your heart quin, never thought of that, now I'll be listening to Journey all day...thanks so much, damn you too hon! ;-)