Butterfly Tears Haiku

gone in an instant

she fluttered by much too soon

 ~butterflies cry tears~

Reviews

[Augustus]

It is perhaps technically a "senryu" and not a haiku, since it deals with emotions (So I was told once). But honestly the distinction doesn't matter to me.

This is an extremely delicate verse. It is obvious that it speaks of a deep loss, but the use of butterflies lends a great tenderness to it. Butterflies are ephemeral creatures. They only live for about a week. And here you speak of one that fluttered by too soon. To me, this signifies that although our life span is short to begin with, most of those handful breaths were taken away from this particular butterfly. Sorrowful and beautiful at the same time. Thank you!

[Frieda P]

Interesting Augustus, I first had it as a Senryu, but then thought because it was butterflies, it'd be considered a Haiku, they confuse me to say the least. Thanks for your lovely thoughts here, much appreciated.

[Dhaye]

Haha. FP, I have such experience... being confused with my 3-line poem...if Haiku or Senryu. Though it is about butterflies which are part of our nature, the whole concept describes with the emotion of the butterflies. And if I am not mistaken, a butterfly is usually used as a symbol of a lady/woman. My vote is for Senryu. Lol. :)
Nice poem. :)

[Frieda P]

Ha you people are driving me bonkers! Lol, thanks, I thought so too, then changed it, the vote is 50/50 I think... ;-)

[Shivam Murari]

Haiku is about nature, not emotions :) But nice one, by the way :)

[Frieda P]

So you're saying this is a Senryu? I'm so confused! :-)
Thanks for your visit :-)

[Shivam Murari]

I think its Senryu. Just google if you are confused :)

[Frieda P]

I did, I'm still confused, it speaks to nature, but also emotions, so I'm not sure...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow a senryu? :) elegant piece. speaks volume of emotions.

[Frieda P]

Ha I don't know, the vote is split, it's My-ku I think ;-)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

lol : great write my friend :)

[Frieda P]

From what I've read it's a Haiku, maybe someone who knows actually will say...thanks Marc! :-)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yeah Haiku deals with natures, It is a Haiku because it has butterfly, but the word tears also qualified this piece being a senryu according to the crystal ball :) Lol

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

So it is a combo lol :)

[Stella Armour]

a haiku for me Frieda, since it deals only with nature, and a beautiful one at that, i like to think that there is something spiritual about butterflies, they seem to take your attention and make you feel so calm.The closing line has a really powerful image.

[Frieda P]

That's what I thought too, perhaps fantasy nature, I don't think butterflies actually cry, but they do drink turtle's tears, which I thought kind of strange...thanks so much for your thoughts here Stella, much appreciated.

[Stella Armour]

i wouldn't change anything about it Frieda, there are lots of rules for writing haiku if you are serious about it but for me this is perfect.

[Frieda P]

I noticed, hard to say sometimes, but it stands for now, thanks again....since you love butterflies so much...

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-12/butterflies-drink-turtle-tears-and-more-amazing-images-week

[jwesley]

Butterfly Dancers

Not as delicate and beautiful, and fit with the perfect graphic, but here's my version...



Butterfly dancers
wind-blown gossamer angels -
Spring is in the air.

©wesley james beard, jr.



j.

[Frieda P]

Oh that's the flip side j, and brilliant I might add...

[Renée]

reading this...I can see a gentle butterfly in motion & your tears welling up in your eyes in remembrance of someone special....
for me it is humming birds..I see them as a little hello... had one even have its last moments on earth in my hand which was surreal

[Frieda P]

Humming birds sound lovely too Renee, thanks for your kind thoughts here.

[Renée]

xo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Hurts my heart to read...love you..~xo~
This is a heartbreaking Senryu...

[Frieda P]

Hurt my heart to write it, thanks for your kindness always dear friend x

[Yellow Butterfly]

My thoughts are with you...

♥

[Frieda P]

Much appreciated YB x

[Michael G.]

A lovely, sad thought.

[Frieda P]

Thank you Michael.