Oh my, wow! This was so..... beautiful! There is so many beautiful, passionate lines in this write guys. For some bizarre reason while I was reading this, the song, You Raise Me Up was playing in my head, haha. I dunno why though.
"Star light open canopies of gemstones shining free
Blur beneath the vision as my heart does hold this sight"
The imagery in this piece was amazing, there was so much. It was a like story came alive on the screen. You guys really aced this piece. The collaboration was great!
Going in my favorites. 100/100
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
So jazzed you liked it farfalle, it's not hard to look good when Jack's got your back. I agree with.. read moreSo jazzed you liked it farfalle, it's not hard to look good when Jack's got your back. I agree with the line you picked, of course it belongs to the master!
11 Years Ago
Oh yeah, featured review! Woohoo! :)
Haha, does it? Aaaaah, definitely the master then.. read moreOh yeah, featured review! Woohoo! :)
Haha, does it? Aaaaah, definitely the master then! :P
The 4th stanza Jack and Freida stands out to me . The beat is the thing I always look for the inner beat of the music playing in the piece. I have only done one collaboration myself. As a weed among flowers I can only say I dont have any expertise in this But it sounds great to me.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Oh who asked you Tate....of course that's Jack's! Thanks anyway... ;-)
11 Years Ago
Yes it was jack who asked me to look at it .Did you not want me to read it?Whats jacks ?
11 Years Ago
Lol, the 4th verse of course...and yes, I'm thrilled that you read it, just pulling the Tate's leg.
11 Years Ago
lol thanks i thought you were hitting me in the head lol
Just gorgeous imagery in this piece - I am blown away. This line: "Spring’s poppies never sprouted their happy essence" - so melancholy, sets the tone for the rest. Love the concept of "laying your head upon the shoulder of surrender". The last line, too, so full of depth. I can see in this poem, Frieda, your wild passion, and Jack's cool hand to temper it. Well done, both!
Stunning, Frieda. Longing for love felt, and the imagery portrayed within these lines gives the reader pause. I think it is difficult to love and lose. I wonder which is worse, to know love yet not have it reciprocated, or to never have felt loves grasp at one's heart at all. I think.... the former is down right horrible as the latter doesn't know what they are missing. Profound.
Collaborations can be disastrous but this flows very smoothly, alternating stanzas each with its own voice and emotion. Won't select a favourite phrase or stanza. that would be unfair. Many thanks for inviting me to review, Jack
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
You're too sweet Emma, it's fine, Jack is amazing, you can pick one of his lines, I'll only pout a w.. read moreYou're too sweet Emma, it's fine, Jack is amazing, you can pick one of his lines, I'll only pout a wee bit lol...seriously, thanks so much, thrilled you enjoyed it xo
I enjoyed the change in format and tone from your pen Frieda. You did not lose any of your creativity and flare in the attempt. A poem of pure emotion if I take the last line to heart. Can anything be thought that carries no meaning? Can even the knowledge that words are not spoken carry as much meaning as if they were? They may lack full understanding or proper comprehension, but they do carry meaning... in my humble opinion. ;)
Loved it as always Frieda P.
Great write.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
As always an elegant and insightful response from you dear friend, thanks so much, really happy you .. read moreAs always an elegant and insightful response from you dear friend, thanks so much, really happy you enjoyed this one. x
Wonderful collaboration! I love the fact that I can clearly see which part is Jack's and which is yours, Frieda, and yet it still looks so beautiful as a whole and well put together. Excellent poem, truly :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
That was Jack's idea, I just sent him my lines, and he finished it off, I think it worked too, thank.. read moreThat was Jack's idea, I just sent him my lines, and he finished it off, I think it worked too, thanks for the visit & review LSD, much appreciated.
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..