Chance Crash

wrapped the night in white silk 

reciting poetry by dusky subterfuge,

so it'd be easier to swallow whole

tousled hair on the pillow curled in satin

you crashed the gates of reveling crazy

sensibilities were caught between the sheets

unattainable read the intrigue alluring

i breathe you in like a heroin addict

smoke rose to the ceiling in morning light

etchings on my skin of thrashing insanity

you cast your spell from the prototype

i dubiously drank down the adulteration

watched as the sun assaulted the moon's senses

zephyrs lost their memory in the afterglow

opening the book of detached, broken liaison

you crushed my heart between random pages

bookmarked leather, with a heather feather

nothing rhymed quite right after the feint

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

the imagery you conveyed in this poem, as well as again, blah blah blah your choice of words, falling into their proper order in each stanza is nothing short being brilliant. this is breath-taking and a very enjoyable read that has taken me away. i am sorry for always being so redundant with my reviews upon your lovely art, Frieda, i've run out of words!
thank you for sharing the beauty of your words with us all. i have a lot of catching up to regarding your writings, apologizes. pen on :) - xox

[Frieda P]

Blah Blah Blah...I love your review! lol Thanks so much Barrie! xo

[ms. barrie]

you welcome Frieda...what can i say...yous the Poetess. take care, and pen on - xoxo!

[Frieda P]

Ha you know I can hear you in my head when I read your reviews! ;-P xox

[ms. barrie]

egads, sorry about that LOL! i hope you've been well. :) - oxox

[Frieda P]

Lol especially that blah blah blah part, you're so sarcastic! ha ;-P xo

[ms. barrie]

lol well I'm a little redundant in regards to reviewing your poetry, no sarcasm intended! your poetry is positively spellbinding. plus i haven't slept and i have class. :) - xox

[Frieda P]

I know you have class, you don't have to tell me ;-) And sleep, what is that new fangled theory you speak of? xo

[ms. barrie]

i have a theory? i'm questioning if i still have a brain. i have no idea, aw thank you Lovely Frieda, as you do as well! oh i will be passing out after class. 7p.m. you be well and take care - xoxo :)

[Frieda P]

You too Barrie, and try to get some of that 'sleep' stuff...xo :-)

[ms. barrie]

Thank you...sleep stuff Jason Scott Lee...fantasy is nice :) - xox

[jacob erin-cilberto]

great last line...the regrets after the affair...the words to write the feelings caught between the sheets, never to see the dawn.

poetry might make it go down easier, easier to swallow..but there is only silence on the page.

[Frieda P]

You read me well jacob, thanks so much.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

beautiful write Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Neva, much appreciated.

[Horizon K.]

reciting poetry by dusky subterfuge,
so it'd be easier to swallow whole

sensibilities were caught between the sheets

ohh... affair... the heat of passion, all the while knowing ...
And the passion of having someone you cannot really have, the allure of the craze and the twisted tangle of resulting emotion...

This one was amazing!

[Frieda P]

You got it in one Horizon, jazzed you like it!

[AYVID N]

Sometimes a Gate Crasher can become a God!
And then...lo behold the devastation!

Amazing metaphors, great story-telling, mind-blowing emotion.

Remind me not to fortify my gates!

Frieda, you are too good.

[Frieda P]

Ha don't you know it my friend, thanks so much for your kind words always. xo

[Barbara Walker]

After my initial reaction of "What?!" I reread it, paying closer attention to your diction and ended up really liking this piece. The last three lines are my favorites! I breathe you like a heroin addict ain't bad, either! Ah, heck, the second and third lines are pretty spectacular, too!

[Frieda P]

Sort of like my reaction 'what'? Ha glad it won you over...thanks Barbara.

[Rhianne Ney]

The thoughts flowed well in rhythm here, great job Ma'am

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly Rhianne.

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome, Ma'am

[Rob Santana]

This is really good Frieda. Solid piece of work, your choice of words are give way to awesome imagery. You get the gooey goodness award for this one ****

[Frieda P]

Lol, you just loooooooooooovvvve that one don't ya? ;-P

[KeeD]

"i dubiously drank down the adulteration
watched as the sun assaulted the moon's senses

Zephyrs lost their memory in the afterglow
opening the book of detached, broken liaison"

Take me to the moon and back.. imagery in this one is strong :)

[Frieda P]

Whenever you're ready Kee ;-)

[Pax]

i dubiously drank down the adulteration
watched as the sun assaulted the moon's senses
~ wow, powerful words that crush out the narrator's heart... so much it talks of many have experience... temptations, mad rush of emotions...and many more... nothing comes out if in the first place it was already so wrong... that's what i get in your words...

i enjoyed this piece.... great work my friend...

[Frieda P]

So happy that you did Pax my friend :-)