Smoke

I recall a time when I knew

    what it meant to breathe

natural inhale,  exhale of life

scented with the essence of posies,

then your smoke clouded my world

constricting/blackening/poisoning

my heart collapsed as if by nicotine

why is there no patch for love

Reviews

[Ohhhwillow]

This is just aching in nostalgia, your emphasis on "natural inhale" highlights to us that there are unnatural breaths for you too. Addiction can be mended, unfortunately even time cannot fully heal a wounded heart.. This is so powerful Frieda. So beautiful.. Well done

[Frieda P]

Love your comments here Willow, thanks so much.

[Emerald Seas]

It'd be hard to keep that kind of patch in stock.

[Frieda P]

Ha! So true, and if only....

[kublakhan27]

There ain't no cure, there ain't no cure...you remember that one right? ;P Funny thing, I scribbled down a couple of lines last night that follow this theme to a degree...

[Frieda P]

Oh god, it's too early to pass out, where are your mother's smelling salts?!! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

LOL ;



LOL ;)

[kublakhan27]

I hate this laptop haha

[Frieda P]

Ha and here I thought you were just trying to make your point 'come' across in a BIG way lol

[kublakhan27]

LOL That's not to say I can't do that too ;P

[Frieda P]

Now you THINK you're Cohen! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha I would never make such a claim...I WISH I was him a lot ;P

[Frieda P]

Me too sweetheart ;-P

[kublakhan27]

;P

[Frieda P]

mwah!

[kublakhan27]

Right back at ya ;)

[Blue Ivory]

Your words are so true! Love really is an addiction. People really do need help to get out of it. It's not just feelings you can "get over". Can you simply "get over" cigarettes? No I believe not. Like narcotics, you have a NEED to talk to or be with this person. You have cravings. And when you can't see them, you get fidgety or jittery. Great work here, Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Siren, you so got it!

[AYVID N]

I wish there was. Sales would run into billions!
Brilliant thought Frieda and equally attractively packaged.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Divya, I think we need to start work on that formula immediately if not sooner! :-)

[AYVID N]

;) Please do. I know I'll get my free samples Frieda! :)))

[Frieda P]

Ha I'm sure there'll be a stampede! ;-)

[AYVID N]

Yes. But I am going to be there first in queue!
And I know I am favored! :))

[Frieda P]

Ha of course...being separated at birth, who else? ;-P

[AYVID N]

:))) but me? ;)

[Horizon K.]

A patch for love, if only... Yes if only it were easier to snap back to how we were before hearts were broken... A very sad but eloquent write dear Frieda.

[Frieda P]

If only for sure, thanks Horizon.

[Ken Simm.]

No cold turkey either. Time is what it takes.
Interesting concept and brilliant use of metaphor Freda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Ken, time eh? What did the Stones say, time is on my side, I can't get no satisfaction, should have been one song...

[Holly Mason]

this is great
a patch for love-to calm the need
I feel for you so when you write something like this
I do not know if I even really know what love is-expressing problems in my youth has really made me see things differently lately-I never acknowledge them before they embarrassed me-I hid them
now that they are out there in cyber world I am starting to wonder if I could now acknowledge love-really do
thank you so for sharing-clean area before placing on the patch*)

[Frieda P]

Unfortunately Holly, I know exactly where you're coming, thanks so much my dear friend.

[jwesley]

Excellent write, my friend, wish I had thought of it.

I think maybe all three words in line 6 should end in " ing ", not only for a smoother read, but to keep the ' tense' straight (I say tense because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about!) but my (very fallible) instinct says it should.

Correct me if I'm wrong --- I haven't learned anything yet today (except my coffee is life-giving!!).

Loved this...

j.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much j, you're so very sweet, yes I fully see what you mean, Friday had suggested 'ed'...will work on it, so glad you enjoyed.

[s y e]

Ooooooo flip flops! Holy moly macaroni!

Well I think that patch would be a huge success! It would sell within minutes :P Im sure of it. I bet it would, how much you wanna bet? I'll bet you! Imma win this one! Anyhoo, I loved it.

[Frieda P]

Ha holy macaroni reminds me of you! Thanks sweet farfalle x

[Jack...]

Another brilliant piece sweet Frieda. Though you poetry usually does take my breath away, so to breathe for me is always a chore when you are around.

[Frieda P]

Now you're making me blush Jack, and I hardly ever blush. Thanks so much my dear friend.