Smoke

I recall a time when I knew

    what it meant to breathe

natural inhale,  exhale of life

scented with the essence of posies,

then your smoke clouded my world

constricting/blackening/poisoning

my heart collapsed as if by nicotine

why is there no patch for love

Reviews

[Ohhhwillow]

This is just aching in nostalgia, your emphasis on "natural inhale" highlights to us that there are unnatural breaths for you too. Addiction can be mended, unfortunately even time cannot fully heal a wounded heart.. This is so powerful Frieda. So beautiful.. Well done

[Frieda P]

Love your comments here Willow, thanks so much.

[icelandicblue]

Smoke clouds and covers filling you with noxious fumes from which there is no escape. I love your lament that there is no patch for love- that is so painfully true.

[Frieda P]

Thank you blue, glad you understood my feelings here.

[Pete Langley]

No patch because the is no substitute. Nothing comes near, nothing can make you feel so outside yourself and inside another, so high, so fast, so light, so free. There you go, hun ... another poem for you to write! Lovely words. P

[Frieda P]

You make it sound like a drug Pete...so free until someone pulls the carpet out from under you...thanks hun. x

[Junert]

Hmm why? Great poem.

[Frieda P]

If I knew why I'd be a genius...thanks Junert. :-)

[Barbara Walker]

Excellent write! Says so much on so many different levels. love the analogy!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barbara, I knew you'd get it!

[Sam Gregory]

I love poetry that can be interpreted many ways, especially when the writer doesn't realise it can. To me, this is a well penned piece expressing how love can shroud u and trap u in a bad place if things don't go the way u like.

[Frieda P]

I like when poetry can be interpreted in different ways too, we all see it through different eyes that fit our own circumstances, thanks Sam.

[Sam Gregory]

No problem :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Love taking our breath away; sometimes that seems good, but as you describe so perfectly, if left unchecked, it's constricting and causes collapse. Wonderful metaphor.

[Frieda P]

Double edged sword, so true, thanks Rita.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A good analogy that describes the stench when stuck in a smoky room and you can do nothing and even breathing gets difficult.

[Frieda P]

Very difficult, you know where I'm coming from John, thanks.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hey give up smoking its a DIRTY habit!

[Frieda P]

I have ten times! Once for ten years...but that's not really the problem...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No but I advise you just stop putting things in your mouth that damage your health!

[Frieda P]

HA!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow! the last line solidify our chase for real love. It sad that we can't get what expect sometimes. Truly a worth to read. Thanks free for sharing.

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your thoughts Marc.

[beautiful dreamer]

omg this is awesome! :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Jen. :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

Love changes with age. I wish for days when love was my life and the happiness of my lover was my purpose. We change not for the better. I like the use of smoke and nicotine to make your point. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your insightful review John.