A Seasoned View

You said she was

       ' cold as ice'

proceeded to try

         & warm her drink

warned beforehand, 

               she watched her heart

      you drank her down spirited

       with your dark intoxicating eyes,

       like a silly school girl 

              she began to unfurl

      melted like  a frothy cube

 in your shot of lofty clouds

        somewhere between

sweet raspberries & beer,

making time with a target plan

   I watched from a  pretentious corner

       languidly peering over my comprehensive 

  sneer of  peppered vodka & ail

once you got her hot, it was all over

    her lesson for that night

still isn't clear,

when you tango with lions

  temperature settings

 have nothing to do with life

and even less to do

             with love affairs

Reviews

[AYVID N]

"once you got her hot, it was all over
her lesson for that night
still isn't clear,"

- Such a clever and cool observation....

Reminds me of the predator and it's prey. I take away from this poem...a lesson in caution...in never getting swept away...

'when you tango with lions
temperature settings
have nothing to do with life
and even less to do
with love affairs" - Awesome wisdom imparted here in such interestingly worded lines.

[Frieda P]

Years of wisdom and a gazillion mistakes! Thanks Divya...so glad you enjoyed this one...x

[Tai Ryens]

I admire your walkthrough of the earlier evening only to leave us at that moment, you watching from afar and pondering your own thoughts. How delicate your second stanza is; going from narrating the moment to narrating your own thinking. The metaphor I adhere to most, however, is your use of the word 'hot.' Though common and easily found amid many writers' diction, your explanation and thoughts lead me to wonder how such an off-topic adjective could possibly justify the affair.

[Ohhhwillow]

Many people struggle to use continuing metaphor gracefully - that you did not, this is brilliant! "You drank her down", this line immediately grabbed my attention, it so effortlessly objectifies the sexual woman and the temptation to consume by her - to be consumed by her. Additionally your four final lines drew closure perfectly, your alliteration of life and love is enthralling! Great write

[The 13th Eros]

Powerful write. There is a blind passion in us all, yet some are more blinded than others. They fall headlong into the wildness of flames only to be consumed. Believe me, I've done just about anything with enough vodka and ale in me. I'm all bunny with no fur. ;)

[Frieda P]

I bet, by the way it was vodka and ail...not ale, not that night anyway! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Part of me says I want a good view of this scene, but most of me says I'd probably throw up if I did...Vanilla is tired of being a spectator...vanilla wants action...

[Frieda P]

Ha, it was kind of odd watching the whole scene go down actually...thanks, who's vanilla??!

[kublakhan27]

Haha so you saw this? Where in the world would that have been :P If you don't know who Vanilla is by now, you'll never know ;)

[Frieda P]

Well I KNOW it's not you! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha no, it's definitely not me ;P

[Frieda P]

And it's not Cohen, who else is left? lol

[kublakhan27]

Haha Nobody, which means I was joking in my previous reply ;P

[Frieda P]

Don't you know it's a sin to confuzzle someone on Easter? ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha confuzzle, I like that one ;P

[Frieda P]

Yeah I know, that's why you like moi. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Indeed ;)

[Frieda P]

xD

[kublakhan27]

:D

[quinfinn]

i never danced with a lion but i have waltzed with a jackal or two...and even a panther once. somewhere in all your metaphor and underneath this wonderful painting is a woman embracing her inner child and yet, counting life's lessons as an underlying theme. you never cease to amaze and impress with your gift of gab and your excellent use of the literary skills at your disposal....again....color me stunned and impressed.

[Frieda P]

Panthers are pretty sleek & sexy...color me thanking you for always giving me your support and such sweet reviews!

[quinfinn]

i'm your huckleberry!

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Frieda

You are rarely, if ever, out of the 'Top Writers' list.

Unseen of course, I will often pop over at times, have and look, fail to comment (a bit like the observer here albeit not pretentious at least I hope) and understand why.

So I thought I would take time out and make a few comments on this piece.

As it comes OK?

A seasoned view of life?

Yes of course.

You watch cubs at play in their mating routines as at a dance and watch how the games you once my have played (us all may have, well I did) continue to be played out in the current reality of the other, another, which other we of course ask (a friend, your daughter, just someone)?

The games we all used to play or we lived, seen again and reflected upon as an adult, perhaps with a degree of grim reality.

The young girl. First play. Entranced by a guy who has played more games than she has and has the upper hand.

Her?

" like a silly school girl
she began to unfurl
melted like a frothy cube
in your shot of lofty clouds"

The young innocent!

Him?

"when you tango with lions
temperature settings
have nothing to do with life
and even less to do
with love affairs"

The cold calculator and as you say 'making time with a target plan.'

I could go on forever about this piece. There is lots I could refer to which exemplifies why you have achieved the status you have on this site.

But to what purpose?

Praise where praise where praise is due.

At one time, I was a lion and I knew how to play the game in childhood and in adulthood. The player of all players! I found easy prey. It's called turning on the charm!

At one time, I was the silly school 'boy' and got caught in others games. Then I became vulnerable and got badly burnt.

We grow up.

Yet life never really changes does it?

But let's hope as you do here, we do as adults, we learn and move on.

I liked this.

Not sure whether that is a blessing or a curse from me.

But just take it from a well intentioned reader / reviewer who has (without being but it may sound it, like the pretentious viewer of whom you speak) experienced more of the vicissitudes of life, its highs and its lows and variety of life than most.

Perhaps I have seen too much.

But if I have, it only, I hope, adds perception and awareness rather than bitterness and rejection.

Just seeing life through their eyes as they see it.

With my warmest regards and in all friendship

James

PS Sorry I don't do brief. With a self-derogatory smile.

[Rita L. Sev]

"When you tango with lions, temperature settings have nothing to do with life, and even less to do with love affairs." Awesome verse - a vivid, heady write!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Rita, true story, glad you enjoyed it. ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

If you tango with a lion you get mauled and then devoured! A nice Frieda write just wish I knew who you were watching?

[Frieda P]

Actually got this idea last night John, she was such a young innocent thing, I seriously wanted to save her from the lion's den! Thanks....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Who?!!

[Frieda P]

I doubt you'd know 'who' from across the pond John! Someone that frequents the local pub in my lofty neighborhood. lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A posh b***h then!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Anyway you have Bars not pubs! We have pubs!

[Frieda P]

Ha he's Irish!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Who?

[Frieda P]

The 'PUB" owner!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

American Irish!

[Frieda P]

No, as a matter of fact, I can barely understand him!! He sucks at voice recognition.....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hey he sucks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Quit complaining!

[Frieda P]

I'm not complaining, I'm explaining, you fookin asked!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Now who's feisty lol?

[rubie]

I love how this piece rushes from cold to hot, hot HOT! It's got life and movement, and breathes with enticement and passion.

Seductive write!!

[Frieda P]

Woo, really jazzing on your review rubie, thanks so much! Enjoy your weekend.

[rubie]

Thanks, sweetie! You too!!