"once you got her hot, it was all over
her lesson for that night
still isn't clear,"
- Such a clever and cool observation....
Reminds me of the predator and it's prey. I take away from this poem...a lesson in caution...in never getting swept away...
'when you tango with lions
temperature settings
have nothing to do with life
and even less to do
with love affairs" - Awesome wisdom imparted here in such interestingly worded lines.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Years of wisdom and a gazillion mistakes! Thanks Divya...so glad you enjoyed this one...x
I admire your walkthrough of the earlier evening only to leave us at that moment, you watching from afar and pondering your own thoughts. How delicate your second stanza is; going from narrating the moment to narrating your own thinking. The metaphor I adhere to most, however, is your use of the word 'hot.' Though common and easily found amid many writers' diction, your explanation and thoughts lead me to wonder how such an off-topic adjective could possibly justify the affair.
Many people struggle to use continuing metaphor gracefully - that you did not, this is brilliant! "You drank her down", this line immediately grabbed my attention, it so effortlessly objectifies the sexual woman and the temptation to consume by her - to be consumed by her. Additionally your four final lines drew closure perfectly, your alliteration of life and love is enthralling! Great write
Powerful write. There is a blind passion in us all, yet some are more blinded than others. They fall headlong into the wildness of flames only to be consumed. Believe me, I've done just about anything with enough vodka and ale in me. I'm all bunny with no fur. ;)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I bet, by the way it was vodka and ail...not ale, not that night anyway! ;-)
Part of me says I want a good view of this scene, but most of me says I'd probably throw up if I did...Vanilla is tired of being a spectator...vanilla wants action...
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Ha, it was kind of odd watching the whole scene go down actually...thanks, who's vanilla??!
11 Years Ago
Haha so you saw this? Where in the world would that have been :P If you don't know who Vanilla is b.. read moreHaha so you saw this? Where in the world would that have been :P If you don't know who Vanilla is by now, you'll never know ;)
11 Years Ago
Well I KNOW it's not you! ;-P
11 Years Ago
Haha no, it's definitely not me ;P
11 Years Ago
And it's not Cohen, who else is left? lol
11 Years Ago
Haha Nobody, which means I was joking in my previous reply ;P
11 Years Ago
Don't you know it's a sin to confuzzle someone on Easter? ;-P
i never danced with a lion but i have waltzed with a jackal or two...and even a panther once. somewhere in all your metaphor and underneath this wonderful painting is a woman embracing her inner child and yet, counting life's lessons as an underlying theme. you never cease to amaze and impress with your gift of gab and your excellent use of the literary skills at your disposal....again....color me stunned and impressed.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Panthers are pretty sleek & sexy...color me thanking you for always giving me your support and such .. read morePanthers are pretty sleek & sexy...color me thanking you for always giving me your support and such sweet reviews!
"once you got her hot, it was all over
her lesson for that night
still isn't clear,"
- Such a clever and cool observation....
Reminds me of the predator and it's prey. I take away from this poem...a lesson in caution...in never getting swept away...
'when you tango with lions
temperature settings
have nothing to do with life
and even less to do
with love affairs" - Awesome wisdom imparted here in such interestingly worded lines.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Years of wisdom and a gazillion mistakes! Thanks Divya...so glad you enjoyed this one...x
You are rarely, if ever, out of the 'Top Writers' list.
Unseen of course, I will often pop over at times, have and look, fail to comment (a bit like the observer here albeit not pretentious at least I hope) and understand why.
So I thought I would take time out and make a few comments on this piece.
As it comes OK?
A seasoned view of life?
Yes of course.
You watch cubs at play in their mating routines as at a dance and watch how the games you once my have played (us all may have, well I did) continue to be played out in the current reality of the other, another, which other we of course ask (a friend, your daughter, just someone)?
The games we all used to play or we lived, seen again and reflected upon as an adult, perhaps with a degree of grim reality.
The young girl. First play. Entranced by a guy who has played more games than she has and has the upper hand.
Her?
" like a silly school girl
she began to unfurl
melted like a frothy cube
in your shot of lofty clouds"
The young innocent!
Him?
"when you tango with lions
temperature settings
have nothing to do with life
and even less to do
with love affairs"
The cold calculator and as you say 'making time with a target plan.'
I could go on forever about this piece. There is lots I could refer to which exemplifies why you have achieved the status you have on this site.
But to what purpose?
Praise where praise where praise is due.
At one time, I was a lion and I knew how to play the game in childhood and in adulthood. The player of all players! I found easy prey. It's called turning on the charm!
At one time, I was the silly school 'boy' and got caught in others games. Then I became vulnerable and got badly burnt.
We grow up.
Yet life never really changes does it?
But let's hope as you do here, we do as adults, we learn and move on.
I liked this.
Not sure whether that is a blessing or a curse from me.
But just take it from a well intentioned reader / reviewer who has (without being but it may sound it, like the pretentious viewer of whom you speak) experienced more of the vicissitudes of life, its highs and its lows and variety of life than most.
Perhaps I have seen too much.
But if I have, it only, I hope, adds perception and awareness rather than bitterness and rejection.
Just seeing life through their eyes as they see it.
With my warmest regards and in all friendship
James
PS Sorry I don't do brief. With a self-derogatory smile.
"When you tango with lions, temperature settings have nothing to do with life, and even less to do with love affairs." Awesome verse - a vivid, heady write!
If you tango with a lion you get mauled and then devoured! A nice Frieda write just wish I knew who you were watching?
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Actually got this idea last night John, she was such a young innocent thing, I seriously wanted to s.. read moreActually got this idea last night John, she was such a young innocent thing, I seriously wanted to save her from the lion's den! Thanks....
11 Years Ago
Who?!!
11 Years Ago
I doubt you'd know 'who' from across the pond John! Someone that frequents the local pub in my lof.. read moreI doubt you'd know 'who' from across the pond John! Someone that frequents the local pub in my lofty neighborhood. lol
11 Years Ago
A posh b***h then!
11 Years Ago
Anyway you have Bars not pubs! We have pubs!
11 Years Ago
Ha he's Irish!!
11 Years Ago
Who?
11 Years Ago
The 'PUB" owner!
11 Years Ago
American Irish!
11 Years Ago
No, as a matter of fact, I can barely understand him!! He sucks at voice recognition.....
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..