~Toxic~

I injected you

                 into my veins, 

immediately 

                  started to convulse

   molten fire, heated

                blood to the core

penetrated fluidic

      beneath my skin

i needed a high,

           your prick was hot

 my addiction was out of control

              danger warning flashes burn

 your toxicity spun me turbulent

            i felt you fracture in my bones

intoxicated~

 by the staggering hit

a blinded frenzy

                 of deadly poison

           mournful when i come down

 i felt the death of my essence

                  still i want to take flight again

    yearning death by your blade

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

I suspect you tried to write of a little erotica here as well? If so, you've done a remarkably good job portraying so. Feeling as if that space was made only for that one, certain person. At first I envisioned, say, a heroine addiction; but that does not seem to be, you. I suppose. Nonetheless, I liked this.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Tai, I wanted that addictive feel to it, but no, not heroin!

[icelandicblue]

This is quite a sizzling poem. You use the metaphor deftly and it most definitely sticks to the reader well after the reading. Bones fracture at extremely high temperatures:

i felt you fracture in my bones
intoxicated~

[Frieda P]

Oh cool, I hope it didn't hurt too much ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow this is such a wonderfully captured metaphor in flowing and junkie crazed yearning tones. Great write

[Frieda P]

Lol 'junkie crazed yearning tone'...love that John!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oi hands off my inspiration!

[Frieda P]

ha oi you never complained when I handled your inspiration before big guy! lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I thought you had YOUR eye on it my lady!

[Frieda P]

I was going to..never mind ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I'm on it. Hey why not both come up with a piece each using the phrase?

[Frieda P]

'junkie crazed yearning tone'? I just did!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok first attempt and I have followed the theme.
Shoot Me Up
You spew and spill warm blood
upon these virgin pages.
Your most eloquent
and ethereal words
mere golden daggers
tipped with poison.
You speak as your head spins
in exorcism of your frozen bile
and your voice drips fresh salivation
in junkie crazed yearning tones
that beg the earth to shatter.

29/03/13

[Frieda P]

Wow, I'm impressed, in no time flat, a masterpiece!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Now come on my lady hardly a masterpiece but I await your offering and I simply know it will be great!

[Frieda P]

share your sword with me
cut me with your blade
i get high on your essence
everytime you bleed
in junkie crazed yearning tones
I cry for thee, slay me once again
the depths of you i need
penetrate my soul
turn my head until i beg for more

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yep good!

share with me your blade
cut me with your sword
get me high on essence
everytime you bleed
in junkie crazed yearning tones
I cry for thee, slay me once again
tis but the depths of you i need
penetrate my soul
turn my head til I implore
the sweetest of Gods mercies
in the union of our souls.

[Frieda P]

Sounds good to me, that's a wrap... Now I'm horny. ;-) Lol

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Naughty!
Is this better?
Shoot Me Up
You spew and spill warm blood
upon these virgin pages.
Your most eloquent
and ethereal words
mere golden daggers
tipped with poison.
As you speak your head spins
in exorcism of your frozen bile
and your voice drips fresh
in junkie crazed yearning tones
that beg the earth to shatter.

29/03/13

[Frieda P]

Hmmm bile is kind of gross

[Frieda P]

You want it raw, but that kind of turns me off, think I like the first version better

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It also had bile as in anger?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Its really good that we have come up with two distinctly different pieces. Yours is sensual and romantic, mine more raw and distainful.

[Frieda P]

Yeah I just realized that, don't mind me, I need sleep, can we deep six the bile? Think of something else...

[Frieda P]

How about aversions?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok you get some sleep I must get some outstanding stuff done. Will look at an alternative to bile. If my memory serves me well you may have picked me up on using the word previously? It does have impact!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Now aversion might just work. Dosen't have the desired impact but.......................

[Frieda P]

I'm sure you can work it so it does......................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Bed!

[Frieda P]

All ready to go again, knocked off a few hours, you find a word yet or what?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Have I been here that long. Dang I must get some chores done and go to the gym before it's too late! hey I have posted it. Where is yours my lady?

[Frieda P]

I thought it was a collaboration??

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I think I only changed a word ot two did I not. Anyway one of us has to post it my dear!

[Frieda P]

i shall leave that to you on this day John, my brain is still not yet fully awake...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oh take credit where its due dear damsel. I postyed my piece with the phrase so fair is fair me thinks. Just back fro a good gym workput and food (and booze!) shopping Yay!

[Monster ^.^]

While reading this (and yes I haven't opened your music video at all, since I want to read your work, guessing how I think It goes) The song "Hey Jude" by the Beetles popped up. I don't know why.

That's hell of a toxic. Might'a want to slow down with that poison! :)

Yeah, I'mma listen to your MV now, just to clear things up.

[Frieda P]

Hey Jude, really? 'Don't let her under your skin', that part....

Thanks, hope that cleared things up for you Monster! ;-)

[s y e]

Wow, this is TOXIC! I loved it, you have so many powerful lines, it was great! Fantastic.

"I injected you
into my veins,"

love these lines, they hold so much! It blew me away,I loved it xo

[Frieda P]

Woooo, you know I'm jazzing on this review noodles! xo

[s y e]

Ha, I was signing Toxic by Britney, don't even like her..... XP xo

[Frieda P]

I like this version much better...xo

[s y e]

This version is much better! Anything can beat Britneys! Hehe xo

[PP]

You are damn toxic woman! You can spit poison when you write x

[PP]

I am glued to this slow version as well now!

[Frieda P]

Hahahah, thanks I think, I hope I didn't get any on you...! Toxicate me now! ;-P

[PP]

hahaha...you can't poison the already poisoned!!!!!

[Frieda P]

hahaha we'll have to write a poem about the antidote eh?!!

[PP]

make me your subject!!! haha