~Surrender~

   Write  in passion

          your  word upon my soul

give me your promise

            and your breath

look into my eyes

                    before you declare

sweet nothings

                 upon  my breasts

echo into the winds

                  of storm force gales

trace your blood 

              in the sands of eternity

sign no convenant

                     before its time

do  not rise 

                 in your manhood

place no sword 

               upon my loins

     until you have forsaken

                 all others

    to surrender

           in the arms of eternal bliss

Author's Note

just a thought...

Reviews

[quinfinn]

and a very beautiful thought this is...such a realistic and lovingly prepared declaration of gentle expectations. what man could resist the charm of this? anyone who has a heart and a gentle and fidelitous nature would run, not walk...to the arms of this enchantress. you write the most gorgeous undertones in your prose....love it, love it, love it!

[Frieda P]

As I love your reviews quin. Love the word 'enchantress' by the way, you won my heart with that one big time!

[AYVID N]

Frieda..it's not just a thought
It should be a command and edict to the male animal.
I love you for spelling it out! We get so little of what we deserve!
You got all that I wanted to say and more.
A favorite!

[Frieda P]

Thanks sweet Divya, we seem to think alike, yes!

[redflutterby]

Beautiful lines and i agree about the attitude. A woman demanding that she receive everything the man has to give.... As she should!! Really enjoyed this!!

[Frieda P]

Tickled you enjoyed this one A.M. thanks so much for your review.

[Deuces]

Love your style of writing. It's potent, yet smooth. Perfect balance. Libra perhaps?
The message conveyed is powerful, seductive and unforgiving. Do not expect to taste this nectar unless you are 100% surrendered and forthcoming. Besides, if you're not completely submissive... what's the point?

[Frieda P]

Ouch! My ex was a Libra, I'm a Leo...mix of p***y cat and Lioness RAWR! ;-)

[Deuces]

I'm a Libra on the Virgo/Libra cusp. Leos... (shudders from past experiences)

[Frieda P]

hahaha you're fresh!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

unless you will be only mine...don't presume to take me...

"before you declare sweet nothings upon my breasts"

i really like that line...there is the reminder of the suckling baby, of the nurturing...but in adults it is similar but different..there is no right to them...it is a privilege only shared if the relationship is exclusive...

love the attitude in this.

jacob

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much jacob...this started out as 'surrender to the devil' and ended up here...ha, you know the muse, can't fight it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i tend to just go along for the ride, let her take me where she will...i never really go into a poem with much of a plan...it goes where it wants to go.

yes, i understand.

[kublakhan27]

I'm inclined to say this is more than a thought, it's an all-out fantasy, at least it is for someone if not for yourself...the revelations are unveiled at a letter-perfect pace...wakey wakey...

[Frieda P]

Hmmm, by fantasy you mean, unattainable Steve, I might agree with you there, but don't rain on my parade. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Not all fantasies are unattainable, some are mental warm-ups for something that could happen, and that's for the writer...surely you know that the someone I'm referring to up there is me, from the male perspective...I think your parade is safe from rain...my parade's already been rained out for a while haha ;P

[Frieda P]

ha sounds like we both got by a tsunami ;-)

[kublakhan27]

As long as you're still afloat ;)

[Frieda P]

Taking on lots of flood water but still breathing ;-)

[kublakhan27]

That's all the matters...if you can breathe, you can live ;)

[The 13th Eros]

You are the Gordian knot; a riddle for a man's soul. The wishes here are for singular devotions to be confessed and surrender made to your sweet bliss alone. Those must be some loins. ;)

[Frieda P]

Woo, I've never been tied up to Zeus before, sounds delightful! Thanks. ;-)

[Jack...]

And what a thought it was. At times I feel it is fruitless to even attempt to write after reading your poems Frieda. Most on this site do not even come close to what you bring us everyday. I am so grateful to know you and call you friend. This was amazing.

[Lover Of Words]

this is an awesome awesome piece you are the greatest writer i have seeen in a while... SO good..... But yet so simple!

[Frieda P]

Awh Kelsey, you're too kind....sometimes simple is best, thanks so much!

[Lover Of Words]

You are so welcome!

[Frieda P]

I hear you missed me ;-)

[Lover Of Words]

Whom said that?! LOL

[Frieda P]

...a little bird ;-)

[Lover Of Words]

I see i see well that little bird was correct :)

[Frieda P]

Nice to be missed. ;-) x