~Surrender~

   Write  in passion

          your  word upon my soul

give me your promise

            and your breath

look into my eyes

                    before you declare

sweet nothings

                 upon  my breasts

echo into the winds

                  of storm force gales

trace your blood 

              in the sands of eternity

sign no convenant

                     before its time

do  not rise 

                 in your manhood

place no sword 

               upon my loins

     until you have forsaken

                 all others

    to surrender

           in the arms of eternal bliss

Author's Note

just a thought...

Reviews

[quinfinn]

and a very beautiful thought this is...such a realistic and lovingly prepared declaration of gentle expectations. what man could resist the charm of this? anyone who has a heart and a gentle and fidelitous nature would run, not walk...to the arms of this enchantress. you write the most gorgeous undertones in your prose....love it, love it, love it!

[Frieda P]

As I love your reviews quin. Love the word 'enchantress' by the way, you won my heart with that one big time!

[Jibey]

Romantic longings ... If only we did and could... 'eternal bliss'? - I doubt too much

Nice eroticism - 'sweet nothings on my breasts', ''rise in your manhood', 'sword upon your loins'...

... a woman's assumption that if he's interested at all, that's his first priority!!

[Frieda P]

I have my doubts too...that's why 'just a thought'...and assumption, hmmm...I would argue that point with you Jibey! Thanks...

[Monster ^.^]

What you need is a contract. HAHA! A genuine possessive type! Well, one must be sure before doing something, right? Prevention is always better than cure. :D

[Frieda P]

Prevention would be? Not possessive Monster, just someone who think there's something to be said about trust and your word being your bond. Thanks.

[Monster ^.^]

Hahaha, indeed. Sarcasm was meant when I said possessive :)

[Frieda P]

I must be way off my game! I'm the queen of sarcasm...haha ;-P

[Monster ^.^]

Hahaha! Sure you are ;P

[Frieda P]

;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

So your not a side dish. You tell em sister

[Frieda P]

Ha, was always into the main course Baby, thanks.

[Corset]

just a thought she says, just a thought, when the world was made there was no such thing as monogamy, Marriage was a jealous mans invention, ha! Talk about great ideas coming back to bite you in the a*s, heeheee. Frieda this was not only beautiful revenge but also what they deserve. A friend once said to me why make one man miserable when you can make soooo many of them happy? Mmmm? He was a wise man, what is good for the gander my friend, is also good for the goose.

[Frieda P]

I agree, and disagree. Depends entirely on where the relationship is going, is it a party or a promise. ;-)

[Blue Lotus]

That is truly beautiful!
I think my favourite poem of yours so far love it.. love it..love lit

I see the muse tricked you too lol
100/100

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for the read and review Blue Lotus, glad you enjoyed this one. Dang muse, can't be trusted sometimes! ;-)

[Blue Lotus]

Frieda darling we missed you so much...mad love 4 you
Last night was such a bore

[Frieda P]

Wow, was feeling under the weather but that made my day already, thanks!

[Blue Lotus]

good to know your feeling better :)

[Blue Ivory]

I LOVE this! Great job! This is a really awesome poem. Thanks for the request!

[Frieda P]

Thanks for reading Siren.

[Blue Ivory]

I showed it to a few friends too :) They loved it!

[Michael G.]

As always, the rhythm and flow is consistent with your writing. It's the content that draws close inspection from the reader.
A very interesting read. It reads easier for me after several readings. I catch its depth the more I read it. More of a proposal of ideals that should be understood and agreed upon, rather than a thought, I think. And it can read gender free.
Very well done, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

So happy to hear you gave it that much thought Michael....perhaps it's more than a thought, yes.

[Ken Simm.]

To have certain things of me make certain commitments. There are emotions one should not play with. We should always be straight, no pun intended.

[Frieda P]

'Emotions one should not play with', now that should be a commandment! Thanks for your insightful review Ken.

[emmajoy]

' .. look into my eyes ~ before you declare ~ sweet nothings .. ''

'And I do believe you mean every word .. if not, why not! There's a sign here, fact or fiction, that states very clearly, 'i'm yours but ask nicely and behave - or else! ' So wish i had the same presence, Frieda ..

More than much of your writing makes me feel and think .. thank you.

[Frieda P]

Lovely review Emma, what more could a poet ask than to have a reader 'feel' and think...thanks so much. Love the new pic by the way.

[khalid]

what a deep thought! it is really mind provoking thought. it takes the reader to many meanings and feelings both natural and supernatural. it can be a talk to fate, it can be a talk to a man....
very nice poem..

[Frieda P]

You are a deep thinker khalid...to fate, never thought of that, you put a whole new spin on my own words, thanks so much for your insight.

[khalid]

it is your words which are deep enough to be taken to other areas you may have never thought of..

[Frieda P]

Thanks again khalid, you make me ponder my own writes! ;-)

[khalid]

you are welcome, your writes deserve it..