Purging Torrents

Rain in my soul bares

 me to the bone

    pours from the contours upward

     opaque teardrops

          hastily seep deep indigo

Night an eternity of dread

unsettled waiting pace

          mind takes a sojourn

thrusts of raw thunder

& ghostly maneuvers

What lies in the darkness

              that does not show

 truth in reality

     *you hide in the shadows discreetly*

 dancing on boogie street

  Daylight nestled between

         deluge of murky billows

        seek refuge in the asylum

                 denial of abstruse breath

        vortex safely tucked in 

                

Oleanders and violets

 never pop their potential

       sorely woeful regrets

   torrents oft stagnant

     grow dank and visceral here

  Should I decide to lay my head

          in a puddle of promise's descent

 perhaps an ingenious butterfly

        will flutter me with luminous

communion of

  perception's resolve & rapport

Reviews

[KurKota]

WoW !!! My friend.....this is a picture drawn with a magical pen ! Any words I would use to describe it would pale, in comparison of its own quailities. From the first lines "Rain in my Soul bares me to the bone".....what a grabbing, dramatic statement. Again, WoW....my friend !

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Kurkota, always love when a review starts with 'wow' ;-)

Then I know for sure it's made an impact...! Thanks, much appreciated.

[KurKota]

yeah,.... I kind of like the "WoW" at the end ! ....ya know whatta mean ? :)) Your welcome.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Amazing. Beautiful.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Mehak, glad you enjoyed it.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Anytime.

[Lover Of Words]

Wow you have out done your self here dear.... This is unbeliveablely amazing and felt so real... Nicely worded and i enjoyed it very much!! Loved it... Great thing too wake up too awesome work

[Frieda P]

Wow, nice review. ;-)

Thanks Kelsey!

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure :)

[Amadi Judith]

you hide in the shadows discreetly. this is an interesting one. the language is rich and strong and causes the same effect as well. well done.

[David Scott]

The last stanza was special! I think it could be a poem all by itself.
I enjoyed the depth of this one. Less frantic than some of your work too. I liked the calm forward press of the write.

[Frieda P]

ha 'less frantic' are you feeling the frenetic mental state in my reads? It could be probably but it doesn't stand alone to say what I wanted it to...thanks David.

[David Scott]

Oh I loved the whole write.
Yes dear, frenetic. That is a good thing as well especially to clear out the mind.
Not bad or good in and of itself. Just fun to see the many different ways we all express ourselves.

[Frieda P]

I'll need to do a shot before my next write & chill out, maybe you'll see a difference ;-P

[David Scott]

Your just fine! ;)

[Frieda P]

Okay, I'll do the shot anyway, just for good measure. :-P

[David Scott]

Good plan! Ha

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Marvel!
What elegant use of English words and idioms...
Glorious!

[Frieda P]

Woo, thanks, love your review!

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

short n sweet

[Jack...]

Stunning, the way you put together a grouping of phrases, all on point and all so beautiful is amazing. It seems with you, no two pieces are alike and that shows true talent of expression. Very nice.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Jack, I love the way you put it, someone else told me I'm all over the place like horse s**t, I like your review much better. ;-)

[Jack...]

They just don't know talent when they see it. Some poeple just don't understand, I am beginning to understand your mind. You definitely think before you write. Your poems, some maybe a little abstract, some heart warming and others quite humorous always carry a little piece of you with them. Some of the poetry I read on here makes me scratch my head, it seem s people just fling stuff on here without even knowing what they are trying to convey, if they are trying at all. Your work is different than all of the others, it is unique to you and I thoroughly love reading your stuff. I enjoy finding that message, sometimes I have to dig deep and other times it slaps me in the face. I love how you put things together and make them feel cohesive. At first, free verse was not my favorite genre to read, but a friend taught me how to look at it, how to take it in and digest it. Your poetry is some of the best free verse I have ever read. So when someone says it is all over the place like horse s**t, well then they just don't know, because horse s**t is not all over the place, it falls in one place in a large nasty clump and never moves again.

[Frieda P]

You sure do know how to sweet talk a gal. That last line made me smile ;-)

I seriously thank you, I'm humbled by your words Jack, truly.

[Jack...]

Frieda, I have been writing for a long time. I have made my share of mistakes, but I have learned along the way. I am friends with some very talented poets and I don't profess to be an expert, but I know good poetry and yours is exceptional. Have you ever thought of putting some of your stuff together in a book, maybe putting it out on Amamzon or something like that? You really should, you are that good.

[Frieda P]

Be still my heart...no, as a matter of fact I've never considered it...I really only started writing poetry that wasn't so dark since I joined WC, most of my earlier stuff is basically purging and I never thought it was that good, I guess all poets think that way...there are very few pieces that I think are that good, they're just 'mine' 'me' and I put them out there. I don't know, does everyone feel that way?

[Jack...]

I think so, but with me, when I write something really good I know it, it touches me and has a certain life of its own. I do write some crap from time to time, but I usually try to do my best. It is not uncommon to think that your poetry is "not good enough." That is why you should heed what you hear from others. I would love to see some of your earlier writings, dark or not, they are still you. Talent is talent, you can't just turn it off and on when you want. There are millions of poets out there and I am sure a large chunk of them are good, but only a small percentage are very good...you fall into that percentage. I mean, look at the poem we are taling about right now. It speaks, it has it's own life, it's own heart beat, it's own path and it leads us on it beautifully. Here is what I want you to do, print it out, (print it out, this is important) set it aside and read it a little later on today, but imagine someone else wrote it and then tell me what you think of it. I am not just telling you this to flatter you, I am not going to fly up to north Jersey and sweep you off of your feet, I am just telling you what I see and trust me,I have a very critical eye. So you go girl, keep dazzling us with your beautiful work.

[Frieda P]

You dazzle me with your high praise, speechless really, I don't know what to say other than thank you so much. I will do that...it's so weird that you pick this piece in particular to make such a statement, it was one I considered not even publishing. I sincerely appreciate your feedback and obviously all the lovely things you've said. You've made my day, even the blizzard won't effect me now! ;-)

[Frieda P]

Thinking on what you said, about knowing it when you write something really good, I do like have a special place in my heart for two of my pieces, and the ones I've written for my sister so I guess I can relate to that on some level....

[Jack...]

That's right, I forgot about the blizzard, good luck with that. (it is 75 here)

[Jack...]

So which are the two, are they on here?

[Frieda P]

Ha, you're lucky I'm in a good mood, or you know what I'd have to say to that!....

[Jack...]

Horse s**t???

[Frieda P]

Ha, no I was thinking of something stronger than that, but I'll be a lady! ;-)

[Frieda P]

Oh the one it Trulli Enchantment, it's about the little town in Italy where my family if from, I think it spoke what I was feeling, it's magical... and Raven Song, but I don't think anyone really got me on that one...which is alright too.

[N!LoC]

you make me feel so stupid when reading your poems... its always so deep and full of substance... and at times so hard to undertand.. in a totally good way... :-)

could you explain abit for this silly boy hihi ?

[Frieda P]

Awh, never want you to feel that way, look at it more as a challenge to delve into someone else's psyche, we never see the same things anyway, there's the perspective of the writer and then one of the reader also...once I hand it to you, you can take flight with it and make it your own...thanks for your review.